Sons teacher, inappropriate comments?

[sheila]

I've posted this on another board, but I'm posting it here too in the hope of some advice...

The other day my son was talking to his dad, and somehow the conversation got around to his teacher… well apparently she makes a lot of ‘sexual’ jokes and comments. I don’t feel this is appropriate to be honest, but my husband says I’m overreacting (as does one of my friends, whom I’ve talked to); I’d just like to know what people here think. Should I just let it go? I don’t want to cause problems unnecessarily. My son is 14 by the way and in 8th grade.

Just to give you a couple of examples, once some students in the class were talking to each other about being a ‘model’ for a certain sex toy and not only did she not stop the conversation, but she actually asked one of the boys if they would ever consider being such a model!

Another time my son mentioned to his friend that he had had a dream about being kicked out of class by this particular teacher, she overheard him say this and although I don’t know exactly what she said, she made a joke to the class that clearly implied my son having a sexual dream about her.

And yet another time she was mentioning the importance of size in relation to the classwork they were doing, then she completely twisted the meaning and asked them something along the lines of 'so what do you all think, do you think size is important, or is it what you do with it?' These are 13-14 year olds!

Joking or not, this just seems inappropriate to me, and comments like these are a frequent occurrence too. I’d very much like your opinions on what I should do. I'd hate to cause problems at school and I do feel like I AM overreacting, but I really don't agree with her being so unprofessional. Do you think I'm overreacting? Would you be concerned about this or not? What would you do? Any advice would be appreciated.

[mammag]

I know I would find it highly inappropriate if it were one of my kids. I would say something to the principal myself. Just my opinion....

[MommyToAshley]

I have to agree with you, it is totally inappropriate. I would definitely say something to the principal. Teachers are role models for our kids... and what do you think these kinds of jokes are teaching them???!!!

[lisar]

Personally I would go to the school and say something. The size thing is what gets me the most. That is un called for especially when they are 14..

Lisa

[amymom]

If this is the way it is you are NOT overreacting. IMHO you are underreacting. I would be meeting with that teacher right now. This is what I would be doing without hesitation, and my husband would be with me: First, be certain you understood what your son was saying. Second, set up an immediate meeting with the teacher and spell out what you heard and find out what her take on it is. Third go from there. If she denies it all than another conversation with your son needs to be had, if she confirms it then a conversation with her principal needs to be had. THis is totally unacceptable. In my mind this would be unacceptable at any level, college even. Not ok.

I have a 14 yr old and I would be ...... ok I got worked up enough about this. Please let us know the outcome. Thanks.

[ediep]

yes, I think her comments are completely inappropriate. I was a middle school teacher before I had Jason and my boss would probabaly have fired a teacher because of that.

I would go straight to the teacher and set up a conference, but be aware, she may ask for an administrator to be present in the conference. If I were you, I'd also bring my son to the conference so he can "quote" her. Another idea might be to talk with some of the parents of his classmates, and see if any other parents would want to attend the conference.

Good Luck!!

[SOUTHERN MOMMY]

I would go strait to the teacher ASAP that is no way to talk to kids that age. My brother is 17 and one of his teachers showed him and 5 other boys her breast during class. She got fired thank god. My mom was so mad and my dad thought that it was funny.I guess it is just a man thing

[gr33n3y3z]

I think it is very inappropriate to be talking like that to students

[ferocity302]

first off........ the teacher whether she did do it or not will deny it whole heartedly.

Second off....... if you go to the principle..... the principle will say......"oh miss soo an soo is a good teacher and I don't think she would ever do something like that.

I have had a teacher cold face lie in front of the principle about something she said directly to me..... I could imagine what she would deny when it comes to something she said in front of my child.

I would talk to some of the other kids and parents in the class first to see if there is a pattern here or if anyone else has knowledge of such things. If there is other parents it's better that you all go in together so that there is a united front instead of a "he said she said" thing going on.

I'm sorry but I have fought schools my children's whole school life and will continue to stand up for my kids........ I think there are a lot of good teachers that don't get credit for all the good they are doing because there are too many who are doing the wrong thing or administrators that look the other way too much. IMHO

[My2Beauties]

That is very inappropriate and I would have a conference with the principal right away! If they act like it's nothing I would take it to the School Superintendent! I would not stand for this! Totally inappropriate behavior for a teacher if you ask me

[~KARA~]

My english teacher my senior year would talk to us about sex. We were all 17 or 18 yrs old and studying shakespear(which talks about sex quite a bit) This was also 10 years ago but non of the parents ever complained casue the teacher is still there.
I can see where at the age of 14 it would be inapproprate, so I woudl talk to the teacher.

[sheila]

Thanks for the advice everyone. After talking to my son again we (yes I managed to get my husband on board, albeit reluctantly!) have decided to set up a meeting with the teacher to discuss the matter. I'd rather get her perspective on the whole thing to begin with rather than going straight to the principal. Anyway, we'll just have to see how it goes from here. Thanks again.

[mama3x]

I'd be in the principal's office myself first thing if I heard this story about my son's teacher. As long as the approach is non-confrontational, honest, and straightforward, I don't see how anyone could say you're over-reacting.
Go above the principal's head if you have to!