Are you in a loveless marriage?

No, we're not

This Sept we will be married 25 years and a lot of hard work to make it this far LOL but its well worth it

I voted no, because we are not together anymore. We gave it our best shot, (several times) but it didn't work. So we are done for good now.

I'm so happy to hear that Karen. Good for you!

On the OP...totally not loveless. I think we have more love than most people actually. Sure we have our issues, but who doesn't? I will not allow anything to destroy our marriage. Troy is my best friend, my rock, and my soulmate. It is a 3-way marriage...me, Troy, and God, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

This post has been edited by Boo&BugsMom on Feb 5 2008, 12:48 PM

I'm so happy to hear that Karen. Good for you!

Thanks Jennie. I hope we make it through last year's "storm". We are trying really hard and we both want to make it work and I know I'm a lot happier now than what I was.

Lisa did all the work. It's been a cake walk for me.

No, we are still absolutely crazy in love!

Nope, we are still very much in love

Yes and no. It's odd, really. We are married. We sleep in the same bed.. we are intimate together.. we both talk to each other and communicate etc... and although we love each other we're not IN love with each other. There's other people involved, and I've come to terms with that... we're still married / great friends and if it was any less "good" between us then we wouldn't be living together, but it's convenient, easier, and for the time being we have no emotional reason not to still be in the same house as we still get along well and have the kids interests at heart.

Smooth - very smooth...


I think part of the problem with our culture is that we think we're supposed to feel like we felt while we were dating for the rest of our lives. That just doesn't happen.

I love my husband very much. And he drives me absolutely crazy alot of the time. We just came through our first rough spell - the first time I had ever even thought about a life without him even though I never truly considered divorce - and I've realized more than ever that the key to any relationship is communication. When we don't talk and just live our own lives then we end up resenting each other and misinterpreting each other and feeling uninvested in the relationship. We took a night away and really talked (and slept - sleep deprivation is not good for a marriage either! ) and now I feel like things are back to normal. My heart doesn't pitter patter when he walkes through the door but I'm not sure my heart would beat at all if he didn't walk through - ya know?

Wait, so y'all have an open marriage, for lack of a better word?

Sorry, I am just curious. Feel free not to answer me.

I'm so happy to hear that Karen. Good for you!

On the OP...totally not loveless. I think we have more love than most people actually. Sure we have our issues, but who doesn't? I will not allow anything to destroy our marriage. Troy is my best friend, my rock, and my soulmate. It is a 3-way marriage...me, Troy, and God, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Awww, that's a really sweet way to say it

Anyhow, I voted no too. We have our ups and downs, like most people do, but overall we have it pretty darn good. I can also honestly speak to the fact that we are still IN love with each other as well, which is something that requires work, trust, and a million other things, but its something I'm very grateful for.

Wait, so y'all have an open marriage, for lack of a better word?

Sorry, I am just curious. Feel free not to answer me.

yeah, I guess for lack of a better term...I guess we do.

We just hit a wall.. and didn't get over it. Rather than divorce.. we settled things this way. I love him, I want him to be happy, and if having a girlfriend makes him happy, then who am I to stand in his way, he's a good father, a great friend... and although he's in a 2nd relationship, he still puts his family first, always, and aside from the fact that he's got a gf... that's what counts.

We had issues previously...we worked on them.. we have a great relationship now. It's really strange. I wold have NEVER EVER thought to be in this situation... but I am, and am dealing with it the best I can.

Feel free to ask any questions.

Wait, so y'all have an open marriage, for lack of a better word?

Sorry, I am just curious. Feel free not to answer me.

yeah, I guess for lack of a better term...I guess we do.

We just hit a wall.. and didn't get over it. Rather than divorce.. we settled things this way. I love him, I want him to be happy, and if having a girlfriend makes him happy, then who am I to stand in his way, he's a good father, a great friend... and although he's in a 2nd relationship, he still puts his family first, always, and aside from the fact that he's got a gf... that's what counts.

We had issues previously...we worked on them.. we have a great relationship now. It's really strange. I wold have NEVER EVER thought to be in this situation... but I am, and am dealing with it the best I can.

Feel free to ask any questions.

Very interesting. If I can ask questions...do you ever have intimate relations with anyone else and would he be ok with it? Do the kids have any idea? Have you seen her? If you dont want to tell me just tell me to Zip it.

Smooth - very smooth...


I think part of the problem with our culture is that we think we're supposed to feel like we felt while we were dating for the rest of our lives. That just doesn't happen.

I love my husband very much. And he drives me absolutely crazy alot of the time. We just came through our first rough spell - the first time I had ever even thought about a life without him even though I never truly considered divorce - and I've realized more than ever that the key to any relationship is communication. When we don't talk and just live our own lives then we end up resenting each other and misinterpreting each other and feeling uninvested in the relationship. We took a night away and really talked (and slept - sleep deprivation is not good for a marriage either! ) and now I feel like things are back to normal. My heart doesn't pitter patter when he walkes through the door but I'm not sure my heart would beat at all if he didn't walk through - ya know?

I wanted to say that is so true. I am totally in love with jacob but its just different than before the kids but that doesnt mean I love him any less just in a diff way.

Wait, so y'all have an open marriage, for lack of a better word?

Sorry, I am just curious. Feel free not to answer me.

yeah, I guess for lack of a better term...I guess we do.

We just hit a wall.. and didn't get over it. Rather than divorce.. we settled things this way. I love him, I want him to be happy, and if having a girlfriend makes him happy, then who am I to stand in his way, he's a good father, a great friend... and although he's in a 2nd relationship, he still puts his family first, always, and aside from the fact that he's got a gf... that's what counts.

We had issues previously...we worked on them.. we have a great relationship now. It's really strange. I wold have NEVER EVER thought to be in this situation... but I am, and am dealing with it the best I can.

Feel free to ask any questions.

Very interesting. If I can ask questions...do you ever have intimate relations with anyone else and would he be ok with it? Do the kids have any idea? Have you seen her? If you dont want to tell me just tell me to Zip it.

Well since he told me that he wanted a "relationship" with her, I had a little bit of a breakdown, but have since accepted it.. it could be in the picture for me... He says he would be ok with it, and is kind of encouraging me to pursue it.. but it's not my focus, and not something I intend to plan... if I meet someone I emet someone, but I'm not looking to meet anyone.

yes, I've seen her. Actually, I know her quite well. I'm ok with it. Well, as ok as I can be. To be honest.. I'd rather of anyone, it be her.. BECAUSE I know her. At least I know she's not some drugged out slut, you know? She has feelings for him, and he for her...

No, the kids have no idea. He doesn't take time away from the kids to go see her. And she does not come here other than to socialize..when he have others as well. None of our friends know, either. It's difficult sometimes to see them both in the same room and exchange a secret look..still breaks my heart. But I suck it up.

I have a new respect for you. I could not do that. You really love him, maybe more than yourself??? I did not mean that it a bad way. If you are ok with it then noone should judge.

I do. He's my best friend.. my soulmate. I want him happy. If that means I have to share.. then so be it.

Thanks for the kind words.

I gotta be honest and I am not judging but asking because you are IN this situation but at what price are you doing this to yourself? This is someone who comes into YOUR home, with YOUR family and you just "suck it up"? At some level this has to affect you and I can't imagine that that is better than the alternative - you are sacrificing everything about yourself for him - IMO and again I don't mean to sound judgmental but that is sad and I feel sorry for you - in a real way I do feel sorry for you I do hope your children NEVER find out about it at ANY time in their life because that is a message I wouldn't want my kids to get about marriage....

Thats an awesome way to put it, and its how i feel about my husband too!!!

Rocky You are definitely a stronger woman than I am I don't honestly know if I could do that!!

I know, I know. It's not the ideal situation...but it is what it is.. and we'll surpass it eventually... either it will end in divorce because he will be better off with her.. or this is a phase that we will get through.

Either way... it is what it is...and I can either be pissed off and leave... and deprive my kids of their father all for MY hurt feelings.. or I can suck it up and do what's best, right NOW, for my family... which is that my kids need both their parents.

Yes, it IS sad. It's quite pathetic actually. That's life. Life's unfair. Sh*t happens. you either deal with it..or run away. i'm just dealing. I'm not willing to throw away our marriage just yet.

Thats an awesome way to put it, and its how i feel about my husband too!!!

Rocky You are definitely a stronger woman than I am I don't honestly know if I could do that!!

Me too. Dh is the only one I want.

There are many people who look the other way. At least Rocky is dealing with it and accepting it. I do agree about the kids though..there will be a day when it will come up.

You love him very much and I think a little more then a friend too
Bc if not it wouldnt have hurt so much to see that look of exchange

You love him very much and I think a little more then a friend too
Bc if not it wouldnt have hurt so much to see that look of exchange

Yes..I love him enough to let him go.

Hurts like hell though

Certainly not for me to judge - my life, my marriage isn't always perfect but I just don't get the message you are really sending your kids and I pray they never figure it out

We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.