Mistake?

I need to figure out how to be invisible on here.............
Just be gald you don't live anywhere near me!!!!!

I'm jumping in with both feet!

I agree with telling the 4yo that it was just a friend that needed a place to stay. I say that is a simple answer that a child of that age can understand.

Okay, Here goes...
I also think that if you get drunk to the point where you black out, something needs to change. even IF it only happens once in a while. what if something had happened last night after the baby sitter left, but before you woke up? What if your child needed you, but you were passed out and couldn't help him?

IMO, whats done is done, but lessons could be learned here. don't party quite as hard, or maybe stay elsewhere (like a hotel) until you sober up.

Gosh I was going to post again on this topic but have decided better of it - mostly because I respect this place and the people too much to let this get out of hand...

But JEN - YOU GO GIRL

Totally agree Tara - my sentiments above exactly -

I guess we can tell though that you haven't yet convinced DH to have that 3rd baby - no raging hormones with you eh?

ps - Love Ya Jen

I try to play nicely.

Whoops!

Hmmmm....I think your explanation was perfect and if your child continues to ask questions, then go with the flow and answer them as best you can. You don't have to tell your children everything and they don't have to know everything you do. You can always just tell them in a nice way "Daddy is an adult and what I do is my business"

This is not going to scar your child, not unless it becomes a habit. We all make mistakes. And nope, no one is perfect. If anything, your kids will just learn that you are human, but you did try your best to be the perfect dad.

heheheh. Jen is gone now guys and I don't think she's coming back here. Let's all talk about her behind her back. JUST KIDDING. Man am I in a weird mood today.

Waaaaaaahhhhhhaaaa - never say never!!!!!!!!!

some great advice here i would also like to add that it does take alot of courage to come to a place and open yourself up for a possible beating. now as for my opinion on your situation, the fact that you realize what was done was a mistake means a good deal. live and learn i always say. playing the role of mommy and daddy is a hard task and calls for a more responsible person than most of us could every imagine being. we all need a night out sometimes and as long as we realize our limits and accept them for our childrens sakes the happier we will be (i know the last part was barney im such a SAHM ).

good luck, Live and Learn

Like many people on here have already said. One mistake isn't going to tarnish your child view of you as a parent. However, I wouldn't encourage you to go out and not take limits into consideration knowing your limits at this point.

After all we all do need a night out every once in awhile. Good Luck with the situation!

Uhhhh...... no. As a matter of fact, no. Obviously you have.....

Mr. AiT and I saved orselves for each other and took our wedding vows seriously. I can't believe more of you aren't offended by this guy's actions.

Oh please, we don't live in the 1800s anymore, although I think people that can save themselves for marriage are awesome (more power to them) thats just not realistic these days, I think he feels bad enough about it, he doesn't need you to make crude judgments and make him feel worse.

Since you seem so "old-fashioned" don't you remember that old saying "if its not nice to say then don't say it at all"

I doubt you're the first parent to make such a boo-boo, I'm like Cary, a big reason I don't drink anymore is because I'm afraid that if duty calls I won't be able to respond. But having said that, you're in a pretty tough situation and if I were in your shoes I can't say I might not do the same

My kids, unfortunately, wouldn't be satisfied with such a simple answer but I agree, only answer when questions are asked and keep it simple.

Uhhhh...... no. As a matter of fact, no. Obviously you have.....

Mr. AiT and I saved orselves for each other and took our wedding vows seriously. I can't believe more of you aren't offended by this guy's actions.

Oh please, we don't live in the 1800s anymore, although I think people that can save themselves for marriage are awesome (more power to them) thats just not realistic these days, I think he feels bad enough about it, he doesn't need you to make crude judgments and make him feel worse.

Since you seem so "old-fashioned" don't you remember that old saying "if its not nice to say then don't say it at all"

Well I put. I agree.

Uhhhh...... no. As a matter of fact, no. Obviously you have.....

Mr. AiT and I saved orselves for each other and took our wedding vows seriously. I can't believe more of you aren't offended by this guy's actions.

Ok...I was going to stay out of this, but...I can't any longer.

First, I commend you on your waiting til you were married. I wish everyone had the commitment to do that and the will power to do so. In a perfect world, it would be this way. However, the world isn't perfect and people make mistakes and sin. As a Christian (sorry to get all religious on everyone, but it's part of who I am ) I feel it's the right thing to do to wait because that is what we are told to do by God, HOWEVER, it doesn't mean that I did . I'm still a sinner and no more better than anyone else. Just because I am a Christian doesn't mean I don't sin. I certainly was not pure when I married my husband, but I have repented my sins. Does it make what he did right? No, not by any means. BUT, it is not our place to judge others for their sins and actions because a sin is a sin no matter what sin it is. It's ok to be in disagreement for this person's actions, but he wasn't looking for someone to slap him on the wrist. I'm sure he feels guilt just like anyone would. If this was a regular thing, I am sure he wouldn't be asking for advice on how to speak to his child about it. Noone is perfect. I am sure we ALL have skeletons in our closets. I'm sure you do too. I don't know why someone would be "offended" by his actions. Dissapointed, sure. But, also understanding that people make mistakes and forgiving them for their mistakes.

Always remember...use a soft tounge. There is always a polite way of saying something. I am sure there are other people who see it the way you do, but they seem to have chosen a less harsh way of saying it. Ok...sorry, I'm . I tend to do that.

Ok...to the OP...I agree I would let it be unless he says something again. If he brings it up again, just say it was a friend and leave it at that. I do hope a lesson is learned. But it sucks sometimes we have to learn from them the hard way.
ETA: and welcome to PC! I hope you feel welcomed.

This post has been edited by TannerBugsMom on Jun 11 2007, 10:45 AM

Short and simple. Don't let it happen again. Not judging, but your kids could have been hurt while you were "out", you know that. You told the kids who the girl was, time to move on. If they bring it up again, just repeat that she was a friend who needed some help. I wouldn't use words like "sleep over" just in case they feel inclined to repeat it out loud to their friend's parents, kwim? "Daddy had a sleepover last night!"

This post has been edited by mysweetpeasWil&Wes on Jun 11 2007, 10:54 AM

LoL sorry I cant help myself

Tell them that you were not thinking and it wont happen again well at least not drunk

Uhhhh...... no. As a matter of fact, no. Obviously you have.....

Mr. AiT and I saved orselves for each other and took our wedding vows seriously. I can't believe more of you aren't offended by this guy's actions.

Ok...I was going to stay out of this, but...I can't any longer.

First, I commend you on your waiting til you were married. I wish everyone had the commitment to do that and the will power to do so. In a perfect world, it would be this way. However, the world isn't perfect and people make mistakes and sin. As a Christian (sorry to get all religious on everyone, but it's part of who I am ) I feel it's the right thing to do to wait because that is what we are told to do by God, HOWEVER, it doesn't mean that I did . I'm still a sinner and no more better than anyone else. Just because I am a Christian doesn't mean I don't sin. I certainly was not pure when I married my husband, but I have repented my sins. Does it make what he did right? No, not by any means. BUT, it is not our place to judge others for their sins and actions because a sin is a sin no matter what sin it is. It's ok to be in disagreement for this person's actions, but he wasn't looking for someone to slap him on the wrist. I'm sure he feels guilt just like anyone would. If this was a regular thing, I am sure he wouldn't be asking for advice on how to speak to his child about it. Noone is perfect. I am sure we ALL have skeletons in our closets. I'm sure you do too. I don't know why someone would be "offended" by his actions. Dissapointed, sure. But, also understanding that people make mistakes and forgiving them for their mistakes.

Always remember...use a soft tounge. There is always a polite way of saying something. I am sure there are other people who see it the way you do, but they seem to have chosen a less harsh way of saying it. Ok...sorry, I'm . I tend to do that.

Ok...to the OP...I agree I would let it be unless he says something again. If he brings it up again, just say it was a friend and leave it at that. I do hope a lesson is learned. But it sucks sometimes we have to learn from them the hard way.
ETA: and welcome to PC! I hope you feel welcomed.

I know this is kinda old but I have to say VERY well put!!!!!

And my advice is the same as others but next time your going to have a "daddies not out" I would make sure your little person is staying with someone overnight, thats my advice.

Here's my take ...

Just tell him what you told us ... a friend that Daddy works with needed a place to sleep for the night.

Nothing more needs to be said.