trust issues

So as you all know i have had pure awful luck in dating. liers and cheaters. I have been truely damaged by all of the previous men. This time I want to trust Jon. I want to believe he is good and honest. Inside it feels right. I just find myself always looking for the signs of doom. It's like i am preparing myself for a letdown. I look at his actions and in both big and small ways he is helpful and kind to me. His words are always blunt.( for me this indicates honesty, because liers tend to overindulage their stories.) so I was wondering if you guys have any advice on how to calm my issues.

First GO SLOW!!!!!

Second be honest with him

I totally agree

could it be possible that you are not ready for a new relationship at this time?

no. I want to be in a relationship. especialy with jon. I will never get over what the others did to my trust when it comes to men in romatic relationships. But as individuals it's differant. two of my best friends are male and i trust them 100%. Jon i feel comfortable with but i'm just learning to see him as an individual, like my friends. I think if i can get him on their level i will be much more at ease. You want your husband to be your best friend anyway right?

Yes Ma'am!!!

I'm in the same boat. I just decided that I'm not over all the ex did and im better off single until I am. I'm too bitter right now, and it's been 3 years

Yes its a tough situation to be in. I have been hurt badly by a couple ex's and then from jenna's dad for sure. I still get hurt by him just not as badly. I have learned that I need to let go of my past with my ex's to even be able to move on. because if i just sit and wait for my current bf to lie to me then it will make the relationship turn bad. Marcus came along and i was always wondering is he for real? is he lieing?when will be the time he bolts? and because of that he did feel as if he wasnt good enough for me. I had to learn to let go and trust him. I thought well the worst that will happen is ill get hurt but i cant just wait for it to happen. I started to trust him and the relationship grew and developed. And it turned into a dream come true! as hard as it is you have to try to trust him. because jon could be the one guy that will treat you liek gold and mya as well and you may have that happy ever after! BUT keep it slow, dont rush it, it will happen if its meant to be. Dont worry nadya you will eb able to trust him for sure. BUT before you are able to trust him and not wonder what if i get hurt, im just waiting to get hurt, etc mya shoudl not be put into the pic( you probably knew that) because of the both of you she will get hurt the most...

I too would ask myself if I am really ready - wanting to be in a relationship and being ready to take that risk again are two separate issues.

That aside, as long as his last name isn't Gosselin then, as stated above, either you take a chance or you don't and all you can do is be honest with him and hope he returns that. There are good honest men out there for sure and hopefully you have discovered one of them.


This post has been edited by msoulz on Sep 13 2009, 09:15 PM