I'm on a roll today..., dateless in Colorado

[mysweetpeasWil&Wes]

I need you all to know that DH and I have been on maybe TWO dates this whole year since Wil has been born! TWO! And that's maybe out to dinner for a couple hours when my mom was visiting (which DH didn't really want to go, but my mom forced him by slipping us some money) and another to go to DH's company Xmas party, again for only a couple hours. Now I don't mean to complain about my DH all day, but he brought this up today in our discussion, so I'm diving IN! I understand that our relationship has changed since having a child, okay, it's expected...but, where has the romance gone? DH has never been a planner and he's married to an organized, overly-detailed, planning freak, but sometimes I want HIM to plan something for us. Whether it's doing something as a family or just the two of us. I want him to come up with the ideas at least once! Surprise ME! Just make some effort!

Well DH comes home for lunch today and along with our argument about the IPod, he gets upset that I am not doing a little happy dance because he's home. He tells me he's insulted. He thinks he's "planning" something nice for us. Surprise? Yes. But he could have at least found out if I had plans already. I was literally on my way out to the store with Wil.

Now am I wrong to say "I love that you're home for lunch, but I have a life and a schedule too and you can't expect me to drop everything just because you "happen" to have 15 minutes to come home for lunch?" Doing something with us "by chance" or because a meeting got cancelled, doesn't necessarily make me feel like he wants too. That's not planning something, there's no effort involved. He just got lucky.

I suppose I should take any time I can get whether it's planned or not, because I love the man and I know work is hard on him, but I'm tired of him thinking I should give him an award for stopping home for lunch just by chance. I need romance dear. I need you to say "I got a sitter tonight. We're going out"....but it's been a whole year and it still hasn't happened.

[luvbug00]

Why don't you get the fire started? ( maybe Dh is a little slow right now because he's wrapped up in work) get a sitter, rent a room and get out of babyland! Then he'll want to do it again and maybe start the next love vacation! Good luck

[Jaime]

i totally understand what you mean when it comes to the whole romance part, i mean its kinda hard dealing with me at this point, im almost ready to pop lol but i tell him just once can we go out and have a good time alone? it must just be a guy thing, but i swear when we first got together he thought of all the nice things to do and now that its been 4 years its like i have to forget that part of the relationship, i swear men sometimes you gotta kick em in the butt, you shouldnt have to do a little dance because he did get lucky to get out early or for lunch your right guys need to wake up lol i hope everything works out for you guys!