Is my son behind?, My 21 month old son

I am writing this because some people in my family have said some "mean" things about my son. They think he is behind. He is 21 months and he does not talk much. He says a few words - ball, pretty, mama, dada and he tries to say a few others. He started walking in November at 17 months and they thought he was behind for that, but he walks just fine now. It just makes me mad because I know my son is smart!!! What do you other parents think?

My son didn't talk much until he was over 2 and by the time he was in school he spoke way better than most friends he brought home.

One thing I have learned is that all kids develop differently and everyone feels the right to comment on it. It is hard to be objective about our own children but you know your son better than anyone so try not to take others' words to heart. If your son's doctor isn't concerned then let it be and ignore the naysayers.

Thats part of the problem is that my hubby and I are unemployed and he hasn't been to the doctor since he was 3 months. So they think something is wrong and we don't know because we don't take him to the Dr. I know my son is smart!!!! He doesn't have any problems!!!

Thanks for your response. It good to know your baby was 2 before started to walk. Thanks for the advice

Every child is different - my oldest was walking at 10 months and talking very well at 15 months so I freaked out when my 2nd didn't walk until 16 months and barely spoke until 18 months but they are both perfectly happy, healthy kids now.

I know how hard it can be when money is tight but if you're concerned I would suggest finding a free clinic or trying to scrape together enough for a Drs. visit. If you're not concerned then try to forget about what everyone else says.

Thanks for the responses and advice. I will try to not listen to what they say. Its just so annoying!!! Who do they think they are?!
We recently moved into my mother in laws house. She has been getting on us about every little thing is seems like. The past few nights its been because she thinks my son goes to be too late. Yeah sometimes he does stay up until 1am with us, but then he sleeps until 11. So as long as he is getting enough sleep I donno why it matters!!! I'm at my whits end with these inlaws!!!

I spend every day in a classroom with 6 children aged 14-24 months and I can tell you that they all develop completely differently!

Some pediatricians begin to get concerned if a toddler isn't walking by around 14 months, but that's only because that can be an indication of a future problem, if your son is walking fine now then there's absolutely no reason to believe that he was anything other than a toddler who got around perfectly well before and didn't think he needed to walk just yet

As for speech, the majority of the children in the class and the toddlers that I have seen have around 10 - 15 words. That means they have 10 - 15 words that they use on a regular basis and can say clearly enough to be understood. Those words are exactly the type that your son seems to be using "Mama/mommy", "dada/daddy", "more", "up", "cup", "ball", "milk", etc...

Again, some say a lot more and some have a few less.

Tell your family that if there was something to be concerned about your doctor would let you know. And at 17 months unless there were significant delays (no speech or sounds, not mobile, etc... ) you'd be hard pressed to find a doctor who'd even consider whether a child was "behind" or not.

Thanks for the response, but my son hasn't been to the doctor since 3 months so thats why they think there is a problem. I mean I am the baby's mom I know my son is smart! I don't need a doctor to tell me that. I'm just so frustrated!

he actually sounds fine to me, but my question is why hasn't he been to the doctor since he was 3 months old? you mean for sickness or not at all

Not at all we don't have insurance

have you looked into government insurance like medicade?

have you looked into government insurance like medicade?

I was going to suggest the same thing. If you and your hubby are both unemployed, then your son should qualify for govt medicade. I would recommend appling for it -- I am sure your son is smart and doing well, but it's always good to get the reassurance of a pediatrician.

I would say to try and ignore the negative things you hear. My son only said a few words when he turned 2 and my mom always had something negative to say about it. She really had me worried for awhile but then I just ignored what she said about it. Now he's almost 2 1/2 and he has picked up so many words he amazes me. Try not to worry.

This post has been edited by HuskerMom on Mar 20 2009, 06:56 PM

The thing is if your son HAD been to the doctor, the detractors would find another reason for his current situation. Don't' worry about them.

Sure, there *could* be something wrong, but from what you've told us, I can't see any real issues.

My son was a delayed talker and is still a little behind. Most school districts have a free screening that you can do to see if there is a problem. In my area they screen once a month. If there is a problem (like for my son), he has received free therapy. Yes every child develops at their own rate, but also the earlier the help the better off you are. They can also help you find resources etc.

All the boys on my side of the family are speech delayed. This has nothing to do with intelligence. They are all bright - older boys are honor students.

Hope this helps a little....but also don't let other people's thoughts freak you out. Everyone has an opinion, and well it makes you freak out about everything. Listen to your heart and do what you think is right. Just know that there should be a free option - call your elementary school and ask. Unless you are in a very rural part of the country you should have some sort of free screening.

The 2 year old range is SOOO hard. Within the next year you will see your child change SO much. From what you say it doesn't sound like anything to be concerned about, but I would definitly just keep encouraging him to talk. Don't let him point to get what he wants. When he does point, say the word for what he wants and foster his language. Don't baby talk, say the words how the are suppose to be pronounced. Just encourage him to use his words. When you hear him try to repeat something, that is a great sign. Just keep on fostering his language skills at this age. All kids at this age are at so many levels. I would only be concerned if he wasn't talking at all.

I agree, there is such a large range of normal.

My oldest, Nathan, didn't speak until he was 3 years old - completely non-verbal - not one word. We took him to speach and all the professionals involved suggested autism. I knew in my heart, he wasn't autistic - although he had a few of the signs, he didn't seem autistic. We introduced PECS (picture exchange communication system) and he started speaking almost instantly. It's like a light bulb switched on and he said "oh you want me to talk". Within a couple months, he went from non-verbal to speaking in 3-4 word sentences. Now he's 4 1/2 and he's talks non-stop and very clearly. We later got a diagnosis of "mild cerebral palsy" probably due to his awful birth. The professionals now think the speech delay may have been caused by a muscle condition not autism.

Our youngest, Tyler, just turned 2. And he's non-verbal also. I'm not overly concerned because of our experiences with Nathan... and not to mention Tyler has a moderate/severe hearing loss and wears hearing aids. I knew in my heart he'd be behind in his speach as a result. Once again, the professionals are all raising red flags and suggesting autism but I'm trying hard to just keep doing what we're doing and give him time. I know in my heart he will speak... but at his own time and pace.

This post has been edited by Cherie on Jul 19 2009, 02:36 PM