mom i wanna come home..., week 2

[luvbug00]

Mya spends every other weekend with her dad. for the past 2 visits she has called crying and begging to come home. Reluctantly he eventually lets her but isn't thrilled at all.
I have asked her what is going on. she wont tell. Jon asked her when he took her to DQ for a treat. she wouldn't tell him more then what she told me.
I cant keep telling brad she wants to come home without a valid excuse.
The previous weekend she was with him she cried herself to sleep on sat night and I got her Sunday morning. This weekend the same deal. All I can get out of her is "I miss you and Jon and the boys" (boys being the dogs) well I cant tell brad that. He'd never let her come home early if he heard that.
Kinda at a loss ....advice?

[my2monkeyboys]

Honestly, unless she can come up with a better reason I'd just make her stay. If he's trying to be a good dad, then he needs that time with her to forge a relationship. It's ok to miss people, she'll see you all again in just a couple of days.

[luvbug00]

Brad is improving a little especially after he coached her last basketball season. Still he is FAR from decent/normal parenting. When i popped by to drop of the gift for the party she was going to her dad was in the shower with his wife and she was watching the little ones. she just hugged me and she cried and cried. It just bothered me a lot.

I'm just worried his past may be catching up. Mya has mentioned his not so great deeds and mistreatment of the woman in his life several times recently. (there is serious lack in judgment as to what she hears in her dads side.) I know that eventually this will blow up in his face but I just try not to talk about it. It's not something I'm ready or think she is old enough to talk about.

[my2monkeyboys]

Maybe you both need to sit down and talk with him about her feelings... let her do the talking, without interrupting, but be there with her so you can hear both sides. Kind of as a support for Mya, too, so that she knows she can say exactly how she's feeling, that she can be open and honest. It may just be that they need to tweak some things about the visits, though I do think it's best if she's treated as a big sister normally would be, esp if Brad and his wife are really trying to make a go as a family - not that they cater to her every wish, but listen to her feelings and try to compromise on things that are really important to her.
Anyway, just an idea.