Since today is a day of revelations, here is mine!

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This post has been edited by Angie in TX on Jun 4 2007, 12:47 PM

My sister was in your place. He'd been telling her he was leaving his wife, yada yada yada. Then she got pregnant and all of a sudden, "Oh, I was going to tell you, I'm staying with my wife and we're trying to work it out." She's a single mom now. Not saying that this will happen, but know that most men who cheat once, will cheat again. And also, they tend to stay with their wives. I know that one from personal experience.
I do wish you the best of luck. Whatever the outcome, we're an understanding group.

I am just speechless. I don't know what to tell you. He decided to have a child with you while he was still married to someone else?

I hope I won't be in that boat! I'll be completely heartbroken. But, in any case, I really feel I'm so blessed to be a Mother. My baby will come first, so right now I need to concentrate on getting my degree so I can provide for my little angel to be.

In short, yes. We started off as casual friends, but he really seemed to understand my every thought. It became something quite serious, and a year into it, he came clean.

I know it's not so good of a quality, but as I said, I fell in love with him. He finally did tell the truth, and now he says he is in the process of filing.

I believe you should tell him the truth about the baby. If he isn't going to leave his wife, he's not going to leave, period. If you wait til he actually does and then spring it on him that you are pg, it might not be what he wanted (the baby) and then where are you at? KWIM?

First off, you've come to an advice board and asked for some, which by definition means you're asking for our judgment at the same time you ask us not to judge. See the position I'm in here? I think you're asking us not to judge that you're sleeping with a married man. I'm sorry, but that's simply impossible. It's morally, ethically and socially wrong for you to do this. Further, you're being unrealistic in thinking he will divorce his wife. He has the best of both worlds - a wife and home and a mistress for intercourse whenever his wife isn't his desired fantasy.

You may think that by becoming pregnant, you will force him to decide on his wife or you. He'll choose his wife, though she won't accept such a thing so easily. I can almost guaranty that by doing this you will ruin your relationship and destroy his marriage. Am I absolving him of wrong-doing? No, he's worse - taking advantage of a younger girl because he can't be happy in his current relationship. He's a loser. You won't win him by telling him about your pregnancy, though. He is, however, at least as responsible for the pregnancy as you, so do what you must. Make him help pay for the child he has conceived with you.

Well I am giong to give my 2 cents worth at risk of being judged.......I have not been in your exact situation but when I was single I dated a man who was seperated - then he wasn't then he was........guess who got hurt? ANyways, in the end he never left her and I was alone. You truly can't help who you fall in love with - I guess that is what I am trying to say.

If you are carrying his child - I think he has every right to know.....then deal with the consequenses after that I suppose. He may be thrilled and he may not, but I think he should know

Hi and welcome to the board. Blessings on your baby to be.
I fear for your future with a man that waited a full year to "come clean." I would advise you to continue pursuing your degree, concentrate on a healthy pg, and plan for your future as a single mom. If he winds up in the picture, it's gravy, but I sure wouldn't count on it.

And yes, I would go ahead and tell him about the baby, but in the end, you need to create your own destiny. Don't wait for his reaction to your news to plan for your future. Make your own decisions- forgive me but he really doesn't sound like someone in whom I'd feel comfortable putting my complete faith and trust.

In my experience i have to say that Ed is right here..........

BUT to stay on topic she wasn't asking if we think he would leave his wife - she was asking if she should tell him about the baby...........

How far along are you???

In my experience i have to say that Ed is right here..........

BUT to stay on topic she wasn't asking if we think he would leave his wife - she was asking if she should tell him about the baby...........

How far along are you???

Actually the topic is, and I quote, "Since today is a day of revelations, here is mine!"

I don't think my reply was out of line. A bit acerbic perhaps, but definitely on topic.

I'm sorry. I'll take my questions elsewhere for now.

In my experience i have to say that Ed is right here..........

BUT to stay on topic she wasn't asking if we think he would leave his wife - she was asking if she should tell him about the baby...........

How far along are you???

Actually the topic is, and I quote, "Since today is a day of revelations, here is mine!"

I don't think my reply was out of line. A bit acerbic perhaps, but definitely on topic.

Oh certainly - you always have great replies and i do agree with what you are saying!!!!

You are a very valuable member!

I have been on his wife's side of this. There was not a pregnancy involved, but he did want to "work things out" between the two of us. I left.

I think regardless if he is going to leave his wife or not, you should tell him about your pregnancy. You said that you two decided to have a child together 6 months ago, so he apparently wants to.

The last thing I would ever do is judge you, and I really hope everything works out the way that you want it to.

Angie, I understand that perhaps you aren't reading what you expected. Perhaps you were looking for universal support? I don't know, but I'm not real good at blowing sunshine into places where it normally doesn't shine. I've said what's on my mind, and I'm not going to drag it all out.