SENSITIVE ISSUE

My 12-year-old daughter has begun spending time with a boy from school. She recently confided in me that they were "going out", i.e. boyfriend/girlfriend. The boy is african-american, and she is white. I am open to interracial relationships and don't really have a problem with this, but I know her father (whom I am divorced from) and other family members might not approve. Does anyone have any advice as to how I should handle this?

Being in an inter-racial marriage myself, I've run into this very issue. My mother was always against me dating men outside of my race, and made her views VERY clear to me. I dated whomever I wanted anyway, and it created contempt and tension between my mother and me which is still there to this day. When I told her over the phone that I was engaged to my husband, she didn't make a sound. There was dead silence on the other end.

She and my husband are now bosom buddies and get along much better than my mother and I do.

Anyway, not sure why I went into all of that. My advice is to support her and NOT to hide it from her father's side of the family. If they are going to be disgusting bigots about it, better that she find out about it now. Why not be happy that your daughter has found someone who cares for her and whom she cares about? Good for her!

Very well put.

Ditto to the above, maybe you can prepare him a little before she talks to him about it. If it doesn't go well be ready to explain to her that she isn't doing anything wrong and that if anyone has a problem with it, it's just that, THEIR problem.

I have a problem with this "going out" thing, but not because of the interracial nature of the relationship (my 17 year-old daughter is dating a hispanic boy). The problem I have is the development of a serious relationship at such a young age. I think 12 is a little young to be "going steady." If you think this is more of a puppy-love type thing and that nothing serious will come of it in the short term, well I have no other real advice other than to monitor the relationship. Our youngest daughter, who is 13, recently met a boy she likes, too, but she understands that she's too young for a serious dating relationship.