SHELLY

How are you doing? Haven't seen an update so was just wondering if things are ok.

I have been thinking about you too Shelly I hope you are doing ok let us know!!!

Same here, Shelly. You are in my thoughts daily hun.

Thnx guys

Well i could be better. I haven't been able to get out of the baby blue stage so my doctor( we saw him today) said that if I am still this way in a couple weeks then we will look into PPD. I just hate how I feel. I feel sad all the time. Ill break down and cry many time throughout the day and i said in tears many times to marcus.. I just want to feel happy! The doc said it could be attributed to my traumatic experience my body went through in surgery and it through my hormonal balance waaaay off. I had some blood work done so we will see where my hemoglobin is at. if it has dropped more or not getting back to where it was pre surgery then i have to go see the doc and figure things out and talk about what needs to be done. I started at 150 and when i was discharged it was at 82.

I have no appetite. I'm lucky if i get 3 meals in me. I would have a bowl of cereal for breakfast, Then something for lunch like a sandwich and try to chock down dinner. I have lost 6 pounds in 2 days. I know i have to eat but i just wanna barf when i look at food. It could be from the antibiotics im taking.

I keep going through the what if's in my head about the almost dieing. Would marcus be able to do it? What would of happened to jenna? What would marcus have done when he got the news? and how would jenna be told? Etc etc etc. Ive been getting better and not thinking about it every day but its still there.

Marcus has been a rock! Helping em get through the sadness. He gets up with me when Breanna wakes up, he even out did me in the diaper change department. he is awesome with her. We had to resort to formula feeding because when i hemorrhaged so badly i stopped lactating. There is a name to this as the OB/GYN who did the surgery said this may happen. not all woman get this but some do:( And i was one..

all in all i wish i had a good update but I dont:(

I'm so sorry that you aren't doing too well. Hope you start to feel better soon.

Shelly, I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I hope things start looking up for you so you can really enjoy your baby

Oh Shelly I'm SO sorry!!!! I hope things start getting better for you soon!!!

I am so sorry Shelly..I hope the Dr can get things figured out to help you feel better and enjoy your beautiful new baby girl and your other beautiful little girl..

Shelly I'm so sorry. I hope you start to enjoy your new life with your beautiful babies and Marcus. Try and forget the what if's, the important thing is you're here now and you made it through.

Ditto Shelly I know you will do well through all this. You are an amazing mom and woman.

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling very well. Just try to focus on the here and now, on the great gifts you have and not on what may have happened - that will do you no good, ever.
I hope you're all able to work through things and you get feeling better soon. Post some pix of the family when you feel up to it - I'd love to see you all!

Oh Shelly my heart goes out to you!!! You are such a strong person and you have such a wonderful supportive husband! Be kind to yourself, take good care of yourself!!! We're all here for you!!!