Anyone taking their teenage daughter to "Thirteen"

I watched the Oprah interview with the teenage girl that wrote this movie. It is suppose to be about how teenage girls really act. OMG... what an eye opener. Not just that 13 yr olds are having sex, but the way that these girls think about sex. Mulitple partners is nothing. I can't believe that 12 and 13 year olds are doing these things! I am so scared for Ashley to become a teenager.

Oprah had a special screening for teenage girls and their Mothers and I guess it helped to start the dialogue and a lot of Mothers were finding out that that's how things really were with their own daughters. And, some of the girls were living double lives... a perfect angel at home, went to church, got straight A's, etc... and then they would have "rainbow parties" (I don't think I want to explain this one!)

Wow, things really have changed since I grew up. Or maybe I lived a sheltered life?

I watched that Oprah, too. Totally freaked me out... esp. the rainbow parties Maybe I'll pack Sophia up and take her to a deserted island so that we don't have to deal with all of this.

I watched it too and i wasn't a teenager too long ago and I don't remember any of that going on. I think it was possibly a little exagerated. I know a couple girls that made out at a party and trust me, they wern't cool for it afterwards..if anything they were somewhat shunned for a while. Im sure some of that goes on places but not everywhere and not every girl either. If i had a girlfriend that tried to kiss me,,,she would have gotten a fat lip. And I never went to a party where people just layed around making out.

Me either - I'm just 21, so it's not like teenage years are very far behind....

Rainbow parties? I *heard* about those...but ony on tv. I never knew anyone who actually participated or went or whatever...

if I EVER catch any of my children going to anything like that.... not only will they be kep inside all the time, but I WILL embarass them every chance I get by talking to the other kids' parents ANYTIME my kids go anywhere....

I dno't see a problem with little kisses and holding hands..I think it's cute. But heavy petting at 12? No thanks. Hopefully my children will respect themselves more than that.

ITA~ I don't remember any of that when I was in high school. We weren't that sheltered either. I knew girls who were having sex, but it wasn't anything like the rainbow parties. I haven't been out of h.s that long either and I know a lot of things have changed, but I don't think the majority of teenagers are going through these experiences like said. I know oral sex is on the rise, but there are still good kids out there, too. It is scary when you have a DD. I hate to think of what will be going on when she is in h.s. All we can do is our best.

I hope that is true. I really want to believe that it isn't so bad for our teenagers, but with all the stories you hear, it is hard not to be scared. The Mom's of these daughters were saying the same things, but admitted they were just in denial. I have some time before I have to worry about it, but it is sooo scary to think about it!

I also would keep in mind that an actual 13 year old girl helped write the script,,and Im not saying shes lying,,but she probably did exagerate on how BAD she really was..What teenage girl doesn't want to seem cooler then she really is?

Im 17 so i know whats going on even with teenagers that are thirteen, i know this one little girl who is my brothers friend (she needs friends bad!) she had a b/f recently that was 18 or 19 I know for a fact that he was dating her for what he could get and did get. Its horrible what these girls are doing, i think they do it because they dont feel loved or cool. But what they dont realize is that that stuff doesnt make them cool at all. I think what kept my from doing that stuff was my parents they were always open with me and told me that doing that kind of stuff is wrong and in a way they made me not want to do that stuff at that age anyways i was 16 when i started to well you know and that was only because i was pressured into it, and then i met my dh and fell in love and i knew from the beginning that he was the one, that doesnt justfy anything i did but at least its alright now. I think as long as your are open and honest with your children and you tell them before it can happen that its wrong and that they can always come to you then you shouldnt have too many problems...but that is just my i dont have a teenage daughter so i could very well be wrong.

This post has been edited by Jessyann on Oct 9 2003, 09:00 PM

Jessyann, I don't know if I have told you this or not, but I love having you here. Not only do I enjoy talking to you and love hearing about your baby bean, but it's great to hear things from the perspective of a teenager and how the relationship with the parent is soooo important. Thanks for sharing.

awww that makes me feel good that my opinion does make sense i wasnt to sure! Thank you for making me feel so special! Dh says thank you too he thought what you said was sweet too!

Jessyann, I aggree with M2A--your viewpoint is a refreshing one and you always have great stories. I am looking forward to meeting your baby bean--you sound like you'll be a caring and insightful mom.

awww thanks i just say what i think....

I watched that too and I was disgusted......

Haven't seen it...and I don't planto until it's out on video. I can't see myself and DH spending almost 30$ to go see it. Maybe 5$. At most.

Hi everyone! I know what you mean. I have 7 kids each around 3 years apart and I am now pregnant with triplets. My oldest is 21 My three oldest have bf or gf but there parents are like my husband and I am. N0t wanting our kids to have sex,drink,smoke ect. I got pregnant when I was 20 and married at 19 and it wasn't on accident . I didn't mind about school b/c i am and was smart. I skiped 2nd grade so I knew alot I could of skiped 5th but my parents said no. I fear with my kids that they may get get pregnant at a young age. this is my 8th time being pregnant but that dosen't mean i am addicted to sex. My friend on the other hand has 10 kids and 2 on the way. I am know 5 wks pregnant



Carly & Jason

Jason Jr.- 21
Lisa- 18
Amanda- 15
P.J- 12
John- 12
Stephanie- 9
Mathew- 3

Good luck to all. You all are in my prayers

This is the first time I have seen this post. But anyway, what is the movie "thirteen" I know of "thirteen" ghosts, 13 going on 30? I guess I don't pay much attention. But anyway I don't believe I watched Oprah that day either. I would not want my girl doing anything that you guys are talking about, it would be kinda scary. I remember my teenage years, I wasn't an angel, but I never heard of "Rainbow Party" either. I THINK I can use my imagination and figure out what it is. I'm old school I know. If I could change what I did in my teenage years I would, but I can't, and I am grateful that I made it through them. When I look back, all I can think is, man I was so stupid. But I know that when Arik grows up, we are going to have lots of discussions about all this stuff.

this is an old thread, but I saw that Oprah and that movie looked really interesting. I guess it may be in blockbuster by now...it is a movie about a wild 13 year old girl and I think the mom is played by Holly Hunter

I knew it was an old post, but thought it was interesting. Thanks for the heads-up though!

my little brother Nate asked me to go see it with him. i decided not to because of what i have heard about the movie, and even though my brother and i are very close, i didn't want to interfere with his friends and everything so i let him go with them. i've never heard about "rainbow parties" but i do remember my brother telling me about a "chicken party" he went to, and if it was possible to slap people over the phone i most deffinatly would have. ARRRG!!! Zoe better not be as crazy as I was when i was younger....i hope

Hey Im 14 and I know that i shouldnt be at this forum but i want to see what u aprents are worried about and maybe help u out....

so about this movie.....
i really love that movie and I love it because it shows the pressure i go threw trying to fit in... of cource i dont try that hard and I personally would never do anything like what they do in the movie just to FIT IN. trust me most of the girls DO NOT do this, if u raise ur children properly and if u know that they are with the right people then u shouldnt be worried about whether they do this stuff. Of cource yes we kiss we make-out at parties we drink but it doesnt go that far.

im sorry... but what r rainbow parties ????

Essentially, a bunch of girls at a party wear different colors of lipstick and ... make rainbows... on the boys

I heared about Rainbow parties on Oprah but I never heared of chicken party...what is that?

rainbow parties ?? LOL.... ive never heard of those... LOL i dont think those actually go on!!! its gross most of the girls with a head on the shoulders wouldnt go to one of these. It sound more like an orgy to me than a party.

and what are chicken parties???

I think it totally depends on where you grow up regionally and where you go to school, rather than the time period. I went to high school in the late 70's, and there was a lot of pressure in my high school to lose your virginity or say you did. Of course, this was before AIDS was a known threat. I felt this social expectation (from other girls, not from the boys at all, who were mostly just scared of us!) starting when I was about 13. Of course at that age I thought I was pretty grown up---it's very scary to look back on that. I admit that I breathed a sigh of relief when I found out that I was having a boy---not that they can't get into big trouble, but it just feels less scary to me to think about those teen years. Drugs were almost unknown in my high school, while at the public school drug use was a HUGE problem, so I think the culture of a particular school is an important influence.

The teenage girls in Ann Arbor dress so scantily it shocks me. Some of the schools around here have instituted dress codes. I swear, if they hadn't, some of these girls would be wearing underwear to class. The boys, in contrast, wear everything 5 sizes too big. Yikes. Anyway, I saw a 14 year old boy the other day with about 5 piercings in his face. I thought, OMG did he do this with his parents' permission? Of course, when I was 14, I would have just said it was "awesome" or "gross".