Ive been thinking...

Ive been thinking a lot about Patricia. Im not sure why, but Im thinking about her more then I do most years around this time. Probably because I’ve been having problems with the ex lately Mostly I remember where I was exactly 6 years from today. I was in a fog, just going through the motions of living, just barely existing really. It was the day after her funeral and we just got her autopsy report back. I was so in shock I didn’t even really notice it. Even today I still haven’t read it. I was completely numb to everything then. I hardly remember the details of her funeral and I could hardly get myself to go. That night was the hardest since I was finally realizing that she was gone. I was so devestated, they even had me spend the night in the hospital since they were afraid what I might do. Does anyone else ever think back to how they felt when they lost their angels?

Yes Always, but expecially right around those dates when i think about it. I always do the i remember that 7 years ago this happened and i remeber when he did this. etc etc etc. An autopsy was done on Jordan as well when he died because of the circumstances around his death and i still have it stored away and only have been able to read through it half way. I think this is just a mechanism for us to get through these dates. This year has been extremely hard on me too and i found it very hard to get through the dates:( this is normal and i think we just go through days and years of worse then the last. Its odd but it happens.

I know this is hard! We just have to try to get through it day by day. sometimes we fall back a couple steps but we always seem to get back those steps next year around... ((((HUGS))))

many hugs for you Donna.

Donna I have no words. If I were there I would give you real

I remember how I felt when I found out I was going to miscarry. In the back of my head I knew that I was because of how much I was bleeding but I held onto hope until the ultrasound tech finally showed me the baby on the screen but and said she couldn't find a heartbeat. It was the most awful feeling I've ever felt - I don't even know how to describe it.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now. Lots of hugs for you Donna!