Help with eating

I am still working thru the CIO with andrew. We are only on day three.
but I cant get him to eat. I have tried everything and he wont stop the bottles.
Can anyone think of anything else to try?

I am giving him a sippy as soon as he opens his eyes..but he takes one sip and throws it then crys and crys..until he get his bottle. I have tried putting him at the table with the other kids in the morning when they eat and giving him the same thing but he throws it on the floor.
he doesnt really even try anything.
I can hold the bottle off in the morning usually until about 1 1/2 hour after waking. and I give in because he is inconsolable.
then during the day I keep offering him foods, good foods and junk..just to get him to get used to a solid in his mouth..but today he ate one bite banana, one bit of a pear and then two bites of choc chip cookie and thats it. He wants either cold milk or else the drinkable yogurt.

I have been holding back the bottles so he isnt getting what he was, but he is constantly crying right now..mostly tired but he has to be hungry too.
so he is drinking right now about 16 ounces of fluid during the day with baby rice cereal in it for bulk..

Stacy,

I know I haven't been here in a long time so I'm not up-to-date on things....how old is Jake again? Sorry my brain doesn't work well these days. And I assume he won't take a sippy? Will he drink from a regular cup? I know Megan used to tantrum regarding sippys if she couldn't get the milk out of it? Is that a possibility? Have you tried a straw cup? That's the only cup Kylie would ever take for the longest time. ((HUGS))

Okay, mean mommy here.

Don't give in. Let him scream. He is playing you like a fiddle. Every time you give in it sets the bar a little higher for him the next time. So, just walk away, or put him in his crib or something. He has 3 full days before he dies of dehydration, and I bet he gives in way before that.

Personally, I would keep offering him sippys, and food like you have been doing, and he will eat when he gets hungry enough. At that age my kids threw their food then I took it as a sign that they were done eating and removed the food from them. Thats it, no other food until the next meal. My children did not die of starvation, and they don't throw food.

Ugh. aren't battle of the wills wonderful? Nothing makes you feel like a wonderful mommy like a good old fashioned temper tantrum.

Karen, Its not Jakob that wont eat, or let go of the bottle, he is 3
its andrew
I am not sure if I had him when you were here last. He is 16 mnths old.
and going thru a hard time right now. we are in the middle or beginning of CIO.
he is very dependant, wont self sooth and really clingy.
we are trying to get him to sleep alone and also move away from bottles on our peds suggestion. He is not eating and drinking way to much milk.

I know it's hard, but if you continue to give him the bottle he's going to continue to cry until he gets it again. I would get rid of them all and tell him there are no more bottles. He WILL eat when gets hungry enough, even though it'll be tough on you to hear him cry so much.

He's not eating because he knows you're going to give in and give him his bottle.

Best thing you can do is throw them away. Otherwise the problems are going to continue and possibly worsen.

ETA: You need to get rid of them for YOU as well. You guys (as the parents)are way too dependent on these bottles as well. Sorry just IMO.

This post has been edited by Calimama on Jan 20 2009, 01:27 PM

Yeah, I was here when you had Andrew. I knew that too, but typed Jake. I guess all our talk about Megan and Jake lately kept his name in my mind.

I can't offer any advice on CIO as I've not done it, but I do have a question for you. How much milk does he drink? I'm curious because since milk is about all Megan WILL drink we let her drink it. I've never had any of her doctors say she drinks too much milk and they know it's really her only liquid source. In comparison to her, I think Kylie doesn't drink enough, but I guess if there is a such thing as too much milk, then Kylie probably drinks enough.

ETA: Good luck.

This post has been edited by coasterqueen on Jan 20 2009, 01:29 PM

I have to agree thow them all away or have him do it either way get rid of them. yes its going to be hard but do it, he wont stop until he knows he wont get one. Offer sippy, regular cup or straw cups, I had better success with the straw cups than sippys at first cust she just did not get it. keep snacks out for him to graze on, cheerios or what ever he can have, Kaitlin used to LOVE Gerber wagon wheels, the veggie ones, she hated the fruit ones. Kaitlin dinks alot of milk as well and if not watched she will fill up on it rather than her meal, so I have to keep an eye on that.

I would say go with Diane's suggestion if you really wanted to go the route of CIO and taking bottles away, but also is it possible you're taking on too much at once, and forcing too much on Andrew all at once?

CIO and taking away bottles ALL together. He is only 16 months, still a baby really so is a bottle really that bad of a thing to have at night or first thing in the morning with his milk? I would get him use to a straw cup with water or juice in during the day, and continue with the CIO during his night wakenings.

Hang in there, when we finally attempted CIO it took a few days before it started to get easier.

ETA:

I don't know what his schedule is, but I would offer him his milk first thing upon wakening, than half hour later to an hour offer him his food, give his tummy time to settle before food.

This post has been edited by CantWait on Jan 20 2009, 02:47 PM

I have to agree here. He knows if he screams enough, he'll get a bottle. And it's true, right? I don't say that to be mean, it's just one of the facts here. I think also the fact that you're putting rice in it might be contributing to him not eating. I know you're concerned about him getting enough calories but if he gets the bottle he wants plus rice in it, I think that has a big role in him not being hungry enough to eat.

What foods are you offerring him? Baby food? Table food? What about sweet things, like instant oatmeal in one of the sweeter flavors? Applesauce? Yogurt (not the drinkable). Scrambled eggs, cheese, waffles (torn into tiny pieces and drizzled with syrup) are all things my kids devoured at that age, have you tried stuff like that?

I am not a fan of CIO. I didnt want to do it. I also was fine with him having bottles.
I took andrew to the dr last tuesday because he was so fussy and hadnt been sleeping well at all. he was exhausted but couldnt sleep..
the dr checked him and said he was 100% healthy..and she said that he has to get some sleep and that she recommended we CIO. then she told me that he was told old for his bottle, that he was at risk for bottle rot, and also that if he cont. he woudl become anemic from the milk and not eating..
although he would graze for me at least back then.

I also think he is to little for all this at once..
he is so frustrated and rebeling. I feel just horrible about it. I have not had one nice moment or smile from him in three or 4 days now.
I hate it!
I am frustrated.

then tonight I found out that he has fifths disease..
i dont know what to do.
thats probably why he was so cranky when he went to the dr and also why he didnt want to eat..and i feel like the worst possible human being for making him CIO when he needed comfort from me..

now i dont know what to do.

How did you find out he has Fifths???

I'm sorry. I know you were just trying to do what's best for him. I think I'd wait until he is healthy and then gradually move onto working with the sippy. Then once that is successful, you could move onto the next thing. You may find that CIO is not necessary once he is feeling better again and using a sippy cup. He may have been sleeping poorly simply because he was not feeling well, and he may be using the bottle as a security item.

You're a good Mom, just trust your own instincts. If CIO doesn't feel right to you, then don't do it because they will sense your apprehension and it won't work. He will eventually self sooth. Ashley was never a great sleeper as a baby but I couldn't do CIO either. But, she sleeps 11-12 hours straight now... there is hope, don't worry he won't go off to college having you rock him to sleep or with a bottle. I know some people swear by CIO and they have great success with it. You have to decide if it's something you really want to do before you start though.

Personally, I also think I'd look for another Ped. I was hesitant to change doctors for myself, but I switched and I am so glad I did. Unfortunately, docs don't have all the answers, and some even give bad advice. It's so hard to know who to listen to and what to do when there is so much conflicting advice out there.

BTW,
When you tried the sippy's, did you take the rubber piece that controls the flow. Ashley wouldn't drink out of the sippy with that piece in it, she couldn't get any milk but did fine without it. It may or may not work, I am just trying to brainstorm and help you come up with some ideas.

Keep us posted, I hope he is feeling better soon.

I am sure its fifths disease, he has the fever of 103 for three days and now 5 days later has the red cheeks that look likes someone slapped him. he has been fussy like he has been achey and just at his wits end. I am taking him in to confirm it today, but I am sure.
I remember Jake getting it.

I just want to say, that I am not a fan of CIO, I wouldnt recommend it, but I am doing it with Jens and others help. I do think he wasnt sleeping at all. He had gone two months with waking every hour. He also was grazing so little, but now I see that, that was better then nothing. He is good with a sippy. He knows how to use and can do it successfully, he just has chosen not to.
I use the nuby ones, and he likes it, he also has taken Jakes sippy for many months and taken sips..
so I know its not from lack of knowledge of how to use it.
I truely felt that his health was affected by not sleeping.

I will also report that last night, I had decided to stop CIO, but andrew wouldnt have it. he faught the old routine and we ended up putting him in the crib mad and screaming at us, and he immediately laid down and went to sleep. he slept 4 hours then woke up once and cried out one noise and then went right back to sleep..
he is was fine and is sleeping longer this morning then ever..
so it appears andrew wasnt to CIO..as weird as that is..

He also ate about 2 tbs pf spag. last night for me.

so we are hanging in there..

Isnt' that GREAT! I knew it would work. You're doing fantastic.

As for the bottle and eating, I'm really not sure what to tell you. I know I'd be concerned too but I still say throw out the bottles....if they are not there, caving in is not an option. GL honey!

I hope Andrew gets feeling better, Stacy.

I'm glad that last night went a little better and hope that it continues. Just remember to go with your gut, whether it's CIO or not. Also remember, and I know I sound like a broken record, but this WILL pass like Dee Dee said. I look back on Kylie and how she didn't sleep for the first three years of life and how difficult life was to function, go to work every day, care for her, etc without sleep. Then I get Megan who wasn't as difficult to sleep but has other difficulties and I swear every day I have to remind myself that SOME DAY this will pass and we won't struggle with Megan's issues anymore.

I wish I could offer you more help on the eating, but I know you've struggled with this and I continue to as well. Eating is a battleground in our home as I'm sure it is yours. Keep your chin up......it will get better in time. At least that is what Dh keeps telling me.

I'm so glad to hear that he is sleeping better and at least eating something. 4 hours and some spaghetti is a start!

I hope you don't think I was criticizing you for CIO becasue that was not the case at all. I don't think there is one right or wrong way to parent, no judgement here... just support. It just sounded like you were not sure you wanted to CIO and I wanted to let you know there is hope without CIO as well. But, you know what is best for your family, and whatever you decide, I just wish you all the best.

I hope he's feeling better soon.

In spite of everything, last night sounds like some great progress!

A few things that just come to mind....
I had 2 kids both with illness's (my older one got seizures, my younger one has horrible reflux) and one thing I did learn through it all was that sleep helped them stay healthy, eat healthy and be healthy.......I think you are beating yourself up over calling it CIO, and thinking of it as CIO, while there were and are times both my boys are left to CIO a little, the BIGGEST thing is to change your focus from "method" to "end result"....in the end, you want him to sleep and eat. At 16 months they will not eat right if they don't sleep however they are past the age of not sleeping right because they did not eat.....I suggest once he is better you take a big breath, have hubby watch the kids, go out with a pen and paper and write down what you want to have happen as an end result. You know sleeping nights is one of them, as for naps....TRUST YOUR GUT, if he is not ready for 1 then do 2. Write down what you "have" to do - e.g. pick up the kids from school and back it up from there....you know at 16 months he needs a good 12 hour night and a good 3 hours of sleep in the day. If you have to pick the kids up at 2:45, you need him up at 2:30....a good 1.5 hour nap or 2 hours would mean you need to put him down at 12:30 or 12:45....one thing to remember is that despite how it goes against all that we know as common sense, ALWAYS, ALWAYS put a child down earlier than you think...if they are fussing and CIO for long periods it is almost 100% that they are too tired not that they are not tired enough....if you sit down with the plan clearly on what you want your day to look like, you are not second guessing yourself all day and beating yourself up....

A few other things that I found helped....I NEVER feed the boys before going to bed, always upon waking, they learn to not think of milk as soothing....also, you can move times around as much as you need to to match him....for example, my little guy's day is like this:

Wake up at 6:30 - eats
Nap at 8:15 until 10:15 or 10:30 - eats
Lunch at noon
Nap at 12:30 until 2:30
Bedtime at 6pm...

We don't have to use CIO very often at ALL because we try our damndest to NEVER miss a nap time or a bedtime until we KNOW that they are routine enough to handle the change......just focus on keeping on schedule....

Just remember that as much as he DOES of COURSE need hugs, and comfort etc. it is also JUST as important for us to make sure that there basic physical needs are met too, like eating and sleep....just wanted to hopefully relieve you of some of the guilt of approaching this as one way or the other, CIO or not, there is a way of thinking that will allow you to sleep better as well

thank you for your really nice post

Hey I know its quite difficult to handle such situations.Being mothers we often struggle on the eating patterns of the child. You can try some diversions when he screams for that.and gradually you can develop a habit in him...try to offer different types of food.This must help.

Being strict with kids can be OK but at times it lead to worsen the situation. They become much more rude and can even think of you as a monster.....

This post has been edited by Jamison'smama on Oct 16 2011, 05:37 PM