My oldest

daughter was recently diagnosed with Autism by the school psychologist. I've pretty much been in denial about it. Thought that SPD was what was causing her delays and such. Especially since she was tested for Autism 3-4x before.

It was made "real" for me today. I always hear about autistic kids freaking out to change. I thought not her because she had always adjusted immediately when we have moved the 5000 times since she's been born. But today was different.

My friend is remodeling her living room. Daughter hasn't been over there in about 3 months because she has been spending a lot of time over grandmas this year. She asked me where we were going because she recognized that we weren't heading home. I told her we are going to S's house, she said ok. She recognized the house and asked about their dog (she's terrified of dogs). So I figured all is well.

We walk into the house and she immediately began to freak out and had a meltdown. She cried and cried with her hands over her ears which was odd because she usually only did that when she is expecting a loud noise. I couldn't get her to calm down so I apologized to my friend and we left.

As soon as we were in the car and driving down the road she was fine. And now I'm so heartbroken. It hurt me so bad to see her go through that. I guess you really do go through the stages of grief when your child is diagnosed with something. I always thought it was not accurate, but so far it is for me. Unless it's supposed to be sadness first then denial? Guess it doesn't matter...

This is hard

It is very hard. And you will get out of denial, have sadness, go back into denial and back to sadness. I have a close friend who comes to me and she has great days and bad days and she's known for several years now.

hugs to you mama its a hard diagnosis to come to terms with. im still muddleing through it. how old is your daughter?

She turns 8 early July.

And yes, it's hard to accept. The other day I was talking with her and it seem like nothing was wrong with her. But I am not dumb and know that at any moment she will do something like freak out and it will all come back.

The school really has been wonderful. I hope she has a better experience this coming year so I don't have to worry too much about that. I'm a natural worrier, though. I just turned 27 and have found a few gray hairs already because of my worrying personality lol.