Di's journal

I will do this this time. I must do this. I can do this. I am not sure of my real weight since my scale I am sure is off. I did get on this am and it was sorta what I was thinking, but them when I got on one at a store later with my clunky shoes, fully dresses, wallet and keys in hand ( I am sure all that was at least 5lbs) It was the same as my sacle said so I guess its about 5lbs off, meaning 5lbs over. I will have to get a new one but I will use that until I can. Heck if it is 5lbs over when I do get the new one I will be one happy girl and modivated to drop more. I want to start with droping 20lbs and over all I want to lose 40lbs.

So far today I had
9oz water before breakfast.
1 bowl of cookie crisp
9oz water
1 bananna

lunch is comming up it will be a tomato basil wrap filled (not alot) of last nights dinner was not much lelf, probably not even a serving.

Got to get back to my water intake and got to find time to work out. I miss that. I would like 8-10lbs off by the end of June. I will update more later.

Doing great Di. You can do this! I know you can, always have .

Good Luck Di! We're all behind you!!!!

thank you both I need all the support I can get. I am just tried of feeling and probably looking fat in my clothes. I am just going to try and not let kait see me struggle, meaning if she has ice cream or something and wants to share I will have that bite or two. I just want to be healthier, and smaller.

Congrats Di, you have made the first step, more will surely follow. We are here for you.

Terri

Luch was yummy I had the wrap and more water. Snakc a bit later will be an apple. I am feeling good about my food choises. Home is where I tend to go astray so I need to stay busy and not think about it and get back to my cut off time of eating. I hope to get some type of work out in. I am not sure whats for dinner yet.

well dinner last night was not great has 2 bowls of cereal. not really what I wanted but it was okay. I did have alot more water yesterday so thats a plus. I need to plan dinner better and get things out we have TONS of meat juts need to get a plan and some out each moring or the night before and use it.

today water about 5oz
bowl of ceral
coffee

I really wanted to stop and get some candy, something chocolate I was feeling hurt and angry and wanted to feel better but I did not. I only got black coffee. I am proud I did not give in. As I drove and thought about it losing weight will feel much better than eating chocolate.

I brought lunch. Dinner will be out with Kait and I.

Congrats on the skipping of the sweets, that is awesome. Keep up the great work.

Great job! That is one of the biggest struggles, isn't it. Once you get into the habit of using food to make yourself feel better it's really like an addiction. I'm sure there will be days when we end up giving in but if we take it each moment at a time we'll make it.

Keep up the good work!

well I dont remmeber all I ate over the weekend but over all it was not bad, a few treast here and there. Its hard to say no to one of those little Oreo's when offered but such a adorable girl (Both Ashley and Kait shared) but I only had 2 of them they are small I dont even think those tow equal one big one. I have not offical worked out but did ALOT of walking Friday, some saturday, more on sunday. Its something. If its nice out tongiht I want to get outside and weed (I HATE doing it, but needs done, have tons of little trees for them stuip whorly gigs aka hilocptors) the more I can get out the less I will eat. I do have chick out for dinner. and will have a wrap and fruit for lunch.

I did set my alram to get up early to work out either at the gym or home but I was to tried and afraid I would hurt myself so I decided to sleep more and aim for some type of movement tonight.

well last night was chicken, corn and some mac and cheese. small portions. not much work out yesterday but I sat outside instead of snacking. went with DH to his grandparents had a mini snickers oh well at least it was the small one.

breakfast pop-tarts they are gone now. I will have to try oatmeal again as cold cereal does not hold me long.

lunch is left over chicken in a wrap, carrotts, and yougert.

dinner who knows I get home late so I dunno if we will cook or not.

Dinner was cereal and fruit snacks not great .

However I did get on that dumb scale today and OMG according to that scale from what it said last week I LOST 3LBS!!!

That makes me happy and excited that I really can do it. Mostly while I have be tring to get movement in, I have tried to cut back on food portions and snacking. Now when I feel like snacking I ask myself why, yep I now talk to myself. It works most of the time. Sure I slip sometimes and eat before thinking but I am human and can change the habit over night.

So 3lbs gone 37 to go. Ihonestly think if I can get 10lbs gone it will keep me going to get the 20 I so Desperately want gone.

Congrats, it is amazing what big results little changes can make. Keep up the great work.

Terri

Congrats Di!!!! That is wonderful news!

thank you both.

lunch was turkey wrap....I really need to get some lettuce its boring with out it. Carrotts and yougert.

snack will be an apple

dinner..........who knows I started to get something out and was not sure and the ralised I had to go.

I have to keep going and not give up.

Well it feels like here we go again, but I am going to try harder.

I guess I will use the same scale for now. Over all I want to drop 40lbs, and try just 5lbs at a time. Not a week but hit 5lbs then 10 ect.

so today I have had

coffee for breakfast
3 glasses of water (I think they are 6oz glasses)
and ordered a salad for lunch.

Oh I did have 3 of those slices of Hursheys extra dark chocolate (they are like the swoops) with raspberry.

I am not sure about dinner

as for working out I will either do some yard work tongiht or try my best to make it to the gym. I know the only way this can work is if i get that time to work out. Alone away from everyone. I actually miss my yoga DVD. Maybe I can do that tonight if I can stay awake after Kait goes to bed. Yes thats what I am going to try and do, some yard work then youga after she is in bed.

Good for you Di, giving up is not an option for me either. I need to do this so I am going to do this. For me this is going to be a life long challenge and will not stop even when I am at goal. Keep on fighting the good fit and we will win this battle. I can relate on doing when the kids are sleeping, that is usually when I get to do mine and it makes the world of difference to not have to worry about them. We are here for you.

Terri

Thanks Terri. I am also working hard not to let Kait see me struggle I dont want her to get concerned abotu her body imiage. I am just not sure yet of a good response on what to tell her why I need to go to the gym. So I know at times I will need to have those few bites of things I should not, and that I will need to work a bit harder.

You are welcome. Both my boys know what I am doing and they even keep me in check with my exercise to make sure I do it. I explained that I needed to get in better shape in order to chase them around and play with them. We also cottage and there are paddle boats there that they want me to get in with them and I can't or they would be riding in the sky. So they understand that I am doing this and are okay with it. I understand your feelings regarding Kait, but if you keep your attitude about what you are doing really positive she will pick up on that too and not worry about herself.

Terri

Okay I know its been a couple days. I have made some positive changes. I will try and find more to add in. I am looking foward to becomming a BIG loser.

I think it is ok to let Kaitlin know you are focusing on exercising and staying fit. It's good for everyone, including kids regardless of their body shape. So, I think if you focus on the exercise aspect and not the weight loss or body image then it is fine. Ashley will go to the gym with us, and they have a toy treadmill in the childcare room ... Ashley likes to walk on it after she's seen us on the treadmill. I see nothing wrong with that. I just have to watch my comments about my weight around her... I think I have slipped once or twice.

Anyways... you are doing great... Keep it up!!!

exactually, I have to be care in what I say more than what I do. Its another reason I want her to find something she loves to do and stay active in it. So far she really loves dance, gymnastics and playing around in the pool. All very good for her. There are a few other activites she wants to try but we will wait before we add more.

I have done really well today, except now I am HUNGRY. I will have to see what I have to eat and fill me up. I am deffinalty an emotional eater, not just when I am down but when I am happy also. I got some awsome news and I wanted to get something, not sure what that something was, but I did not get anything. Its deffinalty going to be a struggle to change that habit. I will just have to take it one day at a time, and if I fall down not to make a big deal of it and just move on. I really do hope I get controll this time around.

Well I feel I am doing really well, with cutting back on overall food intake. I am really tring to figure out why I feel the need to eat when I dont feel hungry. So far so good. I only had one slip and it was only for 2 bites before I stoped myself.

Now I have to decide what to do with this 1/2 cinamon roll my co-worker gave me. I feel bad refusing it, but I know I should not have it right now. I guess maybe give it back or throw it away. I just dont want to offend him.

Even though I should be so close to my over all goal now if I had stuck with it in the early part of the year, i will not look back only foward and just one day at a time.

Yeah, don't look back, just look forward. If I count the times I was 'supposed' to be at my goal weight I'd start crying. I think the key is while you are on your change of life journey to appreciate your body at each step. Like for instance, I'm not at my goal weight, but I'm fitting into my old clothes (which is weird, lol) and enjoying the fact that my body is more fit than it was when I was actually at my goal weight. So right now the scale doesn't matter to me. You have to continue to find things that you can appreciate throughout your journey, not just the number on the scale. Otherwise it's a recipe for failure.

Great job on cutting back on food as well. As far as the cinammon roll...just tell your coworker that you appreciate the offer but you are trying to cut back on what you eat so you need to decline the offer. Although, now that it's in your hands I'd probably eat it.