I'm really bothered by something at the kids schoo, Long and ventish

I've mentioned before that I don't like their teacher much, but I felt as I got to know her a little better she really wasn't that bad.

There is a little boy in the class, I'm not sure if he's developmentally challenged or has ADD or what. He's a little out of control, but I genuinely don't think he can help it, he is always all smiles and the kids used to say he was mean but now they like him and play with him.

Ok so today the teacher was telling me about a field trip and right in front of him she said "I refuse to take him, I won't be liable for a kid who acts like a thing." My jaw dropped. I was literally speechless and he heard every word. Complete with her rolling her eyes and "that" tone of voice.

So I asked another mom about it on the way out to the car and she said the teacher makes him sit in a little taped off corner of the room.....every day, every activity, he gets to participate but has to do it in his corner. She also said at lunch he has to sit by himself. She felt bad on Valentines Day and sat with him and the lunch aide told her to move because he's not allowed to sit with anyone. I mean come on, a kid might cause problems for other kids at the table but a grown up can manage to eat her lunch anyway, kwim?

I am so very bothered by this. It just doesn't seem like the right way to handle a kid much less a Kindergartner. I've seen him in action first hand and although I'm not there every minute I can't imagine any good reasons. I mean, if he's got severe problems why can't they have a special ed aide in the class, or move him to special ed overall? I don't know, I just feel like it's so wrong, and when I've dealt with him if you look him in the eye and are firm and just use few words, he's very responsive.

He's not my kid, so I don't feel I have any room to say anything at the school, but I think it's wrong, wrong, wrong. Anyone have input to help me see a good reason behind this?

eta: The other mom I was talking to volunteers in the class three days a week, so she has seen first hand more than I have, and she said he takes effort, like you have to tell him things a few times or he talks when they're supposed to be quiet, etc but that she's never seen anything that warranted this. She's asked the teacher about it a few times, and she says "Oh I'm just not in the mood to deal with him" or "I'm burnt out, I shouldn't even be teaching anymore" (She's only been teaching five years)

This post has been edited by luvmykids on Mar 3 2008, 10:30 AM

Oh, that is so disheartening. It truly makes me sad. I know I have no patience to teach, but I knew better than to become a teacher! I don't know what you can do to help though.

Ok, I have had my fair share of REALLY bad kids before, but NEVER would I even think to treat a child that badly...esp. at that age where they know everything you say and what you mean. Their hearts are so fragile. I once had a little 2 year old that drove me bonkers and she got A LOT of time outs, BUT she was never made to do her things in a corner of the room alone and all that. WOW! That makes no sense and how does that teach him anything? His little self-esteem will be shattered.

She is going about it all wrong, although I am not there and do not know the child I know it is easier said than done...however...if that is how she acts in front of him and how she handles the situations, that certainly doesn't benefit his issues at all and can certainly make his behavior worsen. How does she HELP him???

Personally, I would talk to the principal. I am sure there is more to the situation...perhaps mom and dad do not work with him or they are impossible parents...but like I said, that gives her no excuse to treat him that way. I'd bet with a little more tolerance and love and affection, he'd be at least somewhat better.

It's these kind of teachers that need to find a different field of work. I think too many kids get labeled because some teachers just don't want to 'deal with the kids' instead of actually doing their job.

This post has been edited by Boo&BugsMom on Mar 3 2008, 10:38 AM

I am not sure I could keep my mouth shut about something like that - not only for that child's sake but for the rest of the kids in the class - that is not teaching them anything and IMO it would scare the heck out of me if I was one of the other kids......I would have to talk to the principal about it -

How can anyone get away with treating that little boy that way?
I wouldnt be able to keep my mouth shut I would have to report what I seen and what the teacher has said so sad

That's heartbreaking

I can't imagine what she would have done with Mckaylee....


Mckaylee is doing alot better now though and she actually does good in a group setting.


That is really sad....I wonder if his parents are aware of this.

oh no that poor child!!!!

Same here. No way would I keep my mouth shut.

That breaks my heart on many levels including the one that says "Where are his parents?"

I would not keep my mouth shut about this. I would talk to the principal about this or even the parents of the little boy. Do they even know this is going on? It just doesn't seem right. That poor little boy. Yes, he can learn from a corner of the room but isn't a big part of Kindergarten social interaction? How is learning any social benefits from being secluded ALL day.

This is not right on so many different levels, to the boy, the parents of the little boy, and the other students. They need to learn how to interact with him and socialize with him and vice versa. I think I'd be making an appt to talk with the principal and mention that he might want to call this little boy's parents. So sad

OMG I can't imagine she does that. Wow, I would be so upset to. Does the mother seem bothred by this?

ITA. IMO that is discrimination.

I'm gonna lean towards the opinion of some of the others here. I know its not your child, and that it might be a bit ackward, but I'd perhaps try and tactfully and respectfully find a way to address this issue to the principal. Your children being in the class alone (even if they aren't the ones being treated this way) is cause enough in my mind to raise up a concern. You're right to feel the way you do and you have the right to speak up. After all, a teacher with the mindset to think that sort of treatment is ok is probably also open to "cutting corners" with other behaviors and policies that shouldn't be compromised on.

I know you must feel caught between a rock and a hard place though.....keep us posted and hope this situation turns up!

I dont think I could keep quiet about it either. Someone needs to report that teacher. That little boy also probably needs to be seen so maybe he can get some help. But that teacher needs a good talking to, or really, to be removed from teaching, because people like that should NOT be teaching children.

Oh gosh, that just breaks my heart. I'm really concerned for that little boy because while he may have behavior issues now, he is really going to have behavior issues if he believes the words of his teacher (and we all know they do at this age).

I'd be concerned about the other kids in the class too. What is it teaching them, except how to bully and outcast someone.

I'm with the others, you should speak to the principal.

Ashley had a little boy in her class that was disruptive. Then he started to hit so the teacher moved his desk up next to hers and away from the other students. So, it makes me wonder if the boy that you speak of has ever been violent. If this is the case, I can see how the teacher might move his desk away from the other kids, but I still can't believe she completely isolates him from the other students and uses those kinds of comments. In the situation in Ashley's class, they've brought in extra help, and a psychologist has helped to devise a behavioral modification plan. He was still included in the other activities with all the kids, but she just uses a different approach with him. To me, that seems like a plan to help him... not isolate him and tear him down. His behavior has improved but he still gets into trouble sometimes. However, I think the teacher does a great job of managing the situation and he is coming around and the rest of the class isn't affected by his behavior. Anyways, my point is that there is a way to manage behavior without tearing a kid down. I wouldn't have the patience to be a teacher, but then I am NOT a teacher. This woman needs to find a new profession.

I would say something as a parent of a child who has ADHD they can be a handful at times but that isnt the way to handle it. I know our school system here sucks and I know my son has been treated that way in the past and sometimes currently. My son is labeled a trouble maker or disruptive and there was a teacher last year who told my older daughter she too was "done dealing with him" I was and went and set her straight! Sometimes we parents depend on the eyes and ears of other parents his parents at the very least would probably greatly appreciate this being brought to their attention. I know my son doesn't tell me if the teachers are mean to him or anything his sister does lol! And it isnt fair to your kids either I am sure him being singled out draws there attention to him and whats going on and they can't concentrate on their studies!

I did some asking around today, with other moms I know. The principal is aware of this, the school counselor is too. They've told everyone who has mentioned it that it's not their child, they're not the teacher, and to mind their own business basically.

My friend who is actually in their classroom a few times a week said his mom seems a little slow, she doesn't know for sure if she has any true disabilities or is just kinda detached, but she said his grandma is the one for the most part dealing with the school. Apparantly him, his grandma, the teacher and the counselor meet regularly. His dad isn't around, his mom works two jobs and they live behind her parents. I've seen his mom but never talked to her but everyone else who has said it seems like she just thinks the school is trying to do whats best for him and she is convinced that he must just be awful at school

I'm still as upset as I was this morning. I want to know if anyone knows she actually TAPED OFF a corner that he has to sit in all day or if all they know is what she says about him, kwim? I guess she has a binder that she keeps for him and makes notes of all his "incidents" in to pass on to his next teacher.

I asked my kids a few questions, I thought by some chance maybe it had been exaggerated but they said he even sits there to eat snack, and that he's nice now and doesn't hit or push but the teacher won't let him come out of the square.

I guess I'll start with the principal, and if I get the same brush off that everyone else has I'll go to the super intendant? I almost want to call child services, the more I hear, the more abusive it sounds to me.

Jennie, you hit the nail on the head by asking why they aren't trying to HELP him....from my observances of this little boy he IS NOT "that bad"...yes, in the beginning of the year all the twins talked about was him pushing someone or taking something away, etc but it really to me sounded like he just didn't have social skills. Now they like him and say he's quiet during lessons, etc. I haven't been in the classroom for a whole day but when I've been there he doesn't seem at all bad intentioned, just misdirected if that makes sense. He looks genuinely suprised when he's in trouble, like he didn't know he did something wrong. It's so sad, I've had a knot in my stomach all day about him

This post has been edited by luvmykids on Mar 3 2008, 07:46 PM

One thing comes to mind when a teacher bad-mouths a kid to others that way. What does she say about my kids when I'm not present? I'm famous for invading principal's offices so that I would say something is without question.

I am just sitting here with my mouth hanging open reading these posts. how in the world does a school get away with something like this?
I for sure would go to the principle first, and then if he blows you off, then i would call child services, if the mom is slow and the gramma might be at a loss of how to fight the school, then someone needs to stick up for this child. how is he ever going to get any better if no one helps him. and maybe this isnt the school for him, but he cant be put on public display in his taped off area for all the other kids to see. and for sure it is teaching them a horrible thing.
i just cant imagine!
my heart just breaks for this little boy.
i would be so interested in hearing more about him.

That is just awful! I can't see how anyone could do that to a child. That teacher does not deserve her job. I would contact the principal, the parents, you name it. Who knows what else she does to other students?

Another reason why I choose to homeschool.

Then go to the school board

Then go to the school board

Yes, I agree! That child needs someone to help him .

Monica, I just wanted to add that I admire you for taking on this challenge, which is a big one. I think all of us would do it in a heartbeat for our own child, but I know a lot of people that just "mind their own business" when it comes to another person's child. I'm glad this child has at least one advocate on his side, I'm proud of you.