Anyone want to discuss?

[cameragirl21]

So it's been very quiet here lately and a subject came up that I'd love to get some parents' opinions on.
This story http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2011/11/13/fam...-girls-suicide/ about a ten year old girl who killed herself due to bullying has me wondering something--why the sudden spate of suicides among children who are bullied?
I grew up in the 80s and 90s and I recall plenty of bullying going on...some say that the recent suicides are due to Facebook, Twitter, etc, which enable a gang style bully session after hours, thereby meaning that bullying is not limited to school time but as I said, I recall plenty of bullying going on, on the school bus, on the playground after school, etc.
One girl rode my bus who was rather quiet and demure but for some reason the boys all called her "big nose" even though I never thought that she had a particularly big nose. She lived close to the school and they constantly harassed her about why she didn't just walk instead of riding the bus.
I went to school with another girl who was super morbidly obese, which is common among kids today but was literally a circus back when I was a kid and she really got it in the hallways, etc.
But I never heard of any kid contemplating or committing suicide over this. I'm sure it happened here and there but it seems to be more and more common nowadays, which I find bothersome and frightening.
Your thoughts?

[Nina J]

I think it has a lot to do with social media - bullying no longer ends when you go back to the safety of your own home.

I also think that kids are using language and statements that are cruel. Back in my school days, the worst insult I recall my fellow 10 year olds knowing was things like you mentioned - big nose, why don't you walk to school...I recall kids teasing others because of their hair.

Nowadays, kids that young can and do tell there classmates to go home and kill themselves. A lot of these recent suicides seem to occur in children who have been repeatedly told to kill themselves, who have been called worthless by their peers, who have been taunted with foul language and with statements you'd be shocked to hear come out of the mouths of adults, let alone children. And sadly, children are left thinking the only viable option is suicide. The bullying goes on for too long, without anyone knowing or stepping in. It's tragic.

I do think there has been a rise in bullying related suicides, but I also think there has been a rise in how much we hear about it. Whatever the reasons, this needs to stop. There needs to be more awareness and accountability, not just among the younger generation but across the whole of society. Where are the parents, whose children are taunting others via phones and the internet? If I ever found out one of my children told another person to go kill themselves, I'd be absolutely livid and immediately let her know that there are consequences for that kind of behaviour.

[Hillbilly Housewife]

I think that maybe part of the reason this is on the rise is that there is so much more accessibility to taboo subjects by means of various media.

20 years ago, if you heard that someone had committed suicide, the general consensus was that that person was a coward, weak, must have had some really serious issues... and it was NOT talked about. It was like some serious crime was committed rather than a tragedy, and it was swept under the rug with other issues like substance abuse, AIDS, mental illnesses...

now that these issues are part of the "curriculum", so to speak, they are more mainstream. The focus is on awareness, and providing support and help for those who are brave enough to reach out for it... and when a tragedy occurs, it is used as an example for others of "what not to do". I'm not explaining that properly I'm sure... and I surely don't want to come across as bashing someone who has or has considered committing suicide... I'm just trying to say that people who do commit suicide are front and center on the news front, and more and more kids are aware of that scenario.

That may be one cause for bullying among kids to be pushed to that extreme.

I was pretty severely bullied when I was young... I lived on military bases, had olive skin (which was darker than most other Caucasians where I grew up), was kind of chunky, had thick glasses, frizzy hair... I had my share of taunts. One of their favorite nicknames for me was Chia Pet.

Anyway... Emilie, who will be 8 in December, is kind of chunky. She gets teased a little bit about it... as for her curly hair... she hates it. I humor her and straighten it for her regularly... and I do curl mine to show her that she's not alone... I show her pictures of me when I was young and oogly, and she has realized on her own that people's looks can change as they get older. Not to sound as if i'm on a high horse or anything, but I don't think I'm anywhere near oogly at this point in time...

If I ever catch one of the other kids bugging her, though, I can guarantee that kid will have my foot up their butt so deep my toes will tickle their sinuses.

[grapfruit]

I think I agree with what Nina said.

I think it has to do with our society (and young kids) becoming more jaded. The "worthless" and "good for nothing" etc taunts are different than being teased about your name, nose, clothes, hair etc.

Worthless goes to the soul, you get told on a regular basis that you're worthless and you begin to believe it. Ask my DH. He was an adult getting told that on a job site for about 2 years. He could barely get out of bed in the morning to go to work. He hated life, hated himself, FELT worthless. Finally he "snapped" told them to F off and quit/got fired. Thank goodness, b/c he's NOT worthless.

My question is how do we combat this?

My niece posted a status on FB (she's 12): The girl you just called fat... She's overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly... She spends hours putting on makeup hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped... He's abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars... He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying... His mother is dying. Put this as your status if your against bullying. I bet 95% of you wont re-post this, but I'm sure the people with a heart and backbone will.

My response: Remember, putting something like this in your status isn't what takes heart and backbone, it's being in a crowded school hallway when the teasing/bullying is going on and saying "stop!" and standing up for the other person

[~Roo'sMama~]

I agree with what's already been said too. I'm not sure how we can fix the way things are now, but it makes me really sad, and really afraid for my kids! I just found out that one of my teenage nieces said some awful things about another girl on twitter and as a result the police ended up going to my nieces house to talk to her, and she just blew it off as no big deal. She said it wasn't as bad as some of the things the other girl has said about her, but that doesn't matter and she doesn't seem to get it.

[youngmomofone]

I agree it's because of phones, twitter, facebook, etc. Used to, once you got off that bus or in your parent's car, you had the rest of the day/night to be left alone. Now, there seems to be no break at all.