Aimee's 2006 Journal

I started back at the gym this past week. I weighed in and took my measurements. I was shocked that I really hadn't gained much weight back...only 4 pounds. I gained a new perspective on my 'break' and realized I need to lose much more weight than I had originally planned. That is kind of discouraging and I'm having trouble with food this time around, too. I can work out 5 times a day if I need to, but I am STARVING when I get home from the gym. I love working out, but by eating so much I feel like I am reversing everything I just worked so hard for.

Anyway, I'm just taking it slow and doing the best I can. I have a few small goals to keep me motivated and I'm also keeping a journal at home and that helps.

My first goal is to lose 10 lbs by Valentine's Day. I would like to be at my final goal by my birthday...April 19. So, I have about 20-25 pounds to lose by April. Please help me stay on track.

One of my dearest and best friends that I have known since childhood came by today. I can't believe how GREAT she looks. I am extremely happy for her. She has always been so self conscious and a little pudgy at times. Not anymore. She is radiant and gorgeous. She made a complete lifestyle change and started working out. She was so encouraging. I said "Do you think it is possible for me to do this by April?" She said "Oh, totally...just make up your mind that you really want to do it and you want to be healthy and you can do it." She is single and has no kids, btw.

So, here goes. I'm ready....no looking back.

Sounds like you have a plan and the desire to achieve it. I know you can do this Amy.

BTW, I can't believe you think you need to lose that much. You were skinny before!

This post has been edited by boogabearzmom on Jan 16 2006, 06:11 PM

Thank you, Karen! You are such a huge inspiration to me. You are doing so well.

I really do think I need to lose 20 more pounds. I was looking at some pictures my mother took on Christmas and I look like I weigh 200 pounds. I'm not kidding. They were AWFUL. She is pretty honest with me and agrees that I need to lose about 20 more to look more like 'myself'. I also think I would feel better. I have a lot of flab on my stomach and arms that needs to go. I know I need to tone and I am toning...I can feel the muscle underneath the flab, but I still need to lose fat. I just really feel disgusting. Like when I bend over my stomach is so gross. Those are things you can't see in that picture. I'm not skinny...I guess I hide it well and the day I took that picture was a good day...I'm not having good days lately. I thought I looked 'okay' when I took that picture...I know I could look better....and not just on a good day, but all the time, kwim?

And I might have only gained 4 pounds back, but I can tell I gained a lot of inches. It's so depressing.

But, like I said, I'm going to keep looking ahead and do the best I can. I will know when I get there. I'm really not one to let myself go too far and lose too much, ya know? I will stay within a healthy range.

Help me make healthier choices. I did okay today. I had some shells and cheese and a fruit smoothie. For dinner I'm eating a salad. I didn't have breakfast b/c I slept late (ethan was up from 2-5) and I also didn't make it to the gym. Scotty is home and doesn't want me to go now.

Anyway, I'm so much hungrier when I get home from the gym. I don't eat anything 'heavy' b/c I just can't anymore, but I want to eat ALL day long. I feel like I'm not satisfied. Tomorrow is weigh in and I know I've had a bad week. My pants are fitting SO tight again. I really must lose this weight. I'm so ashamed. All of you are doing so well and I have fallen so far behind.

Aimee. I'm right there with you. Ever since Dh got home I seem to have lost my mojo for losing weight loss. I gained several pounds and the scale is going UP not down.

We just have to take it one day at a time and hope we lose some weight quickly to jump start our motivation.

Thanks Karen. I do so awful when Scotty is around. What is it about men and wanting to eat all the time around them?

Bleagh. Up .08 pounds. I hope it is b/c AF is around the corner, but I know it is probably b/c I've been eating so much of the wrong things for the past week.

I need energy and willpower. I'm having to force myself to get to the gym. I used to love going. I think a lot of it is the weather. I just want to hibernate right now and not leave the house.

I'm rambling. I'm going to get it in gear and quit making excuses.

Aimee. The weather does have a lot to do with it. We've had more days than I can count here in Illinois where there is absolutely NO sun and it's cold and dreary. I know it's no help at motivating me to work out, but I think it's because I so desperately want to get OUT and exercise not be stuck inside to do it.

You'll get there.

Hang in there Aimee, both Karen and myself are right there with you. We will lose this weight.

I was pretty frustrated this morning, but I didn't let my feelings get the better of me. I went to the gym feeling so fat and ugly and ended up turning all that negativity into something positive. I was burning it today. I got in a good cardio workout and did some strength training on top of it.

Then I headed over to the store (it's right next to the gym) and bought some HEALTHY food. I think one of the problems I faced this past week was not having anything healthy on hand when I got a craving. The store just so happened to have their WW frozen treats on sale and I grabbed a bunch of 1-2 point stuff. I also got some meals to make lunch time a little easier on me.

I'm feeling like I'm going to be very successful this time around.

*HUFF* *HUFF* *HUFF*

I just got home from the gym and decided to plop in front of the computer a minute to rest. I did an hour of pretty intense cardio (one level up from where I usually am) and really had to push myself towards the end. I tried so hard not to stop right in the middle and give up. So, I'm pretty proud of myself for going the full hour.

While I was on the elliptical I'd look over at myself in the mirror and it made me want to I felt like I was jiggling everywhere.

I'm doing good on my eating since I bought a lot of healthy food. I sure hope to show a loss next week. My first goal is approaching rather quickly.

Great job Aimee, I only wish I had the time to workout during the day, but I have to go to work instead. You will definitely be silmming soon.

Yes, really I have no excuses to not be there. I'm pretty fortunate that I'm able to go during the day.

I need to pack my bag and get it back in the van, so I can at least go walk druing lunch, or at least the days I can get out.

WTG AMIEE you can do it.

AF is here. I know you all are wondering WHY I'm doing a happy dance b/c of AF. Well, it's b/c for 2 whole weeks before she gets here I'm starving for the most fattening and ridiculous things you can think of. As soon as she shows up my appetite slows down to a halt and I don't crave anything at all. I'd rather not even look at food. Weird, I know. Besides, I have so much more energy when she is here (and the week after) and I'm not bloated anymore. True, I have to deal with cramps and headaches, but my workouts help with that (some).

My meals for the day:

Breakfast: Oatmeal
Snack: goldfish crackers
Lunch: Healthy Choice dinner
Snack: granola bar
Dinner: pork chop, hominy and green beans

I had some water at the gym (16 oz) and Diet Rite the rest of the day. I need to increase my water intake, I know.

26 days until my first goal. I'm not sure if I can make it. 10 lbs is a lot to lose in 4 weeks.

The kids and I just got back from the gym. I did 30 mins elliptical and 30 mins stationary bike. It was a great cardio workout. I'm sore today, too....from my strength training yesterday. Okay, that gives me 4 days of exercise this week. Tomorrow I will get up and run (the gym is closed).

In my fitness magazine this month there is an article titled "How Healthy Are You?" It had a lot of good information, but the one thing that really caught my eye and has given me the most thought is the section titled "Record how much weight you've gained since high school." I know how much I weighed when I graduated high school (110 lbs), and I know how much I weigh now (155 lbs), I've just never done the subtraction and it's pretty disgusting that I've gained SO much. I will be honest...110 is waaaaaay too small for my frame. It was then, too. I was underweight then and will never get that small again. This article says "If it's more than 11 pounds, aim to shed that amount; this will go a long way toward improving your health and lowering your chances for disease..." It goes on to talk about the health benefits and risk of disease, etc.

It just had me thinking about how being overweight is so acceptable now. There are a lot of people who are not overweight, but aren't healthy, kwim? The ones who are overweight are just a little more obvious IMO. My goal is to be healthy. A lot of people tell me I look good at 150 and that I don't need to lose anymore weight, but looking good doesn't matter...I'm simply not healthy at this weight. 150 is NOT acceptable to me. Not when 120-125 is my normal and was normal before having my children. Now that I have had children, I don't even think 120 should be my normal....I still consider that small for me. So, I will stick with my goals and go from there.

I take most of what these magazines say with a grain of salt. Like the comments about exercise that always make me feel like I'm not doing enough. I still stick with the 30 mins of moderate exercise daily is good for your heart. I try to do a little more than that b/c I'm wanting to lose weight and tone some areas.

I only got 30 mins of cardio in today. Ethan wasn't too happy back in the daycare part so we just left. That's okay. At least I got 30 mins in.

I didn't do too well on my eating this weekend. I'm pretty frustrated that I can't seem to stay on track. I'm thinking about attending WW meetings to help out with that.

This week I'm going to work on avoiding the white stuff (carbs, sugar and salt) and I need to increase my water intake.

I doubt I show a loss on Wednesday. I'm not doing the best I can...there is room for improvement.

just think positive Amiee, baby steps.

I agree.

BABY STEPS! I find when I go "balls to the wall" I fail miserably. Just take it one day at a time.

I'm not sure I could even start with cutting out whites. Course I could never do that anyways, they are my friends. I just have to have them in moderation.

We are all in this together. We'll get to where we want to together.

There is no way I can omit whites altogether and I have been eating them in moderation, but what gives?

It's only been 2 weeks. I can do this.

Could it be you aren't eating enough? Or just plateaued and need to jumpstart? I know with WW they say eat your points one day, eat over the next, eat under the enxt, etc, etc. I sorta did that this past weekend and I hope it pays off.

Hang in there!

It could be that I'm not eating enough, but I have no idea. I think that is why I need to go to WW. They can tell me what I'm doing wrong, I guess. It's so hard to figure all of this out. I know when I was doing this before I hit a plateau...When I started eating more (to make up for all the exercise, I guess) I started losing. A lot of things could factor into why I'm not losing (AF, muscle gain, etc) It. Is. So. Frustrating.

I know one thing...I won't be stuck at 150 for the rest of my life. This weight has got to come off.

I didn't make it to the gym this morning. This frustrates me to no end. BUT my mother called and she really needed to talk to me about some things and we ended up talking for over an hour. Now Ethan is down for his nap and by the time he wakes up the gym daycare will be closed. They open back up at 4. Scotty is supposed to come home early today. I will *try* to go to the gym when he gets home. He doesn't like for me to leave once he is home.

I had a good breakfast (something I don't always do b/c I'm not a breakfast person) and I'm still full. I have no idea what to eat for lunch or dinner. I guess I better figure something out.

Tomorrow is weigh in. (and it is weighing in on my brain like you wouldn't believe!! )

From now on I really need to be honest with myself. I noticed yesterday how I would compensate certain things and make excuses. For instance, "I exercised today...this extra piece of bread will be okay" or on occasion I would just grab something to eat and not even be hungry.

Also, I need to stop eating after 8 p.m. The kids go to bed at that time so a lot of times I will plop in front of the TV and munch on fattening foods without even thinking about it.

I have a journal. Obviously I have the one here, but I also have another handwritten journal and I need to write everything down that I put into my mouth to keep me honest.

A lot of my motivation comes from the WW books that I do have. I only have 2 and they are pretty old, but the first book gives meal ideas for a certain number of points and gives strategies and tips to help lose weight. It is motivating to read that. I just need to remember to pull those out when I'm in a slump. I also like to read magazines. I have some old WW and Fitness magazines. It helps me to look at those.

I had a dream last night that we went on a family vacation to the beach and I had met my goal weight and was wearing a bikini. It felt so awesome to be sitting there on the beach knowing I had accomplished so much. I probably had this dream b/c Scotty and I were talking about our vacation plans for the summer. We decided to wait on the Montana/Washington trip...atleast for a few years (b/c of $$) and go to the beach instead. Which is what I really want to do anyway. We'll see if it really happens. For now it is a nice thought, though and gives me some encouragement to lose.

I also changed my ticker to show what I lost before. That's 10 pounds I did lose and worked hard to lose. I can't forget that.

Good for you Aimee for seeing what you need to do right, and what you are already doing right. You will get there, we all will. And I agree, count those 10 pounds you already lost! I know I would. It's motivation to say, hey I lost this much, I can lose even more!