"the talk", for boys

My son just turned 9 and we figure it is time to start discussing sex and the changes that will too soon happen.

I have been told by friends who have girls that there is a great book by American Girl, obviously for girls which discusses hygiene, body changes, and other stuff but I have heard of nothing like this for boys. Anyone have any advice/literature/other stuff that will help us determine what is a good amount of information to give him now? We don't want to give him too much information and confuse or otherwise mess him up.

My baby is growing up . . .

Totally JMHO but I think I'd wait until he started asking questions, kind of let him guide how much to talk about and when, kwim? I've heard of telling your kids that although it's normal to want to know, it can be awkward to ask so parents start a notebook they pass back and forth...the kid writes their questions and leaves the notebook somewhere, the parents write the answer and give it back, etc.

Good luck, I'm dreading that age

i already had the talk with Jacob about the changes his body will go through (voice change, hair, extra need for personal hygiene and erections/wet dreams *shudders*). i kept it as simple as possible and he did ask questions when he didn't understand the answers. as for the birds and the bees... he did ask and i gave him a vague idea of the mechanics and he was thoroughly grossed out and stopped asking lol. i left the door open for questions at a later date

the worst question he keeps asking me makes me wanna throw my tv out... "mom, what is personal lubricant?"

mary, my first response, is to go LA LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU!
but i guess it has to be done, and once you do yours, i will send my two out when they are old enough to get their "talk" from you too.

i agree that its probably time to start at least some of the issues, now a days chances are he has heard some of it anyway, and most of it might be wrong.
when there are 14 yr old girls getting preg. I guess its not to early.

I was looking on amazon and found this book that seems to have reviews.
and at the bottom of the page is a section that recommends similiar ones..
it also said to ask the school nurse she might have some to recommend.

good luck

http://www.amazon.com/American-Medical-Ass...g/dp/0787983438

Okay I have girls and I dont even wanna think about this stuff yet.

LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU....I'm following calebsmom's advice.

No seriously, I think just be as open and honest as possible, talk about the changes his body will go through first, before you get right down to the nitty gritty. Once you initiate the conversation, I'm sure the flow of questions will come. God Speed and God Bless

My kids all knew before I did as a kid but this day and age they are having sex way to young 6th and 7th grade to think it should wait until they get older no way
Its not as bad as it seems lol it was almost always dinner convo in our house

You could try one or more of these for ages 9 -12:

Changes In You and Me: A Book About Puberty Mostly for Boys; by Paulette Bourgeois; Andrews and McMeel, 1994
Growing and Changing; by Kathy McCoy and Charles Wibbelsman; Perigee Books, 2003
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing up, Sex, and Sexual Health; by Robie Harris; Candlewick, 1996
My Body, My Self for Boys; by Lynda Madaras; New market Press, 1995
No B.O.! The Head-to-Toe Book of Hygiene for Preteens; by Marguerite Crump; Free Spirit Publ, 2005
Personal Hygiene? What's That Got To Do With Me?; by Pat Crissey and Noah Crissey ; Jessica Kinsley Publ, 2005
Puberty's Wild Ride; by Marta McCave; Family Planning Council, 2001
Sex Explained: Honest Answers to your Questions About Guys and Girls, Your Changing Body, and What Really Happens During Sex; by Magali Clausener-Petit; Amulet Books, 2004
Sex Stuff for Kids 7-17: A Book of Practical Information & Ideas for Kids, Parents & Teachers; by Carole Marsh; Gallopade Pub. Group, 1998
What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys: the New Growing-Up Guide for Parents and Sons; 3rd ed.; by Lynda Madaras; Newmarket Press, 2001

The first and last ones seem to be written especially for boys. I'm not endorsing any of these... I just found them during search.

This post has been edited by redchief on Nov 2 2007, 08:43 PM

Thank you Stacy and Redchief for the book info!! I will check these out and then DH and I can sit him down.

And I LOVE to sing LA LA LA LA - but I am afraid he will "learn" his information on the school bus or from the boy next door who is 2 years older and has always loved to give jake any information he possibly can (I could go on and on about that boy - he is pretty much looking for love and security and I think he likes the idea of my son "looking up" to him). So we do need to do this before he gets his information from an unreliable source.

And for the record I am still waiting for a talk from my mom - and I am 41! I don't want that to happen to my kids!!

mary come on over and i will give you the talk, but we dont have any pic books on it, so you will have to use your imagination..

LOL!!!!

LOL!

Zach is 5. We've already had SOME talks. He's already getting freakin hair on his legs for crying out loud.

Something I think that helps, for us...is we're very open...we don't necessarily close the door when we use the bathroom, we take the kids in the shower with us sometimes, etc etc... and otherwise having the kids ask why dh has hair there (I've since kept it shaved since Emilie called it "dirty" when she was about 2... ok TMI) there have been no other questions that have been a little awkward.

We try to maintain some privacy without getting too nuts about it. I haven't pursued this any further yet, but our concern is giving him age appropriate information. He has older cousins who I am sure will or have started to fill him in on some things and we also want him to feel free to come to us to check the facts.

No more baby boy . . .

We have the 2005 edition.

I got this for Robbie when he was around 9 or 10. It's VERY detailed. Talks about everything and even goes slightly into oral and anal sex, and girls changes as well, although it mostly is about boys.

I basically gave Robbie the book, told him to read it and if he had any questions he could ask me (dh was away at the time), or he could write it down and put it in a jar that was on my dresser and I would answer the same way.

Anthony has had hairy beastly legs since he was 3. I call him my little hairy man.

My mom's idea of "the talk" was to wait until I was 18 and had already graduated high school - and even then it consisted of "you know, if you're going to do things with boys you need to be careful".

My mom's idea of "the talk" was to wait until I was 18 and had already graduated high school - and even then it consisted of "you know, if you're going to do things with boys you need to be careful".

I'm jealous, that's more than I got!!

Bumping this up for my own selfish purposes!!

LALALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!

WOW I would have a hard tiem with this talk when the time comes!

My mom's idea of "the talk" was to wait until I was 18 and had already graduated high school - and even then it consisted of "you know, if you're going to do things with boys you need to be careful".

I'm jealous, that's more than I got!!

My mom sat me down in 2nd grade with a copy of greys anatomy and went over everything. EVERYTHING. from periods to orgasms, to male and female anatomy. in SECOND GRADE!!! DH didn't get the talk till 8th grade.
Ben isn't asking any kinds of questions at all. when he does, you will know, I will have stopped posting, since I will have died right there on the spot.

My daughter is 9 and having crushes and liking boys already Gross!

Jack already has a girlfreind and he says it is "quite serious"

Funny

ha! you and me both, sister. I have always vowed I will not do the same to my kids.