Question for those who have lost babies

[kit_kats_mom]

I have a new(ish) friend and today was the first time we hung out together without a lot of other people around. We were eating lunch and all three kids were drawing on their placemats. Her 5 yo drew a picture then came over to show me what she drew. She said "this is mommy, daddy, me and the baby sister that mommy has in her tummy". Trouble is, I knew that she'd had a miscarrage a few months ago. Apparently, they'd told Maddy and she'd even gone to the ultrasound with them, then they'd lost the baby. They've explained that there is not a baby anymore but Maddy keeps bringing it up. Danielle was obviously a little upset but she tried not to show it. I'd assume it doesn't make it easier when your DD keeps bringing it up. They plan to try again in a couple of months but she was wondering if you guys have any suggestions for Maddy.

Thanks in advance. I'll pass on any ideas you guys have.

[mckayleesmom]

Maybe she can sit down at a park with maddie and bring some ballons...Explain it to her again and send up a balloon to the sister she lost. Maybe she can attach a wish for another brother or sister too.

Im not really sure how to handle that...kids really don't understand sometimes.

[jcc64]

Cary, there's a pg loss board over on ivillage which was invaluable to my gf when she lost her baby at 36 wks. Maybe check over there?

[mummy2girls]

When I lost Jordan.. jordans dads sister was there for me throughout the pregnancy labour and after and she has a son who was 3 yrs old well he was so attached to Jordan ever since he was born and when Jordan passed away we had to explain to him that Jordan went to heaven and such. What we did to help him to understand is we got a bunch of helium balloons and had himd raw a picture to Jordan. and then we attached the picture gave him the balloons and went outside. We explained to him that Jordan was in heaven because he was a very sick little boy. And we told him that we will send this balloon and picture up to him when you let go. And he let go. He said balloons go up to heaven for Jordan to play with. He understood that Jordan was not with us anymore... its hard to have a child understand this sort of thing.

[MommyToAshley]

I think that is a pretty hard concept for a child to understand. When Ashley was younger, we didn't really talk to her about Joshua because we thought she might have a hard time understanding. Then, when she was about 4, she said she dreamt that she saw her baby brother in the window. It shocked us because we had never really talked to her about him. So, we took this time to talk about Joshua. I'm not sure she fully understood though. We just explained to her that Joshua is in heaven now. Do they attend a Church? Maybe your friend could have the youth pastor talk to her?

[lisar]

I know this is diffrent but every year on Austins birthday, (my sisters son) he has a special ballon that he will let go, he says that the ballon is going to Grandma (our mom) so that she can celebrate his birthday with him. Its so hard cause they really just dont understand it all.