Controversial questions forum?

BTDT not interested...but I'm always up for a good circ fight. And when I REALLY get in a mood, talk to me about co sleeping or vaccinations.

Well, yeah, but if it is in a locked forum, then can't you just not go in there?
I don't know, I feel that good healthy debates are educational, and that it helps me be a better parent not only in letting me talk in an adult manner with peers so I don't loose my mind, while helping me learn about other people, which can give me insight into ways I would want to raise my child.

I've suggested it to the mods before, and the idea was rejected. I've resuggested the idea.

Jen - if you don't want to go into that forum, don't.... that's all there is to it.

As for the topics being hot\not - I think that certain people post\respond to stir up MORE trouble, and those people will no doubt follow those controversial posts to continue their attacks. It don't matter where the topics are posted, there will be a clique to follow them. But at least, they'll have made a choice to go to the other forum, open the posts and reply. It won't be in their face and irresistible

if you're going to make a forum like that then I would put a disclaimer on there that they are about to enter a debate styled forum and are entering at their own risk in addition to the certain amount of posts.

Would this forum still be monitored by mods?

I agree.

I also think it would be monitored by mods in the sense that there still can't be personal attacks and any violations of the TOS. Right?

ETA: I wasn't so sure a forum like this would be good, but now I think it would. That way if someone goes into the forum and reads the posts they can't get upset or say they are offended. It would be a debate forum and you have to know that others aren't going to have your opinion going into it. It may alleviate a lot of problems for sure.

This post has been edited by coasterqueen on Aug 29 2007, 07:50 AM

I agree.

I also think it would be monitored by mods in the sense that there still can't be personal attacks and any violations of the TOS. Right?

ETA: I wasn't so sure a forum like this would be good, but now I think it would. That way if someone goes into the forum and reads the posts they can't get upset or say they are offended. It would be a debate forum and you have to know that others aren't going to have your opinion going into it. It may alleviate a lot of problems for sure.

Exactly. That way some members cannot say other members are always starting controversy, members can post what they like and there really should be no reason for a post in a thread wondering why the thread was started. And by saying this I by no means think those members are wrong or that the topic starters by any means are wrong. I understand both sides and IMO a debate forum would separate the two different kinds of members. If you do not like those topics then you don't go in. If you are a person who does not mind reading them or starting the thread then now you would have a place to do it without feeling like an instigator. Everybody walks away happy and we all

I agree I don't think having a debate forum would solve anything. For example on another parenting board that I was involved in while pregnant with Claudia, they couldn't handle or accept the idea of PPD and I was bashed so badly. I never wanted to join another Parenting Message Board again. Problems are going to happen, people are going to disagree, but I think if you want to have a debate find a Message Board that is specifically for that. I just want the old board back, this place is not the same anymore.

I am against the idea of a debate forum for 2 main reasons:

1) There are plenty debate only websites out there.
2) Even if we make it a password required forum, users will tend to base judgment on someone because of what they said in the debate forum and then use it against them in other forums. Its just not worth it, I have seen too many websites including tech forums that open up a debate forum to latter regret it and have to suspend or warn people for discussing things outside the private forum, etc.

Now with that said, if enough people want something like this, then obviously it would be in the best interest of this website to accommodate them. I am just very uneasy about it. I am open to ideas that can make this not be a problem, etc.

I personally think its a bad idea!!

I agree I don't think having a debate forum would solve anything. For example on another parenting board that I was involved in while pregnant with Claudia, they couldn't handle or accept the idea of PPD and I was bashed so badly. I never wanted to join another Parenting Message Board again. Problems are going to happen, people are going to disagree, but I think if you want to have a debate find a Message Board that is specifically for that. I just want the old board back, this place is not the same anymore.

I think we may all see this board differently. I think the boards has loosened up a bit (either that or I've conformed ). We do have other things on this board that do not pertain to parenting. The P&I forum for instance. I've only been there about 3x because I just have no need to go in there. I surely don't want to lurk and I've only made a post or two. If those posts were in GD I'd have to weed through them. Same with the humor section. I never go into the games and stuff like that and I'm glad it has it's own section. This site also offers a siggy section that not all members use but some like to. I really don't see what the difference is if the debate/hot topics are in their own forum. We've had plenty of hot threads that just dwindled away without being locked. And CJ'SMOM2002, this is not just for you but really anyone who does not want it, I don't see why it makes that big of a difference if it's added really. This is a public forum so it gets all sorts of traffic and with that come all sorts of people. Some don't mind debates/hot topics, some can be livid in a thread and leave that thread and not take it out on anyone outside of it (I'm one of those people). Disagree with me all you want but darn it if you can agree with me in something else then lets do it. I will do the same for anyone as well. I think there are plenty of private forums out there that will limit their forums but I'm not sure a public forum should do that.

Either way, if PC opens it or not will be hunky dory with me.

How about a poll?

I've thought of this too...I'm on the fence as to wether or not people can leave the things that get said in a debate there.

Good idea

There are plenty of debate websites out there. These websites are on other parenting boards. This board was fine when I joined and I would like for it to go back to the old ways. I vote against the controversial forum.

I agree. I personally do not think it would solve anything.

I like the idea but I don't know if it will work. That was my big complaint, it seems like every time I signed on there was a 5 page debate thread, with 34857349753489 people responding - so naturally out of curiousity I'd look. Then I'd end up reading and see members go back and forth and it's really irritating. And I can only think it looks bad for people looking to join the board, to see people going at each other. I joined a little over a year ago and it was pretty intimidating anyways. I think putting the debates in a separate forum would make it so they aren't all in your face, and then if the poster/reader chooses to go there and gets mad, it's their funeral and their own darn fault. But then again TLCdad is right - it makes more work for the mods and some people may not be able to separate debate from the rest of the board and then there is always the risk of a nasty debate spilling into the main posting area.

I guess the fairest way is to have an annonymous poll - I think something needs to be changed but will be the first to admit, I don't know what that thing is. There just needs to be a change to make many more comfortable here - I know you guys say to just ignore it but it's human nature to be curious and get sucked in, especially when you see your friends getting bashed.

I feel badly that I contributed to the mess on this board but I didn't do it out of malice, it was out of concern for others who felt they couldn't speak for themselves and being sick of hearing people complainj but do nothing and out of my own discomfort. I hope no one looks badly on me now or worries I'm a trouble maker, I've never done anything like that before and as tempting as it is to jump back in with the new thread about the controversy, I'm taking a bit of advice and staying out of it

I like the idea alot but would rather it be called a Hot Topics forum than a debate forum. Debate makes it sound all controversial when alot of times these discussion start tamely enough and then become heated. I like the idea of it being a locked forum and the mods moving issues that become heated to this area - then people can avoid them if they don't want to be sucked in.

Yes this is a parenting forum but I think that has become a really convienient excuse for locking threads and complaining about topics. Obviously other things are discussed here - look at the other forums (humor, relationships, P&I, etc. We can't just decide to use that (that this is a parenting board) as an excuse to censor conversation. (Well I guess you can but I think you shouldn't.)

The board has changed - but that's life. As new people join things will change. AND THAT'S OKAY. Change is good for us. It pushes us to grow and develop as members of society. I personally kind of like it when things get heated because it makes me think and so often as a stay at home mom the biggest mental stimulation I get is whether we'll eat grits or oatmeal for breakfast . I like to think. I like to be challenged mentally. And I like to grow. ETA: Yes I know I could go to another board to be challenged mentally, but I like you guys. You're my "online family."

As for forming opinions about people in this forum and then letting those opinions bleed over into other discussions - that happens already. I have opinions about alot of people on the board - some good, some bad. You can't avoid that - it's a community and people are going to form opinions about each other just as we do in daily life. I don't think adding this forum will make that any better or worse.

This post has been edited by Bamamom on Sep 2 2007, 06:49 PM

There are plenty of debate websites out there. These websites are on other parenting boards. This board was fine when I joined and I would like for it to go back to the old ways. I vote against the controversial forum.

dito to that. No matter what good intentions people have when getting into these debates feelings always get hurt and people always get mad. As for just staying out of the hot topics board, that doesn't work for people like me who mainly use the "todays topics" button instead of going into each board individually.

As one who has taken part in many past controversial topic debates, I have to say that I don't think that creating a forum will make a great deal of difference. People who take a topic very personally in the general (or any other of the PC forums for that matter) will do the same in a forum dedicated to hot or controversial topics.

I don't really think that a designated forum will create "the perfect place" either. Many topics that turn to hot debate start innocently enough to be in any forum. I just think that we all have to remember that you're not going to change anyone's way of thinking in any great way regardless of your personal position or power of reasoning, and in a group as diverse as this one, you have to accept that.

Secondly we must all remember that another's personal position is not necessarily a reflection on that person as a good citizen or human being.

Finally, we should all take pause anytime we see an opinion in a thread that stings us personally. I often find that my position, and therefore my response, is tempered by time when I see something that really hits me hard in my belief system. I'm not saying that I am changed by the time I take, only that the phrasing of my responses are more often less caustic when I give myself a little time to reflect and realize that the person(s) offering the counter-opinion are people I respect, and that the respect has been built over time and shouldn't be weighed against a single offered opinion or position. And that's all I have to say about that.

lol

how about a "difference of opinion forum" then?

LMAO!

These were my thoughts exactly. Not worth it IMO. And I can just see people in GD saying "well in the Debate forum, you said xy&z and it hurt my feelings". And then the whole snowball effect happens, people are mad in GD and it's going to make a lot of extra UNEEDED work for the mods. I know debating can be educational, but I think opening a forum (locked or not) will only cause added tension on the whole board. JMO. I think we're doing really good as it is.

I'm with the guys on this one (Ed and Rod)- pretty much for the same reasons.

I know I'm not always "in the know" when the s&%# hits the fan around here, but by and large, we're a well behaved group by message board standards. We've had our lapses here and there, feelings have been hurt, but when you get right down to it, the board culture demands a definite level of civility not generally found elsewhere on the web. I really credit Rod, Dee Dee, and the other mods for keeping everything under control, and I'm sure it's no small task. Creating a debate forum is another level of administrative hassle for them, and I don't think it will resolve the issues at hand.

Goodness, yes.

I adore debating (well, fighting, but "debating" sounds more polite ).

Whenever I join a new site that's usually the first place I head to!