I need a sleep nazi mommy, Jen or anyone

I need some help.
andrew is 16 months old. he is up every 2hours all night still, crying for a bottle. we have been trying to ween him during the day and he wont..
andrew is tough and stubborn, and honestly being baby number three I am ashamed to admit we got lazy and let him control us..now we are sorry.
today I had him to the dr, after numerous ear infections we assumed this really fussy baby had another..but we were wrong. there is nothing wrong with him except we have spoiled him.
so the dr said along with that..he is drinking to much milk. way to much and if we dont change the habits now, he is going to be anemic. so its time to get tough..
we need some help doing that.
if anyone is interested in helping some sappy, well meaning parents into getting a strong willed child to sleep on his own , self sooth, and let go of the bottle, we sure would be greatful..

if not, I have a really cute 16 month old for sale..

Busy at work right now Stac but I will respond to you tonite!!!!

wow thats a issue huh, what does he do if you ignore him? what do you give him in the bottle? is he wanting to eat or just likes the sucking?

okay questions before some advice.

well andrew was on formula but we got him on the whole milk. so during the day its whole milk and also drinkable yogurt..
and then formula at night because we dont want to take the time to heat whole milk..
and he eats all night and all day, which is why he wont eat, he is full.
if you ignore this little man he immediately starts to cry huge tears and then after about 15 secs. can throw up like mount st helen..I mean every where..its so gross,and curdled milk and yogurt....and you can see why we just give in..
the mess isnt worth the hassel. but now apparently we have no choice..

rarely can we get him back to sleep with out milk..but if it is done then its done with constant rocking.

even during the day, when he doesnt get his way, he crys and then throws up.

Sure I can help......

I dont know where to start?
do I go to kmart and get a large plastic sheet and put it under the crib? so he doesnt ruin my carpet.
do we just cold turkey him?
this is going to be hard.

I would get rid of the bottle cold turkey and get him some nuby sippy cups. He'll drink out of the sippy when he's thirsty enough. Plus if they are out of the house it'll stop you from being able to give in to him.

Once that adjustment settled down, I would stop the milk at night. I would give him all the water he wanted but no milk in the middle of the night. It sounds like it's more for comfort and at 16 months he doesn't need milk every 2 hours IMO.

ETA: Does he eat any solids? I would give him a sippy of water along with his food. Milk will fill him up and then he wont eat and at that age he NEEDS the nutrients from food.

How do you feel about CIO?

This post has been edited by Calimama on Jan 13 2009, 01:05 PM

okay this might seem a bit harsh but next time he throws a major fit place him in the tub, nakked if you can and tell him go a head have your fit, the crying till he throws up is a controll issue that needs to be dealt with asap, I had a nephew who used to do it and they did this a few times then after he woudl throw up they would turn the shower on him and hand him a wash cloth with some mild soap on it and say clean it up, he did not like it one but so the thowing up tanturms slowly stoped.

as for the waking up every 2 hours ther is something bothering him, he does not need the bottle nor the milk.

how does he seem when you go in when he wakes up after 2 hours?

I too thought of the bathtub idea, let him throw a fit and throw up in the tub, just sit there watching him as if it does not phase you.

Just remember YOU are the parent...YOU are the adult, he is a child! It's a complete control issue now.

He does not need milk during the night, and he probably shouldn't have it more than twice a day. He's waking now out of habit, plain and simple. Ditch the bottles....he should be using a sippy, soft tip Nubys will probably be easiest for him transition wise.

I think deep down you know what to do, you just don't want to have to do it...but if you don't now it'll just get harder.

andrew does use a nuby cup for small sips..i keep it out on the table at all times..he doesnt use it as much as i wish he would.
he does eat solids, he used to eat well, baby food, then one day it was like he decided that he didnt want anything mushy..so we went to table food but he hated it..he likes things like chips and pretzels.he eats toast..one day he ate an entire grilled cheese sandwich.
he eats bananas but all this is on occasion..nothing regular..he is 24 pounds so he isnt skinny by any means..
and at 16 mnths I agree he shouldnt have the bottle..
he sleeps in our room in the crib.
we did that because he woke so much we didnt want him to get the other kids up..but we dont sleep. dh and I take turns with him..we dont ever sleep.
I have him till 1am and then dh takes him till 5am when he gets up.
its horrible.
I am fine and think its a good idea to put him in the tub when he starts to throw a fit, but i will have to sit right there so he doesnt get hurt..but do you think that will make him hate his bath? will he associate the tub with bad things..a time out..
we are not a fan of CIO but in this case I think we have no choice. I am going to do what ever i have to .
we always set him at the table with food that we eat too, and eat with him..and he is always given the cup..but i think he knows the bottle will come.

Do you think he would understand if you tell him Jake and Caleb don't use bottles or drink milk at night and now he's a big boy too? Or is that too young, I don't recall . . .

thats what I keep wondering, am I attempting to have a conversation with someone way to young to know what I am doing.
and he is going to be so mad that I am sure he doesnt care what I say.
Its going to be all or nothing. he is really pig headed.

on the bath tub thing, my sister worried out this as well but she used the shower and not a bath, no association with a bath at all bo toys nothing just the shower down on him while he cleans up. yes she sat there with him. sure it was hard but it only took a few times for him to nearly stop.

Oh that makes sense, maybe use a shower or tub different from the one in which he is bathed??

I don't think I agree with the bath thing.........I say ignore the fits and carry on with your business.

One trick i know a friend used... her daughter use to always have milk at night so one night she put a little bit of water in the bottle with the milk and eventually as the nights went on she was diluting it more and then she just refused the milk at night. You can try that.

one thing is cold turkey with the bottle. Thats what i did with jenna. she was almost 2 and still demanded a bottle. So i got those NUBY sippy cps and did that and i refused to give in to the bottle and eventually she used the sippy and only sippy.

waking up every 2 hours is a control thing i think as well. Try CIO. if he throws up then he does. Just clean it up and put him back in he will get it that throwing up will not get his way because thats what he learned. because all he had to do was throw up and you guys just gave in. So he knows.. kids are smarter than we give them credit.

I definately don't agree with the tub thing for a 16 month old child - IMO - older kids maybe but not a 16 month old -

I do agree - go cold turkey with the bottle - just get rid of it - he will drink from the sippy when he is thirtsy - believe me he will.....

As for the sleeping thing - I know its hard because of the other kids but you have to figure out a way to get him in a room of his own. You can't even begin to do CIO or any form of it unless he has a room of his own - he wakes, sees you there he will get up - if he is in his own room then you can do some form of CIO - doesn't have to be let him scream for three hours, puking CIO but you are going to have to be tough and let him CIO - as for the puking thing - he may have to puke on himself and sleep in it (more or less - you know what I mean) for a few nites before he catches on - maybe try to limit the yogurt, milk, etc. so he begins to eat more food - or switch to 2% or even 1% milk - he will not waste away - and after a few days he will begin to realize he has to eat food -

Once you get him to learn how to GO to sleep by himself then you can start to teach him how to STAY asleep or put himself BACK to sleep on his own when he wakes...

Does he have a lovie or blanket or something he is attached too? I am a firm believer in that - they need SOMETHING that soothes them - some kids its a thumb, some its a pacifier, some its a blanket - try to get one of the ones with a silky edge - or a stuffed animal he really likes, etc. they find a way to sooth themselves with it........

This post has been edited by lovemy2 on Jan 14 2009, 08:25 AM

Yes, something like a blankie or animal would be good.

As someone not a big fan of CIO. I have learned that we let our children control us. In the way that Isabella used to make herself throw up, we ignored it, or splashed a little water in her face when she did, and she has stopped doing it!!

Isaia was waking up every couple hours at night when he was co-sleeping to nurse when he really didn't need to anymore. I finally decided to put him in his crib and rock him to sleep at first, then he still wakes up at 12 and whines for a few minutes but I used to go rushing in there, you cant do that.

So my advice is, if he is acting like he is going to throw up, get a little squirt bottle that has a mist almost, and spray him, it will make him stop crying and he will get the point. If you don't want to do that, IGNORE HIM. I know it is hard, but SO WORTH IT. I woldn't let him scream for 3 hours and just let him keep going...

As for the milk thing, our ped says 8oz a day. Thats it, so Isaia has warm milk to go to sleep and that is it. If he wakes up and screams for more than 30 min. we will get him water!! He normally falls asleep after about 2 mins. when he realizes we aren't coming in to pick him up~

Good luck~

Still SO don't agree with doing any kind of spraying, splashing, bathtub thing with a 16 month old - but that is totally IMO - he is too young for that and I am not sure he even has the connection down -

I agree. I would just ignore him during the fits. Works like a charm for Miabella.

could be teeth coming in causing pain.

I don't think it's teething, or because he really is hungry. This has become a habit. Once your body becomes adjusted to a certain schedule, the body automatically will wake and fall asleep at the same times. If he is use to being given a bottle every two hours, his body is going to naturally wake up and want a bottle. No different than us adults. When our body becomes use to being on a certain schedule, we wake up and fall asleep at the same times a lot of times.

Put it this way...he has been given a bottle during the night this whole time...he thinks this is "normal" and what is suppose to happen. He doesn't know any differently. It is up to YOU to show him that this is not ok and that he will not have one anymore.

I think, cold turkey. If he is hungry, he will eat. If he is thirsty enough, he will drink. If you keep on giving in, he will become that much more stubborn because he'll know eventually he will get what he wants because someone will feel bad for him and cave. He's not a dumby...he knows the drill. Let him CIO at night. I know its' painful to the heart and ears, but you have to be tough about it because now you have a habit that will be hard to break. You have to be more stubborn than the child and take the control that belong to you.

Exactly - well said Jennie....

Exactly - well said Jennie....

Me three!