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> I don't really belong here, I know
Danalana
Posted: Apr 20 2007, 02:38 PM
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If mothering was easy, FATHERS would do it.
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I am a member on one other message board and it is mostly teenagers and early twenties. Since I just turned 33, I don't really belong there. I don't belong here for the obvious reason....but I AM trying to have a baby, if that counts.

The thing is, I really struggle with depression. I think it's to the point that it's affecting my physical health...my body hurts alot and I'm always tired. Before my chemical pregnancy in December, I had been taking Prozac for about 3 months. I stopped when I found out i was pregnant and I just didn't go back to it. I thought about starting it again, but I saw something on television today about it. There is a class-action suit for people whose unborn babies were harmed from mothers taking antidepressants. I know some people take them and their babies are fine. I just don't wanna do anything that could harm my baby, should I be lucky enough to have one.
Lately, all I want to do is put on my pajamas as soon as i walk in the door, and then turn out all the lights. I'm kinda sad that I don't have any close friendships here, but I'm not sure I would want to do anything anyway. I haven't heard much about the ED treatment center, as I can almost never reach my therapist. If my insurance had cooperated, I would be going into the center in 2 days bawling.gif Since I can never get my therapist, I don't have anybody else to talk to about anything...it just sort of builds in me. Im afraid I'm about to switch to the other side of the ED, which involves eating little and obsessing about everything that goes in my mouth. Then there's the obsessive exercising. I just feel like that's where this is headed because i can't stand how i look. I don't even have a baby as an excuse to be overweight.
As I sad, I know I don't really belong here...especially in the postpartum depression section. I just wanted to get it out somewhere. I really appreciate everyone being so nice to me on this board hug.gif


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PrairieMom
Posted: Apr 20 2007, 03:13 PM
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you aren't the only person here with no children. You are definitely welcome here. I don't think of you or your opinions any differently than any other person on this board. I do think tho that some of the subject matter here would be hurtful to you, knowing how hard you struggle. Hearing all the storied about children when you want one so badly yourself must be very hard for you. hug.gif I like having you around tho!
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Danalana
Posted: Apr 20 2007, 05:05 PM
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If mothering was easy, FATHERS would do it.
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Thank you, Tara...it is hard sometimes, but I just keep hoping my time is coming.
It's funny--everytime I start my period, I think about just stopping coming here. But then I think about all the people I love to read about, and I have to come.
Anyway, thank you for the kind words smile.gif


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StephanieM
Posted: Apr 20 2007, 06:22 PM
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I'm pretty new here, but I agree with PP, you are welcome. I know about depression and it can be tough. My SIL is having troubles TTC and her dr. told her that her depression will make it harder. Maybe you should try and get that under control, I know there are things you can take while pg or breastfeeding, I've taken some. I would definitely see about changing therapists, if that's possible. My DH had a therapist like that, that he saw for his bipolar 1 disorder....she never returned his calls, even when it was extremely serious. We found him a new place to go and they've been great and things are going great now. just wanted to say good luck to you. Hope everything gets better. Depression is tough. hug.gif


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Danalana
Posted: Apr 30 2007, 05:52 PM
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If mothering was easy, FATHERS would do it.
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sad.gif I feel so awful lately. I want to cry so much of the time, but I don't. I RARELY cry. Instead, I retreat inside myself and spend a lot of time in the dark. Part of my current trouble is that I am in the 2ww of my cycle. I know we did everything right, but I also know that I might get to the end of my cycle and start my period. I feel lonely a lot of the time, and my husband is definitely not a conversationalist. I don't have any real friends here. I have some surface friends...people who are content to stay on the surface and never go any deeper. All relationships like that do for me anymore is make me feel lonelier.
*sigh* I don't know why I'm even sharing this. Maybe I just needed to get it out.


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Maddie&EthansMom
Posted: Apr 30 2007, 05:56 PM
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hug.gif hug.gif I'm sorry hun. I wish I knew what to say. Just feel free to come here and vent anytime you need to. I think we all have down times. hug.gif hug.gif
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