Need advice!!!

Jenna has become so defiant its unreal! im thinking its because so much has changed she is just finding it hard to explain how she truely feels , and she is a very sensitive girl! I know its partly because of breanna but we have done so much one on one with her, and she helps big time with her and she loves her sister!!! But so much stuff has been happeningin her little life:

~Baby breanna being born
~Marcus working nights and not being there at bedtimes anymore
~Jennas dad and his GF keep getting back together and then breaking up, so he moves in with her takes jenna for sleep overs and then moves out 3 months later and sleep overs stop which means she doesn't see her baby brother as much either.

Jenna will throw outrageous tantrums, scream ta us, yell i don't want you to be my mommy anymore, I don't like you, i can do this if i want, i don't have to listen to you. Picks on the dayhome kids, yells, screams etc. yesterday afternoon jenna wanted to watch cartoons. So i said yes. she picks up the remote and because there is 2 huge toys blocking the sensor she couldn't change it. I said all she had to do was to move them. Then she asked if i would change it, i said yes but again you need to move those toys. She says NOOOOO, i don't like that!!!! Then i said well thats the only way you can or i can change it. She picked up the remote off the ground and started to hit it against the computer chair. I took it away AND SAID YOU JUST LOST TV TIME FOR THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON. she then runs off and yells, i don't like you!!! i ignored her behavior because at this point she was wanting the neg attention. she got so mad i wasn't responding so she yelled louder and lou8der. Then she ran off up the stairs screaming!!!!

she is so out of control sometimes. the things she yells at us, and how loud she can get and being so bloody bossy to any child that comes into our house. Let me just say this..THANK GOSH for school on sept 2nd...

so any advice???

Shelly, Jenna has gone through a lot of changes and she may not remember life before Marcus on a conscious level but subconsciously, she is dealing with going from having you all to herself for 4 years to sharing you with Marcus, a dayhome full of children who probably play with her toys and invade her "space" and a baby sister, not to mention all that goes on with her dad. I think she's just reacting the only way she knows how.
First off, I would just ignore the tantrums and tell her if she wants something she has to ask you in a normal way that you can understand. When my godson was smaller he threw the biggest screaming fits in public because his mom gave him whatever he wanted just to get him to shut up but with me, I just ignored him, strapped in his stroller (even when he was 4, if we went somewhere that required a lot of walking, I took his stroller along) and let him scream till he was blue in the face...the screaming fits went away quickly because he realized they weren't getting him anywhere. Also, when she screams, try talking to her really quietly...they have to stop screaming in order to hear you if you speak very softly. I know it's counterintuitive because when someone screams at you the natural reaction is to scream back or respond loudly.
Honestly, I think it's a normal phase for a little girl going through all that and this too shall pass. But I would discourage her behavior as much as possible and if the screaming and tantrums don't stop then send her right to her room the minute they start so she knows she won't have an audience when she acts like that. Without an audience, a tantrum has no value to a child.

oh i agree. thats why i knwo she is acting out of all the chnages. It would be tough on me let alone a 6 yr old...

Al is starting to spread her wings a little in the same way, and I have made it clear that I won't tolerate it. If we are at home and she starts acting up, for her it is screaming and throwing herself on the floor she gets immediately removed from the room, taken up to her room and she is allowed to have her tantrum there, by her self with the door closed . When she is calm and ready to "be nice" she can come back out.

How old is she again, Shelly? I know she's older than Megan so this won't help, but Megan does the same very thing. Although her OT and I agree that Megan's behavioral patterns are more in tune with a 3 year old, not a 4.5 year old, but she's always been very behind behaviorally since birth and her sensory issues cause even more problems.

I'm sure a lot of it is change. Was she acting this way before, just not as bad?

We do that same thing. Megan will sit in her room and scream/tantrum for 45 minutes straight though, then come out and say she's calmed down, then do the same thing again - straight back to her room where she continues tantruming for another 45 minutes.

She will be 7 in nov. Yes she was always yellinga nd stuff at the kids but never ever defiant like she is to us. It started when all these changes emerged

We do that same thing. Megan will sit in her room and scream/tantrum for 45 minutes straight though, then come out and say she's calmed down, then do the same thing again - straight back to her room where she continues tantruming for another 45 minutes.

yeah. its like she can't help but scream, it comes from her soul, and she can't calm down until she screams it out. She sounds like she is being murdered. I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called CPS yet.

We do that same thing. Megan will sit in her room and scream/tantrum for 45 minutes straight though, then come out and say she's calmed down, then do the same thing again - straight back to her room where she continues tantruming for another 45 minutes.

yeah. its like she can't help but scream, it comes from her soul, and she can't calm down until she screams it out. She sounds like she is being murdered. I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called CPS yet.

Yeah, we live in the country and our neighbors are family - they probably think I mistreat Megan anyways. But yeah, same thing here. It's kinda funny (and not) because the 1st time Megan did that I thought to myself "oh my, I remember doing the very same thing as a child".

She will be 7 in nov. Yes she was always yellinga nd stuff at the kids but never ever defiant like she is to us. It started when all these changes emerged

Yeah, that's not a normal 7 year old behavior, IMO. I would just tell her if she's going to throw tantrums to go to her room until she is ready to come out and behave. Also, what I would try to do is when she goes to her room, go with her and sit and talk with her a minute and ask why she is doing such things.

Your post made me think of Kyleigh..She has been acting the SAME way as Jenna..She gets mad and yells and walks of saying I don't like you and you are mean etc..She will also be 7 in november...Maybe it is just a 6 1/2 yr old girl thing..But either way,I don't know how much more sanity I have to deal with it..

I went throug the same thing with Emily. She eventually outgrew it and I just ignored her temper tantrums. Hang in there, she's just dealing with a lot!!!