just a question, just a question

i just want some opinions on this please. my ex and i are going to court cause he wants to see his daughter who is now 11 months old. now the reason why i didnt let him see her in the beginning was because of the fact that he was emotionally abusive to be and yelled at my daughter. he also drinks alot and does drugs alot too. do you know what i should do. please let me know.

First of all, he used to yell at her? And now she's 11 months old, so she must of been really young when he did that.

Do you know if he is sober now? How long has he been clean off the drugs & alcohol? And is he continuing to get help for it?

I would not feel comfortable having him watch your daughter, unless it's supervised visits. And I would request a drug test at the next court hearing. You need to make sure he is clean & sober, before you trust him to take care of your daughter. And why all of a sudden does he want to be involved?

I know that having both parents involved in the child's life is wonderful...if...they are both stable, caring, and nuturing. But if you have any doubts that he hasn't changed, and isn't stable, then No I would never allow that. If anything, I would only allow supervised visits.

it was my oldest daughter that he was yelling at and at that time she was only 4 years old . and you are right i dont trust him and if he is going to have visitations im going to be there cause she doesnt know him what so ever. and as for the drug tests and all im so having him take one. i dont trust him with anything.

I think that is something that you should bring up before court. If you have a mediator you can confide in, I would tell them. Or if you have an attorney- I would tell them. Bottom line, bring it up so that it would be in the records & documented. And the judge will be able to make a decision based on all the information presented.

i have a lawyer and all and yes he does know everything so i hope it all goes well for me

P&PT's for you during this.

Good luck, I'm glad he wants to be "involved" but for the childs sake hope it's limited/supervised in the beginning.

Oh my god it sounds so much like my son's dad!! Sure there not the same person??

Hope that it all goes well for you, xx

GOOD LUCK

After all that went on in court and he knows hes the father his mother put that he isnt the father in his head and now he wants a dna... oh well once he knows that its his and he can tell his mom then he will be happy i guess. the only thing i have to do now is go back again

I know this thread is rather old but in case someone else reads it I thought I point something out. I just went through a similar battle with my wife. My advice is to focus on the things that broke you up in the first place. Don't lose sight of that. It is so easy to get caught up in the present (which is fine on one hand), but don't let that distract you from the fact that unless the ex-spouse can prove they've solved the past problems that led to the break up (abuse, drug, alcohol, etc.), you've got a pretty good case to either restrict or deny visitation rights in the present.