"Best friend" issues, kinda long..sorry

So I have this friend "d". we have been friends since we were 4. D has always been a little...umm..bossy, snobby and dramatic. I have been ok with her for a while because she has been away at college and i didn't have to deal with her much so short and sweet corospondance has been ideal. She got married here last year and maybe 6 months before her wedding she started to change.
Lemmie preface this next part by saying that i am severly unreligous. I respect others religous beliefs. and as long as they arnt pushed on me im gravy with whatever.
This being said. D has been blaitently unreligous for years..like for forever. Since she is half jewish and half christian she has never choosen to lay claim to any real realigon. But her husband dan has been a christian man. Goes to church on sunday and says prayer at dinner. I've never had any problem with him and he has never overstepped his bounds with me. we have mutual respect.
now that they are married it's church every sunday and yada yada... But she has become very overstepping with her "egerness" to share every little thing she does in church, emails me surmons and tried every tactic in the book to drag me there. NOT COOL.
That is berrier number one.
Number two is the goes back to this bossy, stuck up trait of hers.
There is a reson I dont have big birthday parties or go out very much with my friends and this is exactly why. D has critisized and picked to pieces of all my friends. My friend who is a single mother as well is "below me". my 45 year old single girlfriend is "needy and needs to get her act together". Now both of these friend have bust their tushies to get to where they are. do not have the same family support as D and I are lucky to have. Everytime she is arround at them she ignores them compleately. Every one of my friends she treats like this.
She treats the men in my life alot worse. She is a flat out witch to them. Took her a year to be nice to lars. even then.. It's just getting really old and she hates Jon because he finally stood up to her. she isnt talking to me now because of that one.
I have mentioned griped about her here before. I'm just trying to decide if this is all really worth it anymore. The only reason we really talk at this point is because her mom and my mom are best friends. I've tried to be supportive for her, even threw her really hard moments and threw people she has hung out with and situations i wasnt fond of. I just feel I can understand an addition to a drug or that kind of issue where she needs to draw a line to protect me. But this is crazy.
what would you do?

This post has been edited by luvbug00 on Feb 10 2010, 09:55 AM

Its possible you 2 have grown apart. Maybe it is just time to cut your losses and end it peacefully.
If not, sounds like you may need to have a frank talk about boundaries, and be real clear about what is and is not cool with you.

i have a situation sorta like yours. i have this friend i've known for years. we used to be really close when we were growing up but the last several years we rarely even talk to each other anymore. it's not that i don't care about her anymore or anything it's just that well 1. we've grown apart and 2. there are things that she's chosen to do in her life that i don't agree with (major things not just small differences.). i still visit her mom now and then so if i happen to see her over there or somewhere else we talk and do a bit of 'catching up' but it's not like i actively seek out to get ahold of her or anything. i view it like this, once you've known someone for that many years they become more like family than just a 'friend' so ya can't really just cut all ties so the best thing is to just view them as you would say a loud mouthed, obnoxious cousin (or sister, brother, aunt, uncle or whomever) that makes you miserable. sure ya gotta be polite at the family get togethers where you smile, talk about old times and promise to keep in touch but no one ever really expects you to do so.

I am curious; does she have many other friends? If not, is this why you have remainded friends with her? I am trying to understand why you would want to hang around someone like you describe.

Just because you have been friends since you are 4 is no reason for you to allow someone to mistreat you and/or those you are close to. It sounds like it is time to let her fade away and find new friends who share her new passion.

she knows a gabillion people. She aslo has quite a few friends. So shes deffinately not lacking in connections. I just feel like i have to be her friend because the last time i gave her a talking to and we cut contact both our mothers got super upset and forced us to hang out again. (talk about peer pressure) Basically i did it to just shut the moms up.
i'm trying to back up slowly this time. last night even she wanted me over so i would make church today. I told her no thank you and reminded her gently that that isnt my thing. She just gave me a look and said well ok.

All I know for sure is you have to do what is right for you, no matter what Mom says or some goofy girl with a dancing Hobbes as her avatar ....

i love love love CAlvin and Hobbes!! he is my FAVORITE childhood cartoon. Got every book, collection, you name it. would even ponder naming my kid hobbes..lol!

Me too, probably needless to say!

If I were you, talk to her frankly what you feel about her attitude and stuffs like that. Don't bother what your mom is saying. If you don't want to be friends with her anymore that won't be a problem I guess. It's your decision. If you see each other just be civil or casual with her.