Ummmm Hi

[SingleDadof4]

Well hello everyone. I hope I can get a lot of helpful advice here.

I am a, now, single father of four, 3 boys and 1 girl. Earlier this year my wife of 13 years informed me that should could not take the pressure anymore and packed a bag and left. The only communication I have had from her since then is through her lawyer.
I was floored. I had no idea this was coming. Thus I have been thrust into the duty of taking care of four kids and try to earn a living.

Any advice on keep me and the kids balanced from the knowledgeable masses would be appreciated.

Well we will leave it there for now but I know I will have lots of questions in the future.

Bye for now.

[moped]

Welcome!
Wow that is a lot to be dealing with - I have no great advice but welcome!

[Miranda1127]

Welcome.
My brother has been going throught the same thing for the past year and a half. there are many goverment services you can use (you must meet financial requirements for most), also in the phonebook (blue pages i think, not sure, in the front) you can find many organization that assist single mothers (due to discrimination laws they can not refuse you assistance based on gender), you could also find these services if you google single mother (single father too)and your city/state (location). you may qualify for assistance (based on if you meet requirements), if nothing else they can offer you information on helpful services (childcare, how to choice childcare, etc..).

good luck and take care
Miranda

[SingleDadof4]

Thank you for the welcome and I will check out some of those suggestions. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, I have a good career, so most of the financial help is probably out of my reach.

I'll keep you updated.

[Mommy2Isabella]

First off Hello!!

Secondly, it sounds like you have a lot on your hands. I have no advice, but I am sure many people on here do

[luvmykids]

Wow, you have a full plate! I'm sorry about your circumstances, I don't have any words of wisdom but we're happy to answer your questions as they come up!

[Twelve Volt Man]

Welcome aboard. This place is a veritable treasure trove of knowledge, with all of the experience that it's members have. I'll add that it's great to see another guy here, as there aren't too many of us. You sound like you've really stepped up to the plate, and are making the best of an unfortunate situation. I wish you and your children the best!

[SingleDadof4]

Well to be completely honest, the intimacy has been gone for many years, but I never thought she would up and leave the kids and me. The bad thing is she will not talk to me to try and reconcile. I’ve tried to keep up a brave front for the kids, and have some good friends at work that I can confide in, but it is difficult to explain to a 2 year old why Mommy isn’t living with us anymore.
I can’t work as much as I use to and have been trying to work from home some to save money and I even had to drop out of the company bowling league because the baby sitter was getting too expensive. Thank goodness one of the college girls from church was able to help me out with that.

Here’s a question for you. How do you juggle parenting and adult life, like bowling league?

Thanks again everyone.

[Kaitlin'smom]

Hi and welcome, I am sorry for what your having to go though that sounds just awful.

as far as adjusting adult life and parenting, well honestly you need that time away as we all need a break, I would try and find someone to watch the kids while you go have your you time, like maybe a college or HS kid. I dont know how old your kids are but I truly hope you can find peace and happynesss.

I hate to be nosy but you said the intamacy was gone for a long time, might i ask was this just you letting it go or more one sided, sorry if thats to personal you dont have to answer.

[SingleDadof4]

Not too personal. I don't think I could tell you exactly when and why it happened. Right after our second son, Michael, was born, she got very distant. She went to the doctor several times and said everything was ok. Never really regained the romance after that. Of course we tried on several occasions, thus Zachary, but it was not like it was before. I don't think it was either one of us as much as it was a combination of a lot of different things all combined.

The kids are:
Zach - 2
Michael - 4
Liz - 7
Ethan - 10

We have a college girl now from church that helps me out, but that gets pretty expensive. She has babysit for us in the past on rare occasions but my wife never really liked her for some reason and would only use her as a last resort.

Thanks again for your interest and your ideas.

[MoonMama]

Welcome to PC.

I am so sorry your going through so much, but you should be very proud of yourself. Can't wait to get to know you and your kids.

[ZandersMama]

Hi there, I dont have alot of advice but wanted to welcome you kudos to you for stepping up with the kids, it's more then alot of people will do.

[msoulz]

Greetings!

You have my undying respect for doing whatever needs to be done for your kids. Hang in there Dad! Your babies love you!!!!!

[Maddie&EthansMom]

Welcome to the boards. I applaud what you are doing for the well being of your children and hope you get the advice you need.

[redchief]

Welcome aboard. It sounds as if you've had a tough road of late. I hope I can be of some informative help when you need it.

[ian'smommy]

Welcome to the board. I've been kinda MIA for awhile but am trying to make it back more often. I had my life change suddenly as well. I am sorry to hear about what you had had to deal with.
My husband packed a bag in December and then had an affair. We are now going to be divorcing. We have been married almost 8 years. One son who is almost 5. I think it was after my situation took off that I was noticing just how many people were hurting over something huge that happened in their marriage. I never saw my situation coming. Just as you didn't since you were floored. I remember wondering, "who is this person? I have no clue."
Anyway....... again I am sorry for what you have been going thru. Stay strong for your kids. As hard as that can be sometimes. You will be fine.