Disturbing video found on daughter's computer, Disturbing video found on daughter's com

[snowangel97010]

Today I was organizing files on our computers when I found a video on my 14 yo daughter's computer that i was curious about. i played it and couldn't believe my eyes. It was a camcorder video of a horrible fist fight between 2 girls and then i recognized one of the girls fighting was one of my daughter's friends! When i brought myself to play the whole thing, I found that my daughter was actually one of the many boys and girls watching the fight and cheering these girls on! This was a brutal fight, obviously pre-arranged, with some pretty hardcore fighting that went on for 1 minute and 45 seconds before some guys finally broke it up. At one point I saw a glimpse that the 2nd girl had a bloody nose and blood spots on her shirt.
I have actually heard something about these videos on the internet before, but i never thought it would hit so close to home. I'm surprised that my daughter would participate even as a spectator in something like that. I have to wonder what is so appealing about 2 girls beating each other senseless.
I haven't talked to my daughter about this yet, because I'm still wondering the best way to approach it. I'm not sure when the fight occurred, but it looked like it was in the past couple of months. I guess what i'm hung up on is what her reaction to me confronting her about this will be. Judging from the video, my strong disapproval of all of this may just fall on deaf ears. there was a lot of peer group pressure in that video! overwhelmingly so... hopefully i'm making some sense. Any thoughts, advice ?

[luvbug00]

Ok now back in the day i probaly would've been one of the fighting girls but we never video taped ours. we did have friends there for "support " and as proof we knoked the other girl senceless..( again I was a very immiture person before Mya) The fights where usually about stuiped stuff like boys and such. That being said. IF Mya ever partook in one of thease fights and I saw it on the computer I would first show her the video and ask what was going on and would she like to be the girl being pounded on..then I would ask WTH possesed her to egg the fight on. and then lay down the punishment and I personally would contact any parents of children involved and the school. Now adays there is NO room for this kind of behavior. I'm sure your daughter may say your violating her privacy but tough cookies for her it is your house, your computer ! I'm sorry you had to see the stuiped things some of us girls do.

[My2Beauties]

Oh my! I would ask her how would she feel if the tables were turned and she was the one being videotaped fighting? I would ask her what makes her think this is cool or is she just watching because her friends are watching? I just have a toddler and a pre-teen stepdaughter who is still in elementary school so I haven't had to deal with something like this before. Ask her where the video came from? Maybe does her school need to be notified about this, did it happen after school, on a bus stop etc....? I don't know - that is a toughie! Sorry I couldn't be of more help but keep us updated!

[jennymom444]

Well I am a 22 year old mother, so it wasn't all that long ago for me that I was a teenager. I think the whole videotaping thing is a recent trend with the internet, but I do remember seeing at least 2 serious girl fights like the one you described, and yes one of those was a friend of mine at the time in 10th grade. I remember there was a lot of "friends backing up other friends" type of a comradery when 2 girls were going to fight after school. If your friend was going to fight, you didn't want her to go alone, you wanted to support her. If you didn't do that, you would be abandoning your own friend which was treacherous. I'm not saying this is even remotely a good thing or remotely mature, that's just how I saw things happen.

I'm not sure I have a great suggestion, other mothers/fathers with teens might be more helpful. But I would at least try to see her perspective (see end of first paragraph) as it might help for you to get a message across to her in the end. "First seek to understand, then to be understood"

[snowangel97010]

No the fight did not happen at school. It was clear that it was arranged in advance to happen in an unpopulated area, probably so that no 'passerby' would interfere and break it up. It looked like a field a few blocks from the school.
Thanks for the comments so far. I have to admit when I was in Middle school/high school (which was 20+ years ago) i never saw a fight like this. I saw plenty of fights in school, both girls and boys, but they never lasted more than 30 secs, they were never recorded, they were rarely pre-meditated (at least from what i remember), and they never had groups of supporting friends to back them up and cheer them on. maybe i went to an old fashioned school though
We're going to talk to my daughter tomorrow about it. Wish me luck :|

[ashade75]

Snowangel,

Did everything go well when you confronted your daughter?

We are thinking about you.