My first pregnancy was awesome and easy in most ways, with my second I was sure I was carrying some kind of psycho alien!!
| Printable Version of Topic
Click here to view this topic in its original format |
| Parenting Club Forums > General Pregnancy and Labor Discussions > Baby / Non-Baby Mood Swings |
| Posted by: capitolc Oct 4 2011, 07:04 PM |
| As I'm still learning to be a supportive partner in this pregnancy, I'm having a hard time making the "baby" the reason for everything. We are in week 11 and as the mommy is going through her changes, I'm trying to be supportive but realistic at the same time. Things can't always be because of the baby can it? She has energy one day, then suddenly she's tired and cranky. I really don't understand her taste buds. Almost every time after she eats something, there is a taste in her mouth and her stomach hurts. Anybody else experienced (or experiencing) this? I kinda feel bad. She constantly calls out to me but I don't know what to do. Tummy hurts, breasts are sore, always tired.... I can't say anything to make these things go away. what can I do? |
| Posted by: ~Roo'sMama~ Oct 5 2011, 10:00 AM |
| Unfortunately, yeah... the baby can be to blame for all of those things! The first trimester is the worst in some ways - she's going through a LOT of changes in her body and all those changes can really make us tired and emotional! Once she's in the second trimester (around 13 weeks) it should get better as far as energy and morning sickness goes, so hang in there! |
| Posted by: MoonMama Oct 5 2011, 02:39 PM |
| Yep, what Sara said. My first pregnancy was awesome and easy in most ways, with my second I was sure I was carrying some kind of psycho alien!! |
| Posted by: Our Lil' Family Oct 5 2011, 03:14 PM |
| The good news is....you're almost into the 2nd trimester...which is BLISS compared to the 1st and the end of the 3rd. I think the best thing you could do is say, I'm sorry you aren't feeling well, are tired, etc and offer to do the dishes, fold the laundry, whatever would make it a little easier for her. Well, at least that what I would have loved to hear! haha |
| Posted by: ~Roo'sMama~ Oct 5 2011, 03:23 PM | ||
Amen!  |
| Posted by: grapfruit Oct 5 2011, 08:15 PM | ||||
Agreed! Or just stay the heck away!!! I just eventually got the "I don't understand why you don't feel good ever" Um, b/c there's a little GIRL growing in me!!!! (btw, my son did make me feel crappy at ALL) Just offer to do whatever while she lays on the couch and feels misrable  It'll pass! Now my husband gets nervous when I get in a "cleaning mood" and I have lots of energy, he always asks if I'm pregnant  dork |
| Posted by: youngmomofone Oct 9 2011, 07:58 AM |
I have to warn you, I'm one of those people who never get the 2nd trimester energy or hormones in check lol. I'm a mess through out the whollllle pregnancy  . But, I think I'm rare in that department because everyone I know usually is tons better by 13 weeks. |
| Posted by: capitolc Oct 12 2011, 03:24 PM |
| so, I know I'm suppose to be supportive, but geez ... I'm coming home late today and she's tired from work n in bed. After a rough day yesterday n early to bed, I just knew today was gonna be different. I guessed wrong! oh well, I'm off to pick up dinner again. (never fails) - rant over - |
| Posted by: PrairieMom Oct 13 2011, 04:44 AM | ||
Try to be patient. She is making a human being. It takes an incredible amount of energy. She has surging hormones, and lots of them wreaking havoc on her system. Imagine how you feel when you have the flu. you are miserable for a few days. She has been feeling like this for WEEKS. And just when you think you are feeling better, you catch a wiff of something , like coffee and bam-o! nausea all over again. Pregnancy does really really strange things to a woman, and after its all over, her body will never be the same. Hang in there. |
| Posted by: moped Oct 13 2011, 08:19 AM |
| There is no nice way to put this: Men will never understand, can't understand and are far too selfish to understand. She is growing a human being in her body. It makes her sick and EXTREMELY tired, moody etc etc. Yes, the baby is to blame for all this. In the end she has given you a child. My husband could never understand any of it and was totally unsupportive, which is why our relationship took a very long time to mend after having children. I am a very energetic person, when I was pg with my first I was in bed at 7pm for the night, I got alot of resentment for that........you can't possibly have any idea how tired a person gets. I could go on and on if you would like me to help you understand more!  |
| Posted by: A&A'smommy Oct 13 2011, 08:36 AM |
DUDE!! I'm just saying you are kinda being a jerk about this, what her body is doing is incredibly amazing, beautiful and SOOOOOOOO HARD!!! My first pregnancy was pretty easy except I was HORRIBLY tired and moody. My husband would make me laugh (he loves to make me laugh  ) and I would laugh until I cried.. it was SO embarrassing and frustrating but he was so sweet about it. She cannot help what is going on but at the end you are going to get something incredible out of you, you both are. Just try to appreciate what she is doing and show her kindness she will love you more for it. Ranting over having to get dinner because she feels too horrible to do it, is mean! But going to get dinner for you both out of love is special, and SO sweet! If you keep that attitude that you have about this whole ordeal you are both going to end up resenting each other and your baby. |
| Posted by: coasterqueen Oct 13 2011, 08:36 AM |
| Heck with my first I was asleep 24/7 except for the time I was at work every day. I don't think it really bothered my husband then because it's not like we had any real responsibility then, he could do just whatever. I had issues all through both my pregnancies, so I didn't feel great in my second trimester like some mentioned. In fact with my second I was on bed rest a lot. I never expected my husband to understand all that I was going through. How could he, he wasn't living it? BUT I did expect him to be supportive as much as he possibly could and I know that can be hard for men. It was harder for him with our second because since I was on bed rest a lot when I wasn't at work he had to constantly take care of our first. You just need to realize you can't possibly understand what her body is going through and BELIEVE what she says. Believe me, she's not making up excuses. Pregnancy is TOUGH and tough on our bodies while pregnant and years after (forever maybe? ). Just letting her know you are there for her, to listen to, to do whatever and to actually believe that it is a roller coaster for her will make all the difference. Honestly I don't know how ANYONE, female or male, could possibly think it's NOT DIFFICULT to be pregnant and grow a child. Seriously?! That child that is growing in her belly is taking things from her to grow itself. Her body is not the same and her mind is an emotional roller coaster. She has a lot more at stake emotionally because SHE is in charge of bringing this baby into the world healthy. Give her a break.  |
| Posted by: holley79 Oct 13 2011, 09:04 AM |
| OK first off if you keep acting this way and being a negative nelly you are going to impact her. Which in turn is going to lead to depression. Which is in turn going to leave her resentful toward you and the baby. Secondly, how about instead of complaining about going and picking up dinner come home with the idea of making dinner yourself. Something you know she will enjoy that will be easy on her tummy. Try and be a little more sensitive toward your wife. She is fixing to bringing the biggest blessing into this world. Can I make a suggestion for you and your wife will thank you for it? Go get the book Belly Laughs and read it. Read it with your wife. You will appreciate all of this a lot more. Most of all be Patient, when men can have babies you will see a stop in population because women are amazing creatures and you need to be appreciative of this. |
| Posted by: luvbug00 Oct 13 2011, 09:22 AM |
| Honestly I get that your annoyed and want that girl who went out at night to drinks with you or enjoyed your weekends doing fun things with friends. Well bud, she's gone! Make way for a better spouse! Durring the begining and the end of pregnancy you are dealing with some tough times. The middle is a little better. You need to take a deep breath. This is only 9 months. You need to calm her, pick up some extra chores, and take care of her. This is not soley her doing. Weither it was planned or not. Do you want her to look back and say "he was not understanding..we fought alot" or do you want her to look back and say " sure it was tough but he was there when i needed him". maybe you should read what to expect when your expecting together, would be a good bonding experience. I did the pregnancy thing alone. My partner was there psycially but emotionally i was alone. It stinks, it hurts and I will forever resesnt him runing what was supposed to be a special time. I cant even tell my daughter about my pregnancy becase she doesnt need to hear he wasnt there. When she is pregnant one day, she will ask.. what are you gonna say to your children when they ask the same? |
| Posted by: mummy2girls Oct 13 2011, 10:51 AM |
| Ok that attitude will get you only the street. Pregnancies can be hard on a woman and not hard. My first 2 it was easy... but my last... OMG I was horribly miserable. I was emotional, sickness until I was 8 months and then came back again in my last month, every known symptom you can get i got!My poor husband was getting the brunt but even though i put hi through the ringer he supported me and did everything to help me and make me feel better. He even had me laughing so hard one night ...lets just say i had to change my pj's...LOL. If you dont give your wife the support she needs and understand(try to) why she is feeling this way you ay have a really cranky lady on your hands. And she may resent you and the baby .... If you dont try you may have a whole whack of woman ready to kick your butt! LOL |
| Posted by: CantWait Oct 13 2011, 08:59 PM |
| I think everyone said all there is to say. I think you're catching a lot of slack, but you're among, mostly women on this board. Just keep focused on the bigger picture, be supportive, loving etc all that goo. Seriously though, Post Partum Depression will be a big issue before and after the baby if she doesn't find that you're supporting her. Enjoy watching your baby grow. |
| Posted by: A&A'smommy Oct 14 2011, 06:21 AM | ||
yeap. I was probably a little mean but I chose a bad day to read your post. |
| Posted by: capitolc Oct 14 2011, 07:14 AM | ||||
ha... and I picked a bad day to post as well. It's okay to be mean, A&Amommy. I can take it. Let me try to cool down the temperature here. I bet it will be hard, knowing this board is full of women - I accept that challenge. First, I am very supportive and caring and loving. I will never blow up or blame her for anything because it's not good for the baby. When this happened, I did not say anything negative to her. I kept a cool head, found out what was desired to eat, and then I left to get it. Believe it or not, there were no questions asked. I know I have now until the birth and the rollercoaster has already left the starting gates, and I am holding on tight and taking the highs with the many dips. The last thing I was is an unhappy place. At that time, I didn't expect two bad days back-to-back. I chose to vent a little online here because it wasn't needed in the house. And once I hit post, I felt better and it didn't bother further. It was just a moment. ....now, can I get those once in awhile!?? As a male, I will never know exactly what females go through during this process. But I will be there in every way I can. I have and I will continue. So if you could, please excuse my little rant. I hope to continue to share my highs and lows with you fine, experienced women (you too men if you are reading). I have nothing but respect |
| Posted by: Our Lil' Family Oct 14 2011, 10:23 AM |
| I'm glad you came here to vent and didn't say anything to your wife. It seems like you know to expect the unexpected for a while....and honestly, the after baby hormone fluctuations are just as bad, so don't expect normalcy right away. Keep your chin up, keep being supportive and you'll make it through this closer than ever! |
| Posted by: msoulz Oct 14 2011, 12:15 PM | ||
First, hello!  And congrats!!ITA with the above. This is a good place to vent. Better here than at home during this time. All of we women who went through pregnancy certainly should understand and appreciate that. And you too have to understand it is difficult for us to hear a man vent such things. It is a bit of a catch 22. But we can all play nice. |
| Posted by: gr33n3y3z Oct 15 2011, 04:13 PM | ||
|