Spending Time, How do you properly allocate your time?

Hello everyone, I am sure this isn't new to you but how do you manage to spend your time with so many things to do?????

I have a job that requires an enormous amount of time behind a computer and sometimes it carries on home.

I have tried to practice things like spend time with the kids and wife at night and set the alarm at 4am to wake up and work. Well I am too tired and turn the alarm OFF.

Or I try to spend time on the AM and work at night but then the kids don't let me and wife gets mad

Anyway i just can't seem to organize a proper time plan that both allows me to do my computer things and also the kids and wife.

I do feel that I spend most of my time behind the computer and YES! I have heard that isn't good.

But how do I balance???

Sometimes it is hard to balance so much at once, but the one thing I have learned is it is more important on the quality of time spent with your family instead of the amount of time.

My DH can be home all day Saturday just lying on the couch watching t.v. and we could spend no time together, even though he is with us or he could be gone all day and come home and spend an hour playing board games with us and chatting with me for 15 minutes before bed and that means more to me and the girls then him being here all day.

That is a very good point. Sometimes just playing in bed at night makes me even feel closer.
i think what has happened is that I have stuck in my head the fact that I need to see and count the time/days in order to make it valid. But from what you are saying I think i should not even worry about that. I should just try and spend some great time even if it is just tad bit.

Thank you for your reply there.

My DH works afternoons and our oldest daughter (9) is in school all day, so he doesn't get to see her because he leaves for work before she gets home from school. It's hard on him, but what he has done is he gets her up for school so he can at least spend an hour a day with her and then he'll go back to bed. I feel bad because I stay home and sleep in everyday, but this is his time with her, so until he says he doesn't want to do it I will continue to sleep in. LOL - at least until this baby is born.

Also, keep the communication open with your wife and she should let you know if she feels you are pushing her and your children off to the side and then plan a special outing or something.

Are you my husband?

That is the life that we are leading. It really bothers me when my DH is gone all day, then gets directly on the computer when he gets home. Lately he has been getting home around 6, we eat dinner, he plays with the kids, we put them to bed around 8:30, then he is right on the computer and stays there until about 10:30. He also gets up around 4 am to work. I keep telling myself that things will get better in a few years, and its supposed to be hard in the beginning, but its been 3 years now. I am trying to be supportive of him tho, so I tolerate him not having time for me, but he WILL spend time with his children.
I'll tell you what I tell him. Hire and assistant.

I'm a SAHM and I still can't manage to spend as much time as I'd like with my kids One thing I religiously do though is set the timer for 15 minutes just to play....not trying to fold laundry or do the dishes while talking to them, etc. It works for us, even "just" 15 minutes, as long as they have my undivided attention, goes a long way. Sometimes we're having so much fun I don't even notice the timer but on the days I'm feeling crunched for time I'd rather sacrifice 15 or 20 minutes of cleaning than them

There never seems to be enough time, but I have to admit that I neglected my job when me kids were younger. I mean I did my work, but I was no employee of the month. I just thought being with my kids as much as I could when they were little was more important than climbing the employment ladder. It was a matter of priorities for me.

One word of warning, though, I have no doubt that spending more time with my kids hurt my income. To me the time was more important than the raise.

My DH has a similar situation but he travels at least one night a week too.

He will usually take the girls after dinner and go for a walk, to the store, play games...whatever. Then he gives them their bath while I work in the evenings & he puts them to bed with a story.

After they are asleep, we both sit on the couch and work a couple of hours before bed.

We also make sure to do one "family day" each weekend which involves canoeing, a museum trip, playground and picnic or whatever. Then we each swap off child care the next day and I'll have them for half the day and he will have them the other. That allows us both to get projects done.

Balance is really difficult when you are either the main breadwinner of the family and, in some ways, it's even harder when both spouses are working. I've tried most of the suggestions mentioned above and all of them work. . .sometimes and in some situations. Usually the most effective approaches for me are the ones that include less sleep; that seems to always be the sacrifice. Staying up later, getting up earlier, or both. And yes, I've heard complaints from wife and children alike that I'm "too tired" if I've gone without sleep to get work done, so that I can spend time with them at night or whatever. There's no good answer, except to keep looking for a good answer.

Seriously, I think the key is not to give up. FYI--I've seen some good info on staying balanced (as well as other great advice on being a dad) at Savvy Daddy, which can be found at www.savvydaddy.com. They've got a lot of advice for dads--new and old.

If you figure something out, please, let us know!

Good luck!

This is exactly how my DH feels and thinks..and so do I. My DH could be traveling everywhere, making LOTS more money, higher in his company, etc, but it doesn't do our family well. WE need him to be a part of our family in every respect and he knows that and that is what he wants as well. We are both that way about our jobs. We are definitely much happier this way.

*cough* year old thread *cough*

Oops. Sorry. When I viewed new posts this morning this one was there, so I replied. There was another post in front of mine, this morning, so that's why it came up as a new topic. I see now that the post of the person before me was deleted. So technically I didn't bring it back up.

Oops. Sorry. When I viewed new posts this morning this one was there, so I replied. There was another post in front of mine, this morning, so that's why it came up as a new topic. I see now that the post of the person before me was deleted. So technically I didn't bring it back up.

I do that all the time, since I almost exclusively use the "todays topics" button. Interesting to see that it was nearly EXACTLY one year since the last post tho.

Now I'm freelancer and have much more time for my son ages 5, before I works fulltime and hard to manage my time to a lot of works at home and company, although when you become freelancer, your salary is reduced, this is difficult dicision between family and work.

I think it all works for everyone of us different. For my schedule, I'm out the door during the week while everyone is still sleeping and don't get home till around 7-730pm and we're getting them to bed around 9-930pm. So I try not to watch any TV or do anything else (maybe 15 minutes on the computer) when I get home and spend as much time as I can with the wife, helping around the house, and playing with the kids in the evenings.
On the weekends I'll be a little bit more selfish and maybe watch some sports or play some xbox (I never grew out of that lol), but in the afternoons or in the evenings we'll go to the park or all of us will go for a walk somewhere that's if there isn't some family function to attend.
Another time when I get some real good time with them is the rare times I can get my wife out of the house w/o us so I'm alone with them, than I have their full attention, so possibly your wife is better about that than mine and you can have the kids to yourself.
Really what it all comes down to is dedicating some time to them and willing to sacrifice of yourself.

I do understand your situation here, it's really hard to manage work and time with family. the good thing for me though is that I'm working at home and I have no problem spending time with my family especially with my kid.

I think that it's best that every night even if you're busy with your work, even just during dinner maybe or before the kids go to sleep you at least spend time with them even like 30 minutes or so. Take a break from work and have fun with your family.

I can relate to this post, especially if you are the main breadwinner. Bills have to get paid, and duties demand our precious time.
IMO, no matter how much you make, or demading your job it, your children have got to be a top priority. Yes, we must show up at work and that is understood.
However, when work is done (you must leave it at work, or limit its "after hours") invest time into your children.

About 8 years ago, my wife suddenly passed away and left me with 3 very young children. For about 1 year, my life was upside down and priorities in competition. If you don't invest the time into your children now, later you will have to pay for that in counseling, bad grades, low self esteem, etc. They need your time now.
Set up a "family" night or kid's night where they choose an activity for 30 minutes.
Set the table with them. Attend 1 field trip a semester with their class. Check their homework with them. Read them a bedtime story. Tuck them in with an evening message or prayer.

It can be done. It is not easy. But it is necessary. My children have full hearts, and are loving and grateful happy little creatures (well, not so little anymore).
You must decide and ACT, then you can make a difference.
(got carried away on my first post...)
Dennis and Kids

This is a great topic....

I recently had to make a major change in my life regarding this area. I had a job that was taking 50 hours to complete a week, plus trying to launch my own business in the evenings. With 2 kids, it was very hard to spend time with my kids and get my work done. In the end, I decided to get out of my career and pursue my own business more seriously. I know that isn't ideal for everyone, so here's my suggestions...

1. Set a schedule with your wife - If your wife knows that you are going to need a set time frame to get your work done, she will respect that time frame if it means that you will be spending time with the kids afterwards. Just be sure to stop working at the time you agree upon.

2. Get your kids involved as much as you can - This once again may not be ideal if you are working on the computer, but what I did was get a second laptop for my daughter and played you tube videos on it. She could sit with me and quietly watch her shows while I got my work done.

3. Don't forget your wife - When I had the schedule I mentioned above, my wife was the one who suffered. I would spend my extra time with the kids, which left no time for her. Trust me, you want her on your side through your work efforts, not against.

Hope this helps!

Could dads ever have sufficient time to go round?

In today 's mobile world, with all the pressures, working dads have become familiar strangers in their homes.

In the final analysis, it borne down to choice. Each of us have got to decide what really counts; his family or his job.

As a parent, the wealth of the world can't buy you the joys of witnessing your kids' growth and development.

Sorry, those milestones don't give prior notice. You just got to be there!

good advice msiferllc

It's all about what YOUR priorities are and how well you are able to work together with your significant other.

MKD

I definitely agree that quality matters much more over quantity. Try to prioritize and set a system that will allow you to dedicate some time with your family. Set a goal to have work completed by a certain time of the week and set one hour a day or one day a week you dedicate to your family. What is something you all enjoy doing?

This post has been edited by mommy_2_3 on Jan 31 2013, 01:10 AM

Its very difficult to manage everything at one time, specially when kids & wife is asking for your quality time. The best way to manage this problem is to sit with your near ones whenever you have time, there shouldn't be any fixed time to be allotted to be with the family. Since family members does expect your co. anytime of the day to spend some good time with you. Hence don't feel embarrassed with current situation at office, dig out some time what you have & enjoy the same with your family.

I think for an individual to manage the time along with the respective job is quite a tough task. I think this can be made simpler by a managing the leisure time you have in such a way that you got to spend some time with your family and children as well.

Well these kind of issues is pretty common with most of the fathers, who are finding it difficult to balance personal & official life. But i would suggest you not to try out anything extra, since the same may hurt you. It is better to find out some leisure time from your work whereby you can take out your wife & kids. So that you guys can spend a precious time altogether without grudge in anyone's mind.