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coasterqueen |
Posted: Nov 10 2004, 06:55 AM
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Diamond Member Group: Members Posts: 27,917 Member No.: 236 Joined: 4-August 03 |
Okay after my recent post on DH lying to me and his alcohol problem...I'll post something a bit more positive about him.
After that whole ordeal I had ANOTHER talk (yes we have bazillions of these about his "situation"). I asked if he'd go for counseling and his reply was "do you hate me that much?". I said no but that I really am contemplating on whether I should just take Kylie and leave and that if we don't get this situation resolved I am and I also said that I actually DO hate him when he drinks like he does. He said (and yes he's said this before) that he will limit his drinking as best as he can. He doesn't want to do counseling....he thinks we can resolve this ourselves. Fine...I'll try ONE more time. I know I might regret it but we'll see. Anyways....he decided he will only drink on the weekends...but not to a point where he isn't coherent enough to help me with Kylie. He did very well over the weekend. He honestly does have a strong head on his shoulders and he does know he has a problem and he really does try to limit it. He saw it all with his father and grandfather so he is more aware of his situation than say my grandfather who'd never believe he had a problem. Anyways while we had our talk I told him I was tired of telling him how I feel and him either ignoring it or telling me that I didn't feel that way. I hate that when he does that to me. I'd say "I'm cold"...he'd say "no you are not". Grrr. Anyways he's been SOOOOOOOOO great about it. He's listening to me and he's really trying to validate my feelings. He's also trying to be more supportive. He's terrible about that and he's really trying. So I'm just so happy he's really trying on a few things I've been trying to get him to try for YEARS. Now I guess it's time for me to try to change a few things about me that he's been trying to get me to for a few YEARS now. -------------------- ~*Karen*~
wife to hubby, Ryan Douglas mommy to Kylie (9) and Megan (6.5) and furbabies Gavin, Buster, Sox, and Hailey |
Kaitlin'smom |
Posted: Nov 10 2004, 07:03 AM
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Graceland Group: Moderators Posts: 23,956 Member No.: 32 Joined: 5-March 03 |
sounds like that was a producitve talk. I just hope you both can give and take and work on things need to be worked on. Just keep up the communication. I know how frustrating it can be when you seem to talk about the same things and it appears they dont get it, dont listen, and dont seem to care. I have been there. Sounds like you both are going to give it a go on working things out, best of luck.
-------------------- Di ~ mommy to Kaitlin wife to David
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jcc64 |
Posted: Nov 10 2004, 07:10 AM
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Platinum Member Group: Members Posts: 6,220 Member No.: 108 Joined: 8-April 03 |
I'm glad to hear things are moving in the right direction, Karen. It sounds like you finally got his attention. I think it's great that you are willing to work on your own issues at the same time, all the positive energy going into your relationship can only mean good things for you as a family.
-------------------- Jeanne
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!" |
DansMom |
Posted: Nov 10 2004, 07:18 AM
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kids keep you young! Group: Moderators Posts: 6,895 Member No.: 223 Joined: 22-July 03 |
That does sound like a positive step! Addictions are awful, and it is difficult to be the spouse when someone is struggling with the lure of whatever it is they are addicted to. You are both brave to deal with the issues and stay committed to each other.
-------------------- Tracy, George and Daniel (11/25/02)
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My2Beauties |
Posted: Nov 10 2004, 07:29 AM
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My Baby Girls!!! Group: Moderators Posts: 12,448 Member No.: 467 Joined: 4-May 04 |
Sounds like you guys had a wonderful talk and I hope that he sticks to his guns! Talking things out to me do even better than counseling, you can tell him exactly what a therapist can!! Good for you and for your marriage, hope it turns out great and keep us posted!
-------------------- LeaAnn, wife to Brian (05/21/2005)
Mommy to Hanna Marie (11/14/2003) Mommy to Aubrey Lynn (05/01/2007) Step-mommy to Desiree Ann (11/14/1995) My MySpace Page |
kimberley |
Posted: Nov 10 2004, 07:59 AM
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Diamond Member Group: Moderators Posts: 18,627 Member No.: 249 Joined: 28-August 03 |
i am happy things are going well for you guys. you are lucky that you can talk to each other and actually hear what the other is saying. sounds very supportive and loving.
-------------------- mama to Jacob, James, Jade, Kaleigh and Riley!!
The Administrators of Parenting Club take violators of the Terms of Service Agreement seriously. Please report any suspicions to the Moderators. Report a post using the "report" button in the upper right corner of the offending post. |
redchief |
Posted: Nov 10 2004, 11:18 AM
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Platinum Member Group: Moderators Posts: 8,629 Member No.: 800 Joined: 5-October 04 |
Good luck Karen. I'm glad you spoke with him. That had to be difficult.
-------------------- Ed is husband to Lisa (since 1983) Dad to Ricky, John, Erin and Kaitlin The Administrators of the Parenting Club take trolls and violators of the Terms of Service Agreement seriously. Please report any suspicions to the Moderators. Report a post using the "report" button in the upper right corner of the offending post. |
Maddie&EthansMom |
Posted: Nov 10 2004, 01:54 PM
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Diamond Member Group: Moderators Posts: 16,534 Member No.: 235 Joined: 30-July 03 |
I'm so glad you guys had the opportunity to discuss things in a civil manner. I truly hope and pray he sticks with the agreement. He has a lot at stake if he does not oblige. Here's some ((((((HUGS)))))) What a courageous thing for you to do!
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gr33n3y3z |
Posted: Nov 10 2004, 02:43 PM
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Doin Good :~ Group: Moderators Posts: 15,274 Member No.: 822 Joined: 13-October 04 |
way to go I'm so glad he is willing to work on things and you also are willing to work on things also
-------------------- Wife to Ed (Redchief)
Mom to Rick,John,Erin and Kaitlin "Believe 100% in what you see believe 50% of what read and none of what you hear" |
darrylswifeskylersmom |
Posted: Nov 10 2004, 03:33 PM
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Bronze Member Group: Members Posts: 212 Member No.: 462 Joined: 3-May 04 |
Glad to hear u guys had a talk! and things seem to be moving the right way!
Im glad your DH is willing to try aswell! and put some efort in! -------------------- |
Gatalita |
Posted: Nov 11 2004, 07:48 AM
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Member Group: Members Posts: 91 Member No.: 912 Joined: 4-November 04 |
I'm glad that he was responsive and is willing to work ont it.
-------------------- "Those who cannot remember the lessons of the past are condemned to repeat it." -Unknown Author
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Josie83 |
Posted: Nov 12 2004, 06:58 AM
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Platinum Member Group: Members Posts: 5,901 Member No.: 622 Joined: 29-July 04 |
It sounds like this is going a bit better its good that he's trying to work it out . . . good luck! xx
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