Not sure where this should go -

So I'm sorry if it's in the wrong place, I don't know if I just need to vent or what.

Andrew and I split up about 7 months ago. I was out of town dealing with the stuff with Mikee, and had been there a little over a week when he decided he wanted a divorce. Things haven't been good for a long time, but I really didn't realize they were that bad. And we had also just found a couple weeks before that I was pregnant so I thought they would start getting better. Guess I was wrong on all counts.

Well, so he leaves me, pregnant with legal bills out the nose because of the court case with Michael. This pregnancy has been exceptionally rough on me with some health problems that I didn't have to deal with, with the other two. Mostly because of stress. I have spent a good portion of the pregnancy in the hospital. Most of the time just down the street from him, without so much as a how are you feeling? from him, and heck I don't know what I expected. I didn't and don't want him back in my life. Because I'm not going to live the way we lived any longer. I simply want no part of that life anymore. But since I come back to Nashville to be closer to my daughter and I believed some things he told me, which turned out to be his same old horse hockey, he has been keeping this "running talley" of everything he claims I owe him.

Now granted, I do owe him for some things, but I haven't once asked him for help with the baby, or anything like that. Since he swears it's not his child I just didn't want the fight. Well tonight he e-mails me telling me that if I don't start paying him $300/month he's going to tell them where the car is and Now this is AFTER he told me just a few weeks ago that he was going to take care of the car payment because he knows I haven't been able to afford to with everything I've been dealing with. I do good to make $200/week working full time and out of that I have to pay bills, prepare for a newborn, and pay child support. I don't know what I am going to do. My family can't afford to help and I can't ask them because I know what kind of shape they are in financially. He gives me this line about how he "Just can't afford it anymore" and that's fine. And it would be something I'd accept if he weren't making close to $7000 a month and such. I know the lifestyle he lives, and how he brags about everything he buys for his girlfriend (who lives with him as do her 3 kids and she doesn't work - and he pays her like $600/month for her living expenses) and stuff. I guess I'm just hurt because he has once again succeeded in making me feel like a failure and less of a person because I'm struggling to make it on my own right now.

I'm sorry, I know it sounds like I'm whining. I just feel like he knows that I'm having a really hard time making it, and he will do anything he can to kick me while I'm this down. And I feel like it's punishment because I have gotten to where I don't even associate with him at all. I will talk about our daughter (Andrea) but that is it. And he associates money with success so in his eyes I'm nothing but a failure as a person and especially as a parent since I can't afford to give Andrea what he can and I'm having to struggle to make it with this baby.

I thought you were in Arkansas and he was in Arizona?

Anyway, the situation really stinks, I'm so sorry he's not being supportive as the father of this baby I hope you're planning to prove paternity and get child support....does Andrea live with him now, or you? If she's with you would it help at all to make a trade, like he makes the car payment instead of child support?

I'm sorry things have been so rough this go around too It sucks to be judged on finances, most of us have been in a place that we'd be considered pathetic if that was all there was to it, don't buy into him defining you that way...it has nothing to do with who you are or what kind of mom you are

This post has been edited by luvmykids on Jan 10 2008, 10:43 PM

Take him to court and the judge will make him pay for everything I've seen it so many times here when I sat in on court cases Maybe they do the same there.

I'm so sorry your going through all of this hun. Call me if you ever need to talk.

Who has your daughter? Who is going to have the new baby?

Sweety that is soooo far from whining!

does he have your daughter?

I hope things settle down for you and things get better

If you're SURE the baby is his then get child support and keep the "running talley" on him. Make sure the courts are reminded how he has not helped you at all while you're sick w/HIS baby. (yea yours too, but you know)



I hope it gets better in the near future for you...

I don't know what to say, but I'm sending you lots of .

Keep your head up. I know it is hard being strapped for cash. This may be dense but can you think of anything you could go without for a while till things turn around. Cable tv, cell phone, internet..Maybe not internet because you need us but you know what i mean?

he sounds like a true A-1 jerk Is he paying child support for your daughter?

Sorry I've been avoiding coming back to this post, just didn't seem to want to think about this stuff right now.

I was in the hospital when he left for Arizona, and he took her with him. And she was out of town visiting his mom when he pulled this divorce stuff and I was in Spokane supposed to be going to get her the following weekend from her mom's but all of a sudden she went to Texas to visit his dad. I'm positive this baby is his. Never had a doubt in my mind.

And I'm slowly learning what a jerk he has been over the years. I actually send our daugther clothes and things, I don't send money because he's not the best with money.

So you have no kids with you now
Shesh you lost Mikey and now your daughter that sucks hun
Is he going to try and get the baby also?

He'll only have her until our divorce is final. I have no intentions of letting him keep her. That wasn't ever part of the equation. It's just been a matter of ability to get her and stuff. And no he isn't going to come near this baby if I can help it.

Very good

Im sorry this is happening to you. I hope Andrea and Mikey are home with you soon and things start looking up.