Eating Disorders

[JAYMESMOM]

Today makes Day 11. My headache is also finally leaving so no more naseau. I look forward to the next day. LOL.

[kimberley]

WTG! that is great! you have a lot to be proud of!

[mysweetpeasWil&Wes]

That's wonderful...thanks for keeping us posted!

[Mandasmomma]

And how is today going?? Feeling better yet??

[mysweetpeasWil&Wes]

It has been awhile...how are things????????

[JAYMESMOM]

Things are going. I have had some minor setbacks and I am just struggling to get thru everyday with all that is going on. I know in the long run it will get better but some days I don't even see why I try.

I may not be on for a while. But will post an update as soon as I get back.

[mysweetpeasWil&Wes]

Setbacks are normal, but remember it can never get better unless you keep trying. You are in our thoughts!

[JAYMESMOM]

Sorry I have been away but I am coming back with good news. Even thru everything with my husband I never made myself sick. YEAH!! It was so hard sometimes but I did it.

I am slowly losing weight the right way. I am down to 205. Finally under 200 is in site. I only have 55 more to go LMAO. I will die the day that happens.

Thank you for all your support.

[mysweetpeasWil&Wes]

I knew you were having a hard time with Dh, so I was definitely thinking about you. My ED stemmed from my relationship with DH before we were married, so I completely understand. Glad to hear you got through it ED free!! That's a huge step you should be very proud of! Hang in there....YOU ARE DOING GREAT!

[JAYMESMOM]

And still going strong. I just don't know when it is okay to focus on losing the weight. I am back at my heaviest weight and don't want to live like this. I am constantly tired, hungry, and I hate looking the way I do. I am just afraid to start and then end back up where I was. Any suggestions?

[Hillbilly Housewife]

Wow, just read this entire thread.....

you remind me so much of me it's not funny. I haven't purged since December 31st, 2004.

I went through a tough time with it - I grew up fat. I was a fat kid, a fat teen.... I was 15 when I started dealing with a bit of anorexia. Not intentionally - I was living on my own, working and going to school - between having no time to eat, and no money to buy food, I didn't eat very much - it didan't take me long to lose weight.

At first, I was always hungry, and depressed, because of my living situation. But as soon as I noticed my clothes were fitting better, I realized that I'd been losing weight. So, I happily went without food on purpose, even when i DID make the money to buy some extra.

I went from 150 pounds to 115 pounds - in just over 2 months. With my ex, well, he wasn't very nice to me - and I basically lived on alcohol and cigarettes. At 16.

My life was really crap - and I could control the eating - because I didnt' bother to control the rest of my life. I probably could have walked away from that life... but I never did. It's my current DH that took me out of my funk.... i gained 10 pounds back in about 2 months after we started dating. I still looked sick though...but I was happy at 125 pounds. I am 5 feet 3inches tall - a good weight for my height, but a bit on the low side. My doctor told me I should be at around 135 pounds, because of my bone structure as well. I have naturally big bones.

In any case.... with my first baby, I took it as an excuse to not have to watch what I ate. I gained 74 pounds, 50 of it was in the first four months. I dropped 35 right after the birth, but never lost the other 39. THen I got pg with my secon.... gained another 37 pounds. I weighed 202 at my most, the day of the birth, and I pretty much went right back to 165 after the birth - stayed there until I moved - now we get our meals provided, and man do I take advantage of it - I gained 10 pounds in 1 month.

So there I was at 175 - and I find out I'm pg again - with my weight history, I cried because I didn't want to get FAT again. I'm currently halfway through my pg - and I weight 188 pounds. 13 pounds gained so far, and I'm very proud.

There are days though, where I just don't feel like eating....and I don't, but becaue I'm pg - I eat little snacks - I mean - the BABY eats little snacks.

But seriously - although it is a quick way of losing a small amount of weight - it's way too dangerous. And besides - not eating tricks your body into storing more of the next thing you eat - so if you only eat once a day, your body will absorb more of that one meal - becaue that's the only nutrients you get - so you can actually gain weight by eating too little.... wierd, huh? kinda like the "not drink enough water, you'll get bloated"

anyhoo - didn't mean to hog the post - I wasnted to tell you that I relate to being constantly tired, hungry, and unsatisfied with the way I look. I'd love to fit into my sexy pre-pregnancy clothes.... but I won't for a while....

but you know.... my DH and I have known each other so long, that he sees me for who I am and not for what I look like - obviously, since he never notices when I put contacts in, with makeup, instead of my glasses and no makeup. Never. So he lvoes me, whether my hair's messy or whether I got a pieceo f lingerie on.... and that keeps me sane.

And btw - 205 is not fat. I'm at 188, and I'm not "fat", I'm jiggly. Rofl!

[JAYMESMOM]

Thanks so much for the support. I am taking today for today. No junk food. Sweets are my downfall. I am having a healthy lunch. I may even get to excercise tonight.

I know I will never be skinny skinny - I just don't want to be flubby!

[mysweetpeasWil&Wes]

When was the last time you saw a GP or even your ObGYN? Some doctors don't understand how to treat EDs, but they may help you with your nutrition goals. Perhaps set you up with a dietician. Or at least evaluate your overall health to determine whether a diet is good for you right now or not. Do you have med insurance right now? If not, sometimes a local gym has a nutritionist on hand to give you some pointers or even at some health food stores. Don't let them sucker you into buying supplements or meal replacements. OR DIET PILLS!! NO!! You need REAL food, not powders, pills or bars.

My best suggestion is to stop focusing on the number, meaning your weight. It's only a number. I do think it's important to be careful it doesn't get too high because that could lead to other complications, but I think you're doing fine. Exercise is key. But take it easy and ease into things. You'll get tired if you start up too fast with any routine. Water, water, water gives you energy. No caffeine sodas. And buy a lot of whole foods like raw veggies and fruit. Brown rice. Nuts (not roasted). Add a multivitamin if you haven't already. Maybe you're lacking iron and that's why you're tired. Lay off the sweets, that can also make you tired (sugar), but also allow yourself to have a small chocolate or ice cream every other day. Deprivation is never good at fighting an ED. So having a few "bad" foods is actually really healthy.

Sounds like your body is doing what it should. I gained about 15+ pounds once I really stopped b/p completely. It was hard, but I knew that my body was storing fat just in case I went back to the ED. In about six months, my weight went down a bit without even dieting, but from eating in a healthy way and excercising.

Oh yeah, find ways to make your life stress free if possible. Stress fuels the ED, plus makes you gain weight IMO. Find a relaxing hobby, take baths, buy yourself some yummy smelling lotions. My MIL keeps a sachet of lavender in her car so that she can sniff it when she's stuck in traffic. She says it eases the stress a bit. Sounds funny, but it works for her! Good luck -

[Katherine]

I had the same problem at 11-12 years old. I thought I was ugly & fat. I threw up 4-5 times a day. When I was twelve, I was underweight, my stepmom caught me throwing away lunch, & I got help. I stopped at 14, when I was pregnant, so my children couldn't pass it on. Now, I just eat healthy, & I do a half hour of weights & cardio to keep my weight balanced. Think about this...would you rather be fat or die? If be fat is the answer, get help & force your brain to stop. I swear that it's not as hard as it sounds!

XOXO,
Katherine