Question for single moms, How do you do it???

[Edward's Mommy]

Right now, I'm in a position where I'm not sure if I'm getting a divorce, but I really don't see how this marriage is going to work. Anyway, I was just wondering how you all make it with your children?? How on earth do you do it??? Any advice???


Also, I'm a stay at home mom, will I be able to get a job at a daycare and still have my son there with me and make a decent enough pay that I can support myself and my son??

[kimberley]

i am sorry that things aren't going well right now. being a single parent isn't easy and there is no "recipe" for success, you just have to keep moving forward. and that will come naturally because of your son. you will likely work harder than you ever have in your life but you can do it. most single parents here qualify for assistance and subsidized daycare. the pay is not usually enough to live on unless you are the director unfortunately. what about waiting tables part time? it is great extra cash if you get in a good place.

just remember to take whatever help you can get from family, friends and community or church. don't be too proud because your son deserves the best you can give him. if you ever need to talk, i am usually around on msn.

[C&K*s Mommie]

I agree with Kimberley. I am not a single mother, but I have known them (and stil do) and while they worked their fingers to the bone with two jobs and still barely keeping their head above water; they made it look so flawless. One was a substitute teacher, raising her son alone (with medical problems too)- but he is grown and she is older. To hear her talk about, you would have thought she was a superwoman. But no doubt at the time it was in no way shape or form easy with a bottomless pit beneath her. Her son is closer to her now more than ever.

As Kimberley said, you would have to work extra extra hard. Find assistance whereever you can. There are dozens of programs here, that offer assistance. And since you had no verifiable income you should qualify easily depending on what your state offers. Just do not have pride. Take what you can when you can, and go forward. Keep pressing on.

I am here anytime for you.

[kayla's mama]

The best advice I can give is to contact your local women's shelter. They most likely have the resources on how to gain control of your life while being a single mom, kwim.

I don't have personal experience but I do know that it is hard without alot of instant gratification, kwim.

If this is the road you are going to go down, I wish you the best of luck

[mummy2girls]

i agree with kimberely. there is no recipe out there on how to be a single mom... I feel stressed most of the time but seeing Jennas face makes all the stress disappear.

I work as a fulltime nanny but dont bring jenna with me. I do make enough to make it through each month and with the child support i recieve with aron it helps! I do get some help from the gov... such as daycare subsidy( but that is going to be gone next year)... i have jenna on a special program that she has full coverage for dental and opstitricians and prescriptions. I also get a monthly cheque from the gov called child credit tax benefit. but with all that help it still can get sticky at times. But with the help from my parents helps a great deal! What im goign to do is in august im opening up my own dayhome so i can bring in double what i make now and be a sahm as well! Maby you can look into something like that... because doing the daycare centre i dont think will give you much to live on.

You will feel overwhelmed alot of the times and stressed out alot but with help from family and friends it will be ok. Just remeber you need me time as much as you can take so if family offer to take your child let them...

With me jennas dad does not take her alone.. its like pulling teeth. So i just daont bother anymore about crying to him about taking her. as hard as it is and as many times i feel like to throw in the towel i realize that jenna is the most important thing in my life and she relies on me for everything so that helps me get through it. Seeing her laugh and smile makes my day!

if you have any questons or anything pm me or email me! Ill be here ! ive been a single mom right from the time i was 2 months pregnant with jenna so its been almost 4 years now and im still here:)

[Rachael]

Hi. I'm new here. I'm a single parent and my son will be 4 in June. I am 29. I have been able to make it on my own. It has been a rough road, but I was able to do it. I own my home and have just graduated from nursing school as an RN. I had to work full time almost all the way through school to pay for expenses and take care of us. But it has all been worth it. I start my new job next week and I absolutely can't wait. Fortunately, I did not have to pay for day care because I had family to help take care of my son. I was able to get assistance (health insurance) for my son through the state while being in college.

I feel like I have missed out on some things in my son's life, but I think it will be worth it because we will have a better life. We have a wonderful relationship and he is my little angel.

Rachael

[Brias3]

I'm so sorry to hear things aren't going well right now, but I do offer my support to you and wanted to let you know I'm here if you ever need to chat.

I don't have experience as a single parent (though at times I do feel like one!) but regarding your question about working in a daycare setting, I wanted to also reiterate something Shelly mentioned about a dayhome of your own. That might be just the ticket to being able to be fully responsible for the care of your own son while making money at the same time. Worth looking into the option at least.

Best wishes....please let me know if you need an ear!