Don't know how to cope

I'm doing better than I was, but I still have a long way to go, if I ever do heal from it. I guess I don't know what to do. I'm dreading going back to work on Monday, and dealing with all of the "I'm sorry's" and "why were you gone's" from people. I'm sure everyone knows by now, as gossip is what people thrive on there.

I wish some people were more caring, like my mom maybe? She called this morning, and I was hoping to get a how are you feeling or something, but nope, just telling me about her stupid calf. Like I give a cr@p. She is so insensitive. I avoid her like the plague, and don't usually anser when she calls.

I just have a hard time believing I'm not pregnant anymore .

I'm so sorry hun. The only thing I can say since no matter what nothing is going to take the pain away is that it does get better with time. Allow yourself that time to grieve.

I wish your Mom of all people was a little more sensitive.

My mom is so weird about things like that, too. I know that doesn't help, but there are plenty of people around you who care and can sympathize.

I'm so very sorry for your pain. I would will it away for you if I could, sweetie.

Oh Mollie, I am sorry your mom was insensitive. I totally can get it though, my MIL was very abrupt and plainly rude when I had my last miscarriage, so much so that I was not willing to tell her I was pregnant when we were pregnant with Mary Beth. Some people just don't get it.

Anyway, allow yourself to grieve, this is a great loss and you love all your children, even though this one was with you for such a short time. My prayers and thoughts continue to be with you.

Please keep coming to us for any support you need, I just wish I could do more and make the pain go away.

I'm so sorry Mollie. I can't say I know how you feel, because I don't. I couldn't. Allow yourself to grieve. Just take it day by day.

Thank you everyone. It means a lot to know you all support me .

Take care. Take each day as it comes.

I agree, it'll just take time. Day by day you will cry less and hurt less, but you'll always remember and always love!

I'm sorry hon. Maybe your mom just doesn't know how to deal with it either. Not that she chose the correct way. A loss is a loss no matter what. You will have to go through the cycles of grief before you can reach a place where you can remember without major pain. Below is a link to a website that I found helpful after the loss of my mom. There is lots of info here on what to expect from your grief. http://www.connect.legacy.com/inspire/page...5%3APage%3A5114 Check out the other pages too. I hope it helps.

I'm sorry Mollie! I remember the pain you're going through now. My mom was the same way. Aside from the first couple times I talked to her after my miscarriage, she never mentioned it to me again. And if I tried to bring it up she acted like she didn't want to talk about it... that was the part that hurt. I had a lot of friends that were helpful and always gave me a sympathetic ear, so I just turned to them instead, and of course here.

I don't think this is something you can every really "get over"... I know I never have! But it does get better over time, and you can heal. Just let yourself grieve for as long as you need!

oh, no I'm sorry, Mollie.

Thank you everyone.

Yes losing a child in any way is hard... (((HUGS))) Its a grieving process that will take time. All people get through it differently than others. Just ignore people like your mom. Sometimes they don't know they are being insensitive:( I have heard.. they are better we they are now, you need to move on etc etc. Just deal with it on your own way and at your own pace. Maby plant a small tree or bush in your back yard in memeory of your baby. A place you can go to if you need to cry, vent, or just get through the day.....

(((HUGS)))

talk it out hon, we will listen. the hardest thing for me was everyone trying to force me to "get past it". i didn't want to forget my angel baby. i didn't want to act like that baby never existed. i loved him even though he couldn't stay with me. when you feel up to it, maybe plant a tree or something in memory of your angel baby. we planted a rose bush. hugs and strength your way.

We have already planted a tree, and it looks lovely. I really don't want to go to work tonight, but I don't have a choice.

I think yesterday was the first day I didn't cry. I know I will be today at work, with people asking questions & saying insensitive uncaring comments.

So sorry, Mollie! I never got past 5 weeks with my losses, but a loss is so traumatic. I'm praying for you and your family

I'm so sorry, Mollie. How are you doing today? Know that you are in our toughts and prayers. Everyone at PC is here to listen, or shed a tear or two with you.

I'm not doing too good. Going to work is hard; there's a girl there who's due a month after I was, and she talks about it all the time. I get so angry that my baby died, and hers is living. It's not fair! She smokes, eats crappy food, and is very insensitive to my feelings. If tonight she starts on it again, I may just lose it on her & tell her to STFU! I avoid her all I can, I don't even look at her, and forget about talking to her. It's embarrassing to be crying at work, but I can't help it. At least my supervisor is very understanding and totally wonderful.

I miss my baby so much . We had such grand plans for him/her, and it was going to be so awesome. Now it's just a memory. No baby will replace this one. I feel empty and hollow, my arms are aching to hold my baby .

I'm so sorry Mollie. I can't imagine how hard it must be to see someone else (who sounds rather irresponsible and Rude IMO) being blessed with something you recently lost. I'm thinking of you every day and wishing you the best.

I'm SO sorry Molie!!!

Mollie,
I am sorry you are in so much pain. It will get easier. But I wanted to say that maybe your mom isn't mentioning it because she doesn't want to upset you, I know i am sort of like that. I don't say anything for fear of upsetting someone.



I had a few miscarriages, it will get better, i promise

Thank you; I appreciate being able to vent my frustrations & feelings here. I don't have anyone I can talk to IRL about this, so it's especially hard to cope.

Some might think I'm being too emotional, or something, but I've never lost a child before. To me, this was a real live baby, my baby, my CHILD - I saw the heart beating! And then to find out s/he died, is very traumatic, painful, and the worst thing I've ever had to deal with. My baby was real, even for a brief amount of time.

oh Mollie, It IS a very real loss. I do understand. I won't pretend to know exactly what you are feeling, but I do understand. I've been there and my SIL is there now. Please vent here anytime. It is better than holding it in. From the moment I found out I was pregnant for each of my children, I had thoughts and dreams about what it would be for them. Please allow yourself to grieve the loss of this child.

It does get easier, I can tell you that, 25 years and 14 years later, but this child will always be with you.