I think it's nearing time to wean...

I feel guilty even typing this, but I think I need to wean Sophia. My intention was always to let her wean herself, but lately I've been viewing nursing more and more like a burden than an enjoyable time together. She is so wiggly and active when she nurses, and it is more stressful to me than when she used to just lay there and quietly nurse. Plus, I don't know why, but it has started to hurt again... like it did when she was young. I wonder if she just has a stronger suck now that she's older or if her latch is changing?

Last night I decided enough was enough and I wasn't going to nurse her all night long. Well, I was up with her every hour walking around the house trying to get her to stop screaming at the top of her lungs. I'm so exhausted!! DH tried to comfort her briefly, but she screamed even louder and made everyone crazy, so I took over again. I was so worked up and irritated last night, I am sure it was rubbing off on her. I think she is having trouble getting her 4th molar through.

It's a miracle that I've made it as far as I have, but I really intended to keep bfeeding up for a lot longer. I know that Sophia will miss it, and it breaks my heart to deprive her of this. I'm wiping tears away as I type this... I feel like such a failure. I know I'm crazy... how many people actually get to nurse their babies for over 13 months?

AmyNicole -
Please don't beat yourself up over this. When a nursing relationship feels more like a burden, then IMHO it is time to quit. You are doing what you think is best for both your daughter and yourself. If quitting is also making you feel bad, then maybe it's time for a major compromise. I know that encouraging Anders to give up his night time feeding was difficult, and he was much older, but he did understand "No, we are not going to have boobie now, but you can have some tomorrow"......

If you feel that awful about it, then maybe you could choose which nursings you give up - I know that Sophia is not as old as Anders was, but she is still old enough to understand some of what you say. Also, it will get easier as you go along, and she will be more tolerant of your chosing to give it up.

I also noticed that Anders latch changed and he would nurse more painfully as he got older. When that happened, I would make sure he let go, opened up wide and then re-latched. It did help to do that.

Good luck and lots and lots of hugs to you - I can sympathize with what you are going thru. In the last few weeks it has become more difficult for me to nurse Anders with having to take care of Emily's needs first as far as BF is concerned, so I have put Anders off with the nursing. I just made sure to substitute it with lots and lots of extra "snuggle time".........

Do not beat urself up over this. You have made it to a whole year! And the benefits will far outlast this brief time you spent snuggling with her!

I have noticed that Gabe's latch is awfully painful when he is teething. But if he is medicated then his latch is better.

I only nurse him when he is begging for the boob. I am no longer on the schedule we used to have...so when he wants to nurse he is far more settled and stays latched until he is done.

Find something else soothing for her instead of just going in and rubbing her back. Maybe foot rubs or body massage for her. You might need to offer her a warmed cup of whatever she'll take before bed and maybe that will settle her.

HUGS
Julie

Amy I know how hard this decission is to make! But if it is getting to stressful for you then I think you are making the right decision. Think of all the benefits Sophia has had, being able to breastfeed her as long as you did. You pumped for her so she would have your milk when you were away. You have a special bond with Sophia that no one else has and just because you wean her does not mean that the bond will be broken. You will see in time she will adjust to not nursing and everyone will be happier. You will get more sleep and she will get more sleep. Don't be so hard on yourself. You gave her such a wonderful start in life.

This post has been edited by CJ'SMOM2002 on Oct 13 2003, 06:28 AM

Thanks for your support, guys... I really needed it today!!!

I think you should give yourself huge congratulations for going more than a year. Whatever you decide at this point, it's the right decision! Sophia is a beautiful girl with loving parents who would do anything for her. That's obvious---you have nothing to feel bad about!

I know exactly how you feel. I am not quite ready to make the leap to complete weaning but Katheirne and I started the night weaning last night too. She seems to fall right asleep if she lays on her daddys chest so I decided to try to substitute laying her on my chest for a few night feedings. She fought it and cried quite a bit and I had to restrain her alot but she did finally settle down and fall back asleep without the num-nums twice. I know that it is mostly for comfort when she is nursing every hour for 10 minutes at a time and she needs to learn to soothe herself. I think I will keep doing what I did last night and work on self soothing later. Of course, Katherine is so little that I don't mind nursing her once, maybe even two times at night but 8-9 times is simply ridiculous and I am really becoming angry about it too.

Good luck hon and Sophia, give mommy a break ok? Hugs to both of you. Maybe we should set up a hotline between our homes so "the girls" can call each other in the middle of the night and complain about their mom's holding out on them while we sleep peacefully.

Lots of hugs to you, Amy! I'm sorry that you have to do this before you were ready. I agree with the others; if it seems like a burden to nurse, then it's probably time to wean. It would be better for both of you.

But just think about the benefits you gave her; those will last a lifetime! Here's a link that has mother-led weaning info and tips, as well as ways of doing it gently.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/how_wea....html#motherled

Hope this helps you some, if you haven't read it already. Lots of hugs to you. I know I'm dreading the thought of Hannah weaning, which I think might happen sooner rather than later.

Adding my link on nightweaning to this post too

http://www.drjaygordon.com/ap/sleep.htm

It sounds reasonable to me. We will probably do it even though Iain isn't a year yet.

QUOTE

Adding my link on nightweaning to this post too http://www.drjaygordon.com/ap/sleep.htm It sounds reasonable to me. We will probably do it even though Iain isn't a year yet.

Thanks for the link... I think our problem may be that she's hardly even awake when she wakes... if that makes sense So nursing to "almost asleep" would consist of about 1.5 seconds. How anyone can scream as loud as she does without being fully awake is beyond me

Yes, me too! This is totally our situation. I usually nurse him down before he fully wakes up or else he'd be up a while.

I guess the answer is to let them wake up and then do the nurse for a few seconds then back into bed. Or maybe skip those first few nights and go straight to the picking up/not nursing? I don't know.

I expect a lot of chasing around the house! I guess I'd better start this before he starts walking or else it will be impossible. I feel for you!

Although if we can just stick it out for a few nights we might be able to make it. Have you read the chapter towards the end of the NCSS where she offers a temperate approach to CIO? Where you never leave the baby, but you don't nurse or pick them up? Keep her in the crib and just reassure her--then she can't run around and maybe someday next year she'll fall asleep (just kidding!!)

I'm a little late but wanted to add my support. I think you should feel great that you have made it past 1 year, especially with all the hassels of pumping. So, don't be so hard on yourself, instead you should pat yourself on the back.

I agree that if you are burdened and stressed about nursing, then it is time to wean. I read that the baby can sense this and will take it as a personal rejection... so, I think it is better to wean or partially wean (whatever you feel comfortable with).


<<<<HUGS>>>>

Awww Amy, don't beat yourself up about this. BOTH mother and baby have to be comfortable with bfing and there is nothing wrong if you are ready Just wean her slowly, PLEASEEEEE, thank you That way it won't be so tramatic for her.

Ya know Kylie won't nurse anymore unless we are laying down in a quiet room somewhere and if we are out in public I have to nurse her in the car. She just is way too busy and wants to be everywhere. I rarely get to hold her anymore and nurse her.

You should feel great that you are able to have given her 13 months of BF! How many people can say that? Give yourself a big pat on the back and know you've done a great job at giving her a GREAT HUGE start to a healthy life.

((HUGS))