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> How many of you nurse your baby (m)
shelrae00
Posted: Apr 8 2003, 01:44 PM
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I asked this on the PP board but wanted to ask here too.

"to sleep? I am not sure if I should break the habit now or what. Nursing her to sleep is so much less stressful though. If I try to just put her down when she is tired she just screams and screams bawling.gif . I just don't know if I am setting myself up for more trouble later when she is weaned. Any ideas?"

I am just worried if she nurses herself to sleep until she is 1 or 1 1/2 yrs old how will she be able to fall asleep after she is weaned and should I just suck it up and break the habit now...


Any suggestions girls and Guy smile.gif!! ?



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supermom
Posted: Apr 8 2003, 01:56 PM
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Yes, I nurse my son to sleep, and he's now three. He still needs to nurse to sleep for his nap, but at night, he has some BM then just usually turns over and goes to sleep without nursing. Since I am PG again, if my breasts and nipples are sore a little, and he wants to nurse longer, I usually just tell him I am sore and he takes it all in stride.

My oldest ones nursed too, but not this long, and it never interfered with their ability to self comfort after they gave up nursing. But we always rocked to sleep, it was the most peaceful and stress-less time of day for us - we both got to relax together and made for a great end-of-day experience. This too, they all gave up with time, and still don't have sleep problems, they all slept pretty much all night fairly regular early-on.

Of course, I think some of it has to do with parenting style. I (and now we) were pretty hands on when it came to all of this, and rocking, nursing, cuddling, etc, fit right in with the rest of our style. I think alot of how you handle everything with your kids has to do with this, and how I might handle something would be totally different than how you might handle it.

However, I have never been a proponent of CIO - to me that just seems cruel to let them cry and fuss until they go to sleep, because what (IMHO) they really want to know is that you are there for them.

HTH


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Beverly, DH Eje, and mom to PJ, 20 Leah, 18 Sara, 16 Anders, 5
and Emily, almost 2

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MommyToAshley
Posted: Apr 8 2003, 02:04 PM
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During the day, sometimes I can lay her down for her nap in her crib and she will go to sleep on her own.

At night, she always nurses and goes to sleep while nursing. I am with you, I have read that this is not a good idea. But, it is the only way that Ashley will go to sleep at night and both of us enjoy it so much more than if I were to put her in her crib -- because she'd just cry. I figure there will come a time when I may regret it. But, she will wean herself sometime... and then I assume she will learn to go to sleep on her own. After all, we don't have 18 year olds going off to college that have to nurse to sleep, right? So, until the time comes when she weans, I am trying to enjoy this special time with Ashley. biggrin.gif


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Joshua Lee 2/03/00 (Our Angel in Heaven)


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shelrae00
Posted: Apr 8 2003, 02:08 PM
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Well you are right about the 18 year olds... laugh.gif Thank goodness... laugh.gif

I know, it is so special to nurse her to sleep. It hurts my heart when she cries and I agree with you supermom that
QUOTE
because what (IMHO) they really want to know is that you are there for them.


I guess I will just enjoy this special time with her now and deal with what happens later, later...



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supermom
Posted: Apr 8 2003, 02:53 PM
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QUOTE (shelrae00 @ Apr 8 2003, 04:08 PM)
I guess I will just enjoy this special time with her now and deal with what happens later, later...

Just from my own personal experience, it doesn't last long enough, that precious time, and all too soon they don't think they need you any more - yes, do enjoy it while it lasts, it is definately over too soon!!


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Beverly, DH Eje, and mom to PJ, 20 Leah, 18 Sara, 16 Anders, 5
and Emily, almost 2

"A mother holds her children's hands for just a little while, but she holds their hearts forever."
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
"Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years."
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supermom
Posted: Apr 9 2003, 06:57 PM
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One other thing I would like to add is that when I am not around, or Anders' is not around me, is that he knows the difference between Mommy and anyone else (they ALL know!). If I don't happen to be there to nurse him to sleep, he'll rock with someone else, or now that he's older, he will just lay down and take a nap by himself.

Two days a week my 16 yo daughter used to come by the store after school and pick him up and take him home so that I could get some things done. Sometimes he hadn't had his nap yet, so she would come home, lay him on the couch and tell him after his nap they would play. He would say "OK, sissy" and then promptly fall asleep.

I guess what I am trying to say, and I am rambling, is that even if you don't "break" them of nursing to sleep, it probably won't matter when you are not a handy comfort happy.gif for them to use (at least when they get a little older, that is!) HTH more!


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Beverly, DH Eje, and mom to PJ, 20 Leah, 18 Sara, 16 Anders, 5
and Emily, almost 2

"A mother holds her children's hands for just a little while, but she holds their hearts forever."
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
"Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years."
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CantWait
Posted: Apr 9 2003, 11:20 PM
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although I didn't nurse Robbie for long, I did give him a bottle before he went to sleep, it was a little difficult trying to find a way to put him to sleep after we finally did break the bottle habit, but it didn't take long to get into a new routine.


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Kaitlin'smom
Posted: Apr 10 2003, 05:15 AM
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Sometimes she will fall asleep while nursing, guess its pretty relaxing. If its at bed time and she falls asleep, then I go swaddle her in her blanket and then rock her for a little while, then to bed. If she does not fall a sleep then either DH or I rock her to sleep, the swaddle her and rock a little more then to bed. DH really likes when she falls asleep in his arms wub.gif


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MommyToAshley
Posted: Apr 10 2003, 06:02 AM
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QUOTE
One other thing I would like to add is that when I am not around, or Anders' is not around me, is that he knows the difference between Mommy and anyone else (they ALL know!). If I don't happen to be there to nurse him to sleep, he'll rock with someone else, or now that he's older, he will just lay down and take a nap by himself.
Ashley will fall asleep in DH's arms for naps sometimes. She did this yesterday when I was at the mall. I came home and she was taking a nap with DH...sooo cute! wub.gif


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Joshua Lee 2/03/00 (Our Angel in Heaven)


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Kaitlin'smom
Posted: Apr 10 2003, 07:15 AM
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QUOTE
Ashley will fall asleep in DH's arms for naps sometimes. She did this yesterday when I was at the mall. I came home and she was taking a nap with DH...sooo cute!



dont we all just love thoes moments! wub.gif


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+Zemirah+
Posted: Apr 10 2003, 07:37 AM
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I nursed all of mine to sleep. My eldest would fall asleep and stay that way when I put him into his crib. My second through sixth babies have all nursed to sleep and basically co-slept with us to one degree of another. Every one of them weaned beautifully... my last baby nused until 21 mos (which is the longest I ever nursed) and he is still co-sleeping with me, but hasn't nursed since last July and... no problems. I think when they are ready they truly don't want and need to nurse anymore, even to sleep.
(and I don't totally wean by only my children's indication they are ready... I just watch their signals and gradually slow down on the nursing times when it seems they show me signs they are nearing readiness)

HTH smile.gif


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Schnoogly
  Posted: Apr 10 2003, 02:14 PM
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I am glad to hear all of this--I also nurse Iain to sleep. It's the only thing that calms him down. I am so glad he even nurses at all (very long story--rough start with BF due to 3 weeks in NICU and heart probs made him sleepy, bad latch, nipple confusion, my *still* low milk supply etc.) that I don't mind it. One thing I do do is take my nipple out of his mouth when he's just almost asleep. I don't leave it in there until it falls out once he's deep asleep. This way he gets to nurse to sleep but realizes that he can sleep without my nipple in his mouth. (We cosleep too) Hopefully this will make the transition to not nursing easier.

Steph wink.gif


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dhoppygirl
  Posted: Apr 10 2003, 03:02 PM
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I also nurse Peyton to sleep at night. If he isn't hungry, I usually just hold him and sing and rock him. He usually wakes up when I put him in his crib, but he goes back to sleep; if he is fussy, he sucks on his pacifier for a few minutes, spits it out and goes to sleep. I love the time we spend together at night, since I work all day.

Dawn


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MomToMany
Posted: Apr 11 2003, 03:27 AM
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wavey.gif thumb.gif I always nurse Hannah to sleep. I think it's a nice way for her to transition into sleep. I would never let my kids Cry-It-Out, which I think is absolutely cruel, because they're crying for a reason; whether they're hungry, wet, or just want to cuddle. I liked it when my babies woke up at night because I enjoyed the time to just snuggle with them, and I had them all to myself for awhile wub.gif . Hannah still wakes up 2 or 3 times a night! Call me silly.gif or nuts.gif or wacko.gif ! Now Hannah will be 1 in a couple weeks, and I have a feeling my cuddly, snuggly baby girl won't want to do that so much anymore bawling.gif !

Enough rambling for me, I'll shut up now blush.gif !

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Joannerobinm
Posted: Apr 11 2003, 05:44 AM
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We have been working on not nursing Alex to sleep. He now goes to bed at night with out nursing. However when he wakes up at, say 3am, I nurse him right back to sleep. This morning when I was nursing him at 3am I was thinking how much I would miss it if I night weaned him. I'm not sure if he needs the milk or the just the comfort but until he decides that he isn't going to wake up anymore, then thats when I will stop nursing him back to sleep!.


does that make any sense at all?


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supermom
Posted: Apr 11 2003, 07:07 AM
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QUOTE (Joannerobinm @ Apr 11 2003, 08:44 AM)
However when he wakes up at, say 3am, I nurse him right back to sleep. This morning when I was nursing him at 3am I was thinking how much I would miss it if I night weaned him. I'm not sure if he needs the milk or the just the comfort but until he decides that he isn't going to wake up anymore, then thats when I will stop nursing him back to sleep!.


does that make any sense at all?

Makes perfect sense to me, worked that way for all of mine, some just took longer than others to give up that "middle of the night feeding"

Anders is three and he didn't give those up until about 6 months ago! I loved being able to cuddle and snuggle with him and nurse him back to sleep.....


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Beverly, DH Eje, and mom to PJ, 20 Leah, 18 Sara, 16 Anders, 5
and Emily, almost 2

"A mother holds her children's hands for just a little while, but she holds their hearts forever."
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
"Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years."
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Hillbilly Housewife
Posted: Apr 11 2003, 07:25 AM
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I didn't really breastfeed after 2 months.... because it was hard for me. But I agree with the other moms... I miss the closeness I felt when I did breastfeed!!


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msjennbug
Posted: Apr 16 2003, 12:13 PM
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I've nursed three of our five children. The first two I really didn't have a clue as to what to do and it didn't last more than a week. sad.gif

But the third we were following a strict parenting program that advocated parent directed feedings. B/C of this she was laid down awake, NEVER nursed to sleep - gee didn't want to spoil her did we??? (sarcasm, k?)
It was around the time she was born I began to learn of controversy with that program and at 7.5mo when she LOST weight and was diagnosed FTT we tossed it out completely and have never parented teh same since.

anyway.... the fourth and fifth babies were nursed when THEY wanted to, including while going to sleep.

The fourth child, around 10months old, started not wanting to nurse, but just be rocked to sleep. She'd take her bedtime nursing, but pull off awake and just stare at me or sing to me until she fell asleep. It was not long after that that she began pushing me away at that time. Finally, it got through my thick skull and I would just lay her down after the nursing. She went right to sleep. And until she moved down the hall in a room with a sister she was the "perfect" going to sleep littlegirl. you'd tell her "goodnight, i love you. God bless." and not hear anythign out of her. (NOW's a different story. LOL)

Then our fifth child came along and I nursed him to sleep as well. Weaning him was abrupt. Neither of us were ready, but it seemed the right thing to do at the time. He was 13mo. After being weaned, dh would rock him to sleep. If I tried, it didn't work b/c he wanted to nurse still. Eventually, after a few weeks, he preferred me to rock him to sleep. He's 17mo now, some naps/nights he's rocked to sleep and some he goes down by himself.

No, I don't think there's anything wrong with nursing those babies to sleep. No permanent damage done to their sleeping abilities. (Actually, we have more issues with those we made CIO) Enjoy the time while it lasts. It won't be forever. Even if you transition to rocking to sleep after weaning... It's really not likely your 10yo will let you rock them to sleep! bawling.gif We only get them for so long, then they go and get independent on us, eventually flying the nest all together!
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MommyToAshley
Posted: Apr 16 2003, 12:17 PM
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Thanks for sharing the wisdom of your experience with us. I feel a little better now. smile.gif


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