dads I need help, trying to help my husband

[dartinmyheart]

guys i need your help. My husband and i have been married for 10 years. we have a 9 y/o son and a 7 y/o daughter. my problem is that my husbands anger with our son is nuts. he has never hurt him and he is trying really hard to get his anger under control (going to councelling...) Usually he is really good but the other day he got mad at my son and yelled and threatened him. he would never act on it and he apologized to my son for it. Ay advice? How should i handle it? can you help me understand where this is coming from? is there real hope for change?
thanks for your help
jennifer

[luvmykids]

I'm not a dad but welcome, and I have a son who has a dad that sounds similar to your situation .....My only advice would be to tell your husband up front that he does need to seek counseling for his anger, my guess is if it's only directed at your son then it really isn't about your son but something else that your son happens to trigger. If your husband won't see a counselor, I would suggest that you do, they are great at helping you understand what needs to happen next.

[TheOaf66]

I guess I would have to know the situation as to why dad was upset? I deal with this as I just have frustration issues but it is something only he can deal with. Usually the best advice I can give is walk away from the situation, calm down, and then discuss, I always feel bad that sometimes my boy is almost scared of me so I always try and talk to him afterwards calmly to try and resolve it.

[redchief]

I'm sorry I'm so late in responding to your post. I was going to several times, but didn't for fear I'd be saying the wrong things. I figured out why, now, I have been unable to respond. I really don't have enough information regarding his "anger" or "threatening" to make a valid, intelligent response. Can you be more specific?

[Boo&BugsMom]

I would suggest him going to an anger management class. It sounds, from what you described, that he at least acknowledges how he acts, which is a good start...he apologizes, etc. I think it would be for his benefit and your son's that he take a class like that to manage his anger better. Perhaps a course on positive discipline would work out well too. Is your son doing outrageous things? I guess that is my only question...what does your son do that he gets so upset?