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Parenting Club Forums > General Infant Parenting > Help a new Dad out please


Posted by: remist17 Oct 26 2009, 11:41 AM
Hello, New to the site and seaking some help !

Our daughter is 2 weeks old and she seems to cry from 10 pm to 5 am(over night) with little to no break. My wife is breastfeeding and our daughter was born 8.8 and 22.25". My wife feeders our daughter every 2 to 3 hours during the day and our daughter sleeps and plays well during the day. She does not fuss at all. We thought it was gas or colic but I am not thinking so.

I do believe she is a lazy eater as she only feeds for 5-10 min before she does not want any more. during hte eve we continue the same 2 to 3 hour window or sooner. Lately feeding does not even ease the crying. The Ped doc says it ok and does not want to see us nor suggests what to do.

Can you all please suggest what to do over the evenings so we can get some sleep ! maybe just two hours

Thanks

Posted by: PrairieMom Oct 26 2009, 11:47 AM
first of all, are you swaddling? "the happiest baby on the block" methods literally saved our lives.
secondly, does she scream more after eating or when you lay her down? may be reflux.

Posted by: PrairieMom Oct 26 2009, 11:50 AM
you can try elevating the head of her bed to see if that helps.
i think its easy for esp. BF moms to second guess their feedings when that is rarely the problem.

Posted by: remist17 Oct 26 2009, 11:55 AM
We are swadling with blankets and even went and bought one of those swadler kits. The crib sits up a little in the back, and she screams basically all the time. She used to stop while she fed and then burbed and then a little nap. but now its cry and refuse to nurse with out a lot of work. Doc said nothing wrong inside and she was growing well.

What are the signs of reflux?

Posted by: cameragirl21 Oct 26 2009, 12:02 PM
she may have her days and nights mixed up if she's fine during the day and not so fine at night, assuming you or your wife are doing the same things during the day as at night.

Posted by: remist17 Oct 26 2009, 12:05 PM
QUOTE (cameragirl21 @ Oct 26 2009, 12:02 PM)
she may have her days and nights mixed up if she's fine during the day and not so fine at night, assuming you or your wife are doing the same things during the day as at night.

I think we are doing mostly the same day and night. Difference being if she is sleeping in the day we wake her up to feed every 2 - 3 hrs. that was per the PED doc.

Any suggestions on how to make her sleep better? Some people are saying she is hungry and not getting enough from the milk and to give her a little cereal at night? ! I have read this is not the best thing to do at this age, mostly people start at two plus.

Posted by: cameragirl21 Oct 26 2009, 12:09 PM
is it warm enough? Maybe add a space heater, just make sure whatever you get is not a fire hazard.
It may also be due to lack of being held/close to her mother for longer periods at night, maybe get her a white noise machine or something to mimic sounds in the womb? She may just be craving more human contact or something soothing at night.

Posted by: DVFlyer Oct 26 2009, 12:23 PM
Does she burp well after feeding?

We swore by Mylicon when our kids were infants.

Posted by: remist17 Oct 26 2009, 12:25 PM
QUOTE (cameragirl21 @ Oct 26 2009, 12:09 PM)
is it warm enough? Maybe add a space heater, just make sure whatever you get is not a fire hazard.
It may also be due to lack of being held/close to her mother for longer periods at night, maybe get her a white noise machine or something to mimic sounds in the womb? She may just be craving more human contact or something soothing at night.

you bring up a good question I had. What is the right temp? The house is at 70, and I have at least a good blanket to wrap her in or the swadler is fleeze.

I have the white noise machine and the thing that goes on the crip that goes around and has music. Cant think of the name.

So how do I get around the humna contact part. We hold her as much as we think is right and I dont think we neglect her, but she needs to sleep while we are sleeping for the 2 hours or 3

Posted by: cameragirl21 Oct 26 2009, 12:36 PM
70 is definitely too cold for her. When I photograph newborns I crank the temperature up past 80, otherwise they get cold and cry the whole time.
I'd consider a space heater for the night, but just make sure it's not a fire hazard. Does she sleep in your room? If not, I'd move her into your room so that you can monitor the space heater. They're not supposed to be a fire hazard but they still make me nervous, personally.
As for the human contact, remember, she just came out of her mother's body into a cold world, she's used to a certain temperature, hearing her mother's heart beat, constant contact, etc. That is something she is going to have to get used to...I'd try to mimic the temp/sounds of the womb as much as possible as it will soothe her. And babies love to be swaddled, if you wrap her tightly that will also mimic the feel of the womb, somewhat.

Posted by: PrairieMom Oct 26 2009, 12:40 PM
Raspy sounding lungs, and screaming after feeding , or when you lay her down can be signs of reflux. Are you sleeping her in the same position day and night? like is she sleeping in the crib at night, but swing during the day? I would still suspect reflux.

DO NOT give your 2 week old cereal. Most peds suggest you wait until AT least 4 months before starting solids, many are saying 6 months now. Their little systems just can't take it when they are that little.

One thing we did was warm up our daughters bassinet with a heating pad a little before laying her down, ( we would turn it on med. lay it there for 5 min or so, then take it out before laying her down) it helped to ease her from warm arms to Warm bed.

I cannot stress how much this helped us... http://thehappiestbaby.com/
Seriously. They have a DVD. completely worth it. the website has a video on it, you should check it out.


Posted by: PrairieMom Oct 26 2009, 12:44 PM
I disagree that 70 is to cold for an infant, esp one that has a sleeper on and is swaddled possibly with other blankets. feel her fingers and see if those are cold and go from there. We keep our house at 70, and that has been fine for our infants.
Depends on where you live. Jennifer lives in FL, for her 70 is like below freezing. rolling_smile.gif I'm in SD, 70 feels like beach weather! rolling_smile.gif

Posted by: moped Oct 26 2009, 02:27 PM
QUOTE (remist17 @ Oct 26 2009, 03:25 PM)
QUOTE (cameragirl21 @ Oct 26 2009, 12:09 PM)
is it warm enough?  Maybe add a space heater, just make sure whatever you get is not a fire hazard.
It may also be due to lack of being held/close to her mother for longer periods at night, maybe get her a white noise machine or something to mimic sounds in the womb?  She may just be craving more human contact or something soothing at night.

you bring up a good question I had. What is the right temp? The house is at 70, and I have at least a good blanket to wrap her in or the swadler is fleeze.

I have the white noise machine and the thing that goes on the crip that goes around and has music. Cant think of the name.

So how do I get around the humna contact part. We hold her as much as we think is right and I dont think we neglect her, but she needs to sleep while we are sleeping for the 2 hours or 3

I am going to disagree with Jennifers temperature, we always keep out house cooler because apparently people sleep better when the temp is cooler. And you seriously do not want to over heat the baby! And you said you swasddle her in a fleece blanket, she oculd be way too hot........but i honestly don't think that is the problem.

I say swaddle, gas drops, lots of burping. It does sound like colic because they say colic is:

Crying for more than 3 hours, for more than 3 days in a row and one other 3 I can't remember.

My son was colic and it was hard but they do grow out of it.

Does she spit up a lot?

Posted by: PrairieMom Oct 26 2009, 02:35 PM
If your wife is Breast feeding, and you question if it is colic, her eliminating all dairy from her diet may help too.

Posted by: redchief Oct 26 2009, 02:53 PM
I don't want to be the kill joy here, but we had a similar problem with our second son. It didn't matter what we did, nothing seemed to make it better. So we took turns. Mom fed and dad (me) held, cuddled and basically dealt with it. I'm not saying don't try everything that everyone suggested, just that you may not hit on any single solution in the short term. Try all of the suggestions given (except making the house warmer - 70 is plenty warm enough for a swaddled babe normally), and hope for the best. Otherwise realize that it won't last forever and she'll get better.

Posted by: A&A'smommy Oct 26 2009, 04:05 PM
hug.gif hug.gif You got a LOT of great suggestions here!! Definitely try the happiest baby on the block it could be life saver. If it is colic they DO grow out of it just remember there is end in sight. give her time and remind your wife to SLEEP when she sleeps it could very well be her only sanity, the house and everything else does NOT matter as much as your wife getting sleep when she can. It will get better!!! hug.gif hug.gif

Posted by: mummy2girls Oct 26 2009, 06:59 PM
It sounds like colic ...my 4 month old just got over the colic stage. she is much more happier. Try having your wife eliminate diary from her diet and see if that helps. We had to switch to soy forumla and it reduced her crying by half or more. It could be reflux as well... My oldest had reflux and they do outgrow it as well. Try having the baby sleep on an angle. head upright.

DO not feed baby cereal at 2 weeks. they're stomach is not mature enoughf or it and can cause many problems. I was told by my daughters doctor that at 4 months you can try pablum and then at 6months give jar food.

Posted by: MommyToAshley Oct 27 2009, 03:34 AM
The signs of reflux are:
--constant or sudden crying or colic like symptoms
-- irritability and pain
--poor sleep habits typically with frequent waking
--arching their necks and back during or after eating
--spitting-up or vomiting
--wet burp or frequent hiccups

My daughter had reflux and the two big signs were the projectile vomit and she'd arch her back after eating. The thing that helped most with reflux is that I would make sure I got a good burp and then elevate her at a 45 degree angle for at least 45 minutes after eating. We had a script, but didn't need it, the elevation helped the most. However, if your daughter is fine during the day and this only happens at night, I don't think it is reflux.

If you suspect it is gas, mylicon drops are harmless and worth a try.

I have to disagree on the temp too. I would be leary of turning the temp up too high -- 70 was perfect in our home.

The thing that stuck out in your post is that your daughter would only nurse for 5 minutes and then not want to nurse anymore. This could be a sign of relux too, but the issue is that she is not getting any of the hind milk. This could be why she is hungry again so soon. Although, I did nurse my daugher every two-three hours as a newborn even during the night. But, that slowly tapered off as she got older.

Does your hospital or doc's office offer the services of a lactation nurse/consultant? Our hospital provided these services at no extra charge. The lactation nurse may be able to help more than the ped if it is a feeding issue and the baby is not getting enough hind milk or it is an issue with the mother's diet.

Posted by: remist17 Oct 27 2009, 04:19 AM
Well thank you to all for your help. Last night we started something a little different. MY wife pumped and we bottle fed. I had thoughts that she was not getting enough to eat while nursing.

While pumping my wife found out one side is a slower let down then the other and would get about half the amount out in the same time frame. Maybe Im just hoping this will solve the issues but ....

Bottled fed 2.5 oz every 2 to 3 hours up to 10 pm. At 10 pm we gave her 3 oz (all within recomended amounts). Our daughter slept until 3am and we fed her again, fell asleep and she is still sleeping (8:18am)

biggrin.gif

I sitll have my thoughts that she might have reflux or maybe colic... but at least we got a good sleep in for the first time in 10 days !

Posted by: MommyToAshley Oct 27 2009, 09:18 AM
I'm glad you found something that works for you. I wonder if your wife's letdown is too fast or slow. That would make sense that bottle feeding helps.

I hope you have many continued nights like last night! thumb.gif And, you've probably discovered the most important thing in parenting -- trial and error. Because what works for one child, may not work for another.

Posted by: msoulz Oct 27 2009, 09:28 AM
QUOTE (remist17 @ Oct 27 2009, 08:19 AM)
Well thank you to all for your help. Last night we started something a little different. MY wife pumped and we bottle fed. I had thoughts that she was not getting enough to eat while nursing.

While pumping my wife found out one side is a slower let down then the other and would get about half the amount out in the same time frame. Maybe Im just hoping this will solve the issues but ....

Bottled fed 2.5 oz every 2 to 3 hours up to 10 pm. At 10 pm we gave her 3 oz (all within recomended amounts). Our daughter slept until 3am and we fed her again, fell asleep and she is still sleeping (8:18am)

biggrin.gif

I sitll have my thoughts that she might have reflux or maybe colic... but at least we got a good sleep in for the first time in 10 days !

That is great news, congrats! happy.gif

I have to say, my daughter breast fed and she was a grazer - I don't think she ever fed more than 10 minutes, and usually it was about 5 and she was just done. So she ate often (as an infant I remember every hour and a half or so) but she did sleep 4 hours or so at a stretch at night too so I didn't sweat it. Even now, at almost 4, she seems to eat a lot in the morning through afternoon and doesn't eat much dinner nor wants big snacks at night. And she generally sleeps great.

I also learned that one breast produced WAY more than the other, like I could pump 6 oz from one in the time it took to pump 1/2 oz from the other. So I did what everyone says not to, I fed her exclusively from the one that actually produced a lot. It worked out SO much better. Yeah, I looked lopsided for a while but oh well. That may be something to check too, if there is a great difference between the two. I understand most women pump more from one than the other, but not usually as much as mine. I had to supplement my son (firstborn) but not my daughter because I figured this out. thumb.gif

Posted by: Our Lil' Family Oct 27 2009, 09:57 AM
QUOTE (remist17 @ Oct 27 2009, 07:19 AM)
Well thank you to all for your help. Last night we started something a little different. MY wife pumped and we bottle fed. I had thoughts that she was not getting enough to eat while nursing.

While pumping my wife found out one side is a slower let down then the other and would get about half the amount out in the same time frame. Maybe Im just hoping this will solve the issues but ....

Bottled fed 2.5 oz every 2 to 3 hours up to 10 pm. At 10 pm we gave her 3 oz (all within recomended amounts).  Our daughter slept until 3am and we fed her again, fell asleep and she is still sleeping (8:18am)

biggrin.gif

I sitll have my thoughts that she might have reflux or maybe colic... but at least we got a good sleep in for the first time in 10 days !

This is exactly what I was going to suggest!! I wish I had seen it sooner. My son would NOT nurse at night as a newborn, he would just scream, I must have had the same problem as your wife, or he was just too impatient. The lactation nurse mentioned a higher prolactin level at night (hormone) but my OB disagreed. Regardless I pumped and we bottlefed at night and that was the trick!
Hope you have another successful night tonight!!!

Posted by: kimberley Oct 27 2009, 10:38 AM
i had a really fast letdown so it made my babies gassy. glad the bottles are working. hang in there... it's not hard forever. hug.gif

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