I know I shouldn't complain but

I really think I'm going to lose my mind. I know I should be thankful I'm pregnant and my baby is healthy but I am really going to lose it.

I started spotting on Monday and it hasn't stopped . Usually it lasts a day or two and that's it..this time it's been a lot longer. So I called my doctor AGAIN and am awaiting her call back. The nurse asked this time if it's possible for me to come in right away if she needs me to and I said yes.

If I have to be put on bedrest for awhile or indefinately Ryan and I will be in some serious financial difficulty. I know that should be the least of my worries but it could mean loosing our home, seriously. I know I can claim short-term disability but that's not enough to cover my salary. AND I know employers can't do this but my boss will find a way to fire me...I can't imagine him keeping me if I"m gone for a long time. I actually don't blame him in this line of work either. Not only all that but that would mean Dh can't travel for work because he'd have to take care of Kylie and his job is so badly on the rocks right now that if he had to tell them he can't travel..I'm afraid that would be it for his job.

Sorry I know I should be thankful and I am but I'm just scared of what's going to happen to us financially with all of this.

Hopefully my doc will call soon so I can find out what she's going to tell me.

((((HUGS)))) you have a right to complain that is a LOT to take in and you had NO idea that it was going be this difficult this time around! I hope that it will stop so that you guys wont have any more problems. Let us know what she says I will be praying for you!!!!

Oh I'm so sorry! Your being worried and not feeling particularly thankful is perfectly understandable right now. I'm sorry I don't have any advice or anything I just wanted to offer my support.

Karen, you had no idea it was going to be this rough! It's perfectly natural to worry so much. I hope everything is OK with the baby. It will work out for the best. God doesn't give you anything you can't handle.

Karen, it's understandable to be worried. You should try to not stress about the house though.

Many financial institutions will make arrangements with you for things like this. Actually, if you got disability insurance (sometimes called credit disability) on your loan, and you are put on bed rest, the insurance will pay your mortgage payment for you. If you did not get the insurance, then just call the mortgage company and talk to them. If you contact them before it becomes an issue and just say something like "it looks like i may be put on bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy and i"m worried about being able to meet my obligations, is there anythign that you can do?". They may reccomend a refi with lower payments, taking out a second mortgage to pay the first (I don't think this is the best idea if you have any other options), they may even make the payments lower or put them on hold until you are able to get back to work. Trust me, foreclosing on a home is a long, expensive process for the lender. The bank will most likely work with you.

I am very sorry that you have these worries, but don't feel alone we all do. Money Money..YUCK

I am sry and I hope this all works out.

With my second child I was on bedrest in the hospital for 4 months. I was throwing things at people and doctors who walked thru my door. I felt like I was in the psych ward you know. So, I know about the stress and it is hard. I also had a small child who had just started school when this happened to me, It was the hardest time in my life.

But once the put Justin in my arms, It didn't matter, it all went away and the same will happen for you.

Thanks everyone. I think we do have some kind of insurance on our mortgage so that's a relief. Not sure how we'd pay for everything else but I guess at least we'd have a home to live in.

I just got back from the doctors and they didn't do a sono, just heartbeat tone check to make sure the baby wasn't in any stress. Baby's heartbeat sounds great and was kicking away. I have been instructed that I must be on partial bedrest for the remainder of the next 11 weeks..until they can see at 30 weeks if the placenta moves up. Basically the partial bedrest is allowing me to work at the moment but under no circumstances am I to do anything else. Which for the most part I'm not. But when I get home...to bed...on the weekends....bed....bed...bed. So no Christmas shopping, no grocery shopping, no even doing laundry. I'm only allowed out of bed to shower and go to bathroom. The doc said if I had bright red bleeding like I did a few weeks ago I'd be on complete bedrest but as long as it's brownish red (sorry tmi) with minimal clotting the partial will be ok for now. And then when I go back in two weeks they'll re-evaluate the situation and see if I need to be on complete. *SIGH*

What a way to spend the holidays, huh? I can't put decorations up..Ryan will have to do it all. I can't go Christmas shopping, nothing. Oh well the baby is healthy and that is all that should matter, right?

This post has been edited by boogabearzmom on Nov 19 2004, 10:58 AM

Well at least some good news.... (((HUGS)))

Karen I know what you are going through financial-wise and pg-wise. I have the same feelings where I really should be happy or at the very least grateful that I am pg to begin with. Plus I have made it to 29 wks with none of the problems I had with DD last year. I am not on bedrest but medication I am on causes me to be sleepy on and off so I can't really go anywhere with DD and no one else.

I am not working so that's a pain - it was the better choice though b/c DD needed therapy and attention only a professional would've been able to do which would've taken more money than I can make. DH and I are on the rocks which adds to worries, I do not know if our marriage will survive his past and latest choices. He's spent a lot of $$$ and we are in dire straits. I claimed bankruptcy so I have no debt besides the mortgage. He on the other hand made choices that really hurt us but benefitted my undeserving MIL. There are days I do not feel like eating not only because of nausea but because I feel like if I eat, that's more $$$ for food. I don't buy anything for myself, thank goodness I fit DH's shorts and t-shirts while pg but there are times I'd like to be a girl, you know, get my nails done and my hair cut and stuff like that - just ONCE during pg, not regularly.

Anyway I am sorry I turned this into my post...I just wanted to share that you are not alone in the type of worries and feelings you have even though the situation is technically different. I know what it is to have all of that possible financial burden in front of you and be pg. Another baby only adds to the financial burden too and that's so hard to admit and deal with.

I just saw your update post and am glad that at least your financial worries are somewhat put at bay since you can continue to work. Do your shopping on the internet if you can't just go. It is hard to be restricted, isn't it? At least you're ok though. I am glad about that!

Man! that's a lot for you to take in right now and who can blame you for feeling overwhelmed!
I wish I could say, don't worry about all of that stuff and just focus on your pregnancy and getting that little one here safely, but I know that's not how it works!

Just try to take it as easy as you can and one day at a time honey, surely this stress your under just thinking about all of these "what if's" is not good for you.
Sometimes uncertainty is the cause of the worst kind of stress, maybe it would help if you and ryan sat downa dn talked through this, as in what you would do if you were on bed rest and so forth. A hypothetical game plan..it may help ease your mind some.

Can u work from home? or do the majority of your work from home?

OH Karen, I'm so sorry to hear this! But at least for the moment you can still work. Hang in there, things will work out! And don't ever feel bad for complaining, you needed to let it all out and that's what we are all here for! YOu and your baby are the most important thing right now. Try to relax and take things one day at a time!

Karen, you can shop online for christmas presents!!!

No additional advice, just a "hang in there!"---it's great to hear that baby's heartbeat sounds strong. Rent some good flicks and let Ryan do everything

LOL! Just not the same though Oh well, I'll make due.

I think I'm more depressed right now because I wanted to get my hair cut this weekend and was REALLY looking forward to doing it. Guess not now . Also I look forward every week to getting to go OUT to dinner on the weekends..take out just isn't the same. Guess it'll have to be though.

Oh and to answer your ? on working from home...nope not possible what-so-ever. I not only answer the phones but during session I keep all the lobbyists heads on straight, documents prepared, making sure they don't tear all the office equipment apart, accounting functions, political action committee functions, payroll, etc, etc, etc, etc. None of which I could do from my bed at home.

Just a thought..Alot of the beauty shops and beauty schools will come to your house and do your hair. If you can sit up in bed they can do it. I had to have them do mine..Just a th ought.

Hmmmm I've never heard of that. I wouldn't even know who to call to do this. I know we have a cosmotology college in town that you can go to to get your hair done. I don't know of any salons either...I'm not a salon gal.

Oh well, it's not a biggie to get it cut. My hair is just so long now and I think I want to keep it that way, I just thought I'd get it layered for the holidays. Since I am still allowed to work I may see if I can find somewhere who can do it over my lunch hour. There is a salon right behind our building...they might be really expensive but it might just be a nice treat for me. My reasoning is it's just behind my work..not different than if I went to go get lunch somewhere. We'll see.

Karen,

I'm glad everything turned out ok. I hope it all stays good for you!! Maybe you can get friends and family to come over and decorate. I know it's not as fun that way, but at least Kylie will still enjoy it!!