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Ana53 |
Posted: Dec 15 2008, 08:46 AM
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New Member Group: Members Posts: 10 Member No.: 21,967 Joined: 26-October 08 |
Lately I've been trying to clean up the house a bit. I just feel the need to change the house around a bit (like move furniture around, buy new coffee tables, ect) It keeps me busy, keeps my mind of things and the house could use a bit of cleaning. I've been trying to work on a different room every week. Then I got to victorias room. It's still the same exact way as when she left. Her bed is still unmade, her dirty laundry still in the hamper. All her things are still there. Everything she owned is in that room. I want to keep it that way. But hubby thinks I'm insane for wanting to keep everything! He suggest giving her things to charity and that doing so will help me move on. But keeping everything she owned gives me a comforting sense that this isn't real. Like she'll be back again someday and that shes just away at school or work. Sometimes I like to pretend just that. Am I wrong for wanting to keep everything?
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lisar |
Posted: Dec 15 2008, 10:19 AM
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Yes it is I.... Group: Members Posts: 11,727 Member No.: 1,760 Joined: 20-April 05 |
I dont think you are wrong. It just takes time.
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PrairieMom |
Posted: Dec 15 2008, 10:27 AM
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Ruby Member Group: Members Posts: 12,652 Member No.: 2,561 Joined: 24-September 05 |
no. People deal in different ways, and if you feel that you need to have her stuff, then keep it. Allow your self to mourn in your own way.
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mummy2girls |
Posted: Dec 16 2008, 12:49 PM
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Thinking of you Spencer! Group: Members Posts: 12,708 Member No.: 156 Joined: 4-May 03 |
No your not wrong in feeling this way. Its a fresh pain and you are in the shock and denial stage so for you to hold onto the fact she is "away at school" helps you get through it. I say keep everything the way it is and eventually when you are ready go through her room and maby keep the things that is of importance to you that reminds you of her. And instead of giving the rest away just pack it up in boxes and store in a safe place. I lost my son 17 days after he was born and it took a while for me to go through his room and take down his crib and such. I kept the most important things like his clothes he came home from the hospital in, and a couple other outfits he always wore, his baby book, some toys of importance and meaning and some stuffed toys. I gave away his other clothes to my brother because his GF just had a baby boy after i lost Jordan. And i then stored his crib away so when i ended up having another i would have his things to pass on to the next child.
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gr33n3y3z |
Posted: Dec 16 2008, 01:34 PM
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Doin Good :~ Group: Moderators Posts: 15,274 Member No.: 822 Joined: 13-October 04 |
There is no right or wrong just as long as you dont loose reality
-------------------- Wife to Ed (Redchief)
Mom to Rick,John,Erin and Kaitlin "Believe 100% in what you see believe 50% of what read and none of what you hear" |