Emily and the Internet, Very Scary!, How do I Handle this???

I'm still in shock, absolute shock! I came home this afternoon with this message to call my friend. Her daughter answered the phone and was crying hysterically. She was telling me to go downstairs to Emily's room that there was this guy named "Shane" down there. I told her that I just got home and there was no one down there. Apparantly this "Shane" person had been using Emily's MSN and telling my friends daughter that he has seen pictures of Emily naked, that he watches her when she sleeps, that he has a key to our house and then he asked her if she would miss Emily because he was going to kill her. She's crying, Emily's yelling. I told them both to ban this "Shane" from there MSN, I told Emily to change her password. And then my friend printed off the mesages and said that we should call the police, as soon as we said we were going to call the police Emily went nuts begging me not to call the police that she knew who this "Shane" was, she was screaming at us. It was awful and then the truth came out. "Shane" is Emily! Emily has been writing these messages to her friend. We're not sure why and it took a long time for her to stop crying. I called my friends son, because that's who Emily said he was. His name is Shane and he was so confused when I called and I asked him about everything. He said no he doesn't even know Emily's email address. So I asked him to have his parents call me when they got home. I'm so worried about Emily, I'm calling a Counselling Agency tomorrow morning.

omg that is awful. i would definitely talk to her counselor as well as let her know there is no more unsupervised computer time until she can prove she can use it responsibly.

good luck and i hope everything works out

Oh Gosh! I am so sorry. This is the trouble with the internet, it can be anoymous and yet so not! I am glad your friend's daughter told her mom. I am glad Emily finally told you. Your whole family has been through so much. I would bet this will be a small hurdle. Emily just needs her Mom right now. Counseling will be good for her. Spencer's illness has taken up so much family time, Emily just needs something. I know you will get through this. Stay strong. Let us know what you need.

wow, thats horrible

I am glad you are getting some help about this, you all have been through so much lately maybe its just a cry for some attention or a stupid prank.... man, I am so glad that the other girl told her mom.

Oh man! That is so strange! I wonder if it is a reaction to everything your family has been through? I really think a counselor is a great idea. Poor kiddo.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I would certainly see about counseling. Your family has been through so much. And that other girl is to be commended for stepping up to protect her friend!

I would immediately remove the internet access from her room and have it only in a common area so anyone walking by can see what is going on. That will deter deviant behavior.

Oh Kirsten I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you got to the bottom of it, my stomach was lurching until you said Emily was Shane. A counselor will be a great help.

I made an appointment today for a telephone intake. Because Emily is now 12, she has to be present for the intake. So I have to pull her out of school 45 minutes before school is out just so she can be here. I don't think she is going like this! But I don't see any other options!

I'm sure it's not going to be easy and you're right, she probably won't like it. But as her mom it's one of those situations where she just doesn't have a choice. Stay strong

12 year olds do ridiculous things. I agree that this seems like a cry for attention, and it will mean a lot to her internally for you to haul her out of school and get her to the intake, even if she objects. When I was 13, back in the stone age, I answered an ad to write to a prisoner that I saw in the back of Rolling Stone magazine. My mom totally flipped out when she found out I had been doing this and read the letters. I thought she was totally unfair and mean then. But she cared and intervened, and at 42 that's what I now remember. Emily needs your help and attention---you are so doing the right thing.

Thank You both so much! I'm just so worried about her. She's a great kid, all of her teachers have told us that she has adjusted to everything that has happened so well. I guess we were all wrong!

oh hon that is scary. you are definitely doing the right thing. keep us posted.

WOW, very scary, and I wouldn't definetly say a cry for help due to all the trama your family has been through lately. Hope everything goes alright with the call. Please keep us posted.

WOW oh honey!!! I agree it sounds to me like she is trying to get attention!!! Let us know how it goes!!!

I was actually relieved to hear it was Emily. The thought of someone out there saying that about Emily really scared me.

I am sure this was just Emily's way of getting attention. The entire family has been through a big ordeal, not just Spencer. Although I am sure she is embarrassed by the whole thing, it's good that she was caught and you intervening is just what she needs. Counseling for the entire family is not a bad idea ... I can only imagine all of the built up emotions everyone must be having.

Kirsten, you're such a good Mom and have had to handle so much!

You are doing the right thing here by getting your daughter help. I would definately take the computer out of her room too.