IRS..., hillarious!!

[mckayleesmom]

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS
> auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor
> said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment,
> Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds
> that believable.' I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How
> about a demonstration?' The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
> Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.' The
> auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and
> bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand
> dollars that I can bite my other eye.' Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't
> blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
> The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with
> Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. 'Want to go double or
> nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet y
> ou six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into
> that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.' The
> auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's
> no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa
> stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he
> can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much
> urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he
> has just turned a major loss into a break even. But Grandpa's attorney moans and
> puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,' says
> the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit,
> he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and #@$@ all over
> your desk and that you'd be happy about it.

[PrairieMom]