How old is too old, bathing question

[My2Beauties]

Ok so Hanna turns 6 in November. A lot of times Brian will help me with the kids when they get their baths. Now at this point in time Hanna is definitely not leary of being naked in front of her daddy, it doesn't bother her at all. We definitely don't allow Hanna to see Brian naked at all, but we do still have him assist me with giving them baths, making sure the shampoo is out of her hair, making sure she washes her body well with soap, etc. Now how old is too old for a girl for daddy to assist? I can remember Desiree as a younger girl, I came into her life at 6 years of age. Around late 7, early 8 Desiree was already developing and getting hair in certain places etc...so it got uncomfortable for her even for me to see her naked (she was at the awkward stage now she doesn't care so much) but obviously it was at that point that Brian and I knew he no longer needed to assist her and she was def old enough to give herself a bath I just helped her ensure all soap was out of hair etc... Now my question is does it stop when those things start to happen or should it stop sooner? We didn't have Desiree every single day, maybe once or twice a week and a lot of times her mom would say Des had already had a shower or Des didn't need a bath this evening, she took one that morning etc..so it was a non-issue, on the few occassions she did, I just was the one to help her, Brian never even stepped foot in the room (even at 6) because it was so rare. But with both of the kids and supper and everything now he helps me out a little more than he used to (partially because of my constant whining about this LMBO) so I'm wondering when it's no longer ok in everyone's eyes.

[coasterqueen]

IMO when the child makes it known they are uncomfortable. Kylie hasn't told Ryan she's uncomfortable with it and when she does, he will stop doing it. I'm sure it won't be long. She usually takes a shower anyways, so she doesn't need us. She's been doing that for quite some time now and Megan does on occasion as well. But the rare times they do decide to take a bubble bath, etc, he helps out.

[A&A'smommy]

I think I agree with Karen.. I can remember when I started to get uncomfortable I was probably about 8 or 9 and that's when that stopped. Of course by then I could bathe myself without any problems. Alyssa is fine with it right now so I guess we have a little while before we have to worry about that.. her daddy checks her hair after her baths for me sometimes and also will help her pick clothes out (which I tell him not to because she is big enough now and KNOWS what she needs she is just lazy sometimes and wants her daddy to do it). But I do not allow her to be naked in front of friends who are men or even little boys and we also don't let her run around in panties if other people are over (that are men) she has to put pants or shorts on. Just because I feel weird about it.

[mom21kid2dogs]

Olivia has been a lifelong nudist . She really has very little modesty even at almost 9. Actually, my husband is far more uncomfortable at this point in seeing her naked than she is. I agree with Karen, though, most children make it known when their uncomfort level kicks in.

[redchief]

I agree with Karen, because I've been there, done that and worn out the t-shirt. Quite honestly bath time moved out of my comfort zone before it did theirs. I don't think I helped with baths and what-not after they were 6 or 7. I don't remember coming to the decision, it just kind of evolved, if you understand.

[ProudMama2]

I think you kind of just know when they're ready. I have boys, and it'd be a pain if I had to have their dad do all that. Though, for the most part, I do have them wash themselves and leave them alone for a bit before helping them dry and dress, etc.

[Kentuckychick]

I remember my dad and mom both giving me a bath after my hernia surgery when I was 10 and it was the first time I really remember feeling uncomfortable with the whole thing and probably because it was the first time in a little bit that they'd bathed me and it was awkward all around... (my mom had to hold the bandages and plastic over the wound while my dad hosed me off). It was really no big deal... I just remember realizing at that time that maybe I was getting to old for it...

Up until I was six or seven though our father regularly bathed my younger brother and I together, because he was the one who was really "good" at it... in other words, we had the most fun when mom was in another room not hendering our mess making... hehe.

I really do think she'll let you know when the time comes... the kids I nanny for are now 3, 8 and 11 and I tell ya, the 8 year old girl is CONSTANTLY hollering for me to come in the bathroom when she's in the tub cause she needs her hair shampooed better... then rinsed... can I get her a cup... can I make the water hotter, but not too hot. She does not care at all. The 11-year-old, I wouldn't go in regardless, but I swear a year or so ago, the boy would come flying out of the bathroom buck nekid, stripping through the house and up to his bedroom (despite my repeated reminders that there are towels in the bathroom for a REASON) just because haha... how funny.

Kids really have no qualms about their nakedness until they have BIG qualms about it and then, they let you know. I'd just say to listen to her and watch for the cues... and if your husband starts to feel uncomfortable before she does then let him know it's okay not to do it anymore.

This post has been edited by Kentuckychick on Sep 15 2009, 09:01 PM

[My2Beauties]

Thanks guys, I appreciate all of your advice. I honestly think you're right, I think he'll feel uncomfortable before Hanna does.

[mckayleesmom]

I don't think most kids know they should be modest until somebody points it out to them..


Mckaylee is 6 and already showers in the morning before school by herself. She has for about 2 years now. She gets outraged if I try to help her...so I don't..I just remind her if its the day she is suppose to wash her hair or not.

My kids have always been in charge of washing their own parts since they were old enough to understand what the parts were.

[DVFlyer]

Chloe is 6 and is able to wash herself- but I've given her a bath now and then.

I watch her to see if I think she feels weird having Dad give her a bath. I think she's getting to the point where it's a little embarrassing- but I think that may have more to do with Mom planting the idea in her head..

Realistically, once they can wash themselves, neither mom or dad need to be there.

Although Michelle doesn't have any problems being naked in front of her mom.... or my mom.

This post has been edited by DVFlyer on Oct 7 2009, 08:39 AM