creating a better environment

[HarveyM]

Hey everyone, I've been lurking around here but today I guess I kind of needed to write something so I can hear what everyone else has to say. My ex just picked up our son after I've had him since Friday night (I'm writing this Sunday evening, btw) and she kind of looked around the house and had this weird look on her face, as if she couldn't believe she'd let her son be here for a weekend.

I don't blame her. Looking around, I can see this isn't probably the best environment for a seven year-old, but it's not that bad, either. I guess I've just never been good at the housework thing, and I need to try and get to that point.

Well, anyway, it sucks. I'm resolving to try and make this place look like it's got a woman's touch, even though it's just me living here and my son every other weekend. My only question is where do I begin?

Harvey

[PrairieMom]

What is your place like? Is it messy like clothes on the floor, or dirty like the toilets haven't been cleaned for weeks, or stinkey like dishes that haven't been washed, and garbage that needs taken out?

[CantWait]

First thing is to give it a good solid cleaning if you haven't done so already. Next, get organized, get buckets to put things in, containers, baskets whatever you may need, do a little bit each day after the initial cleanup, then get candles, or other air freshners to mask odors. Good Luck.

[mummy2girls]

maby to just get it started you can hire a cleaning lady to come in and do a once over ansd then just work from there. get rubbermaids to have toys store din and such...

its kinda hard to give advice because im not sure what you mean... and how your place looks...LOL

[Hillbilly Housewife]

A good place to start would be to make sure that it's not "filthy".

My hosue is a little messy...but it's not filthy. There is clutter all over the place... and although I try to clear it, it just piles up before I get to it.

Make sure there are no dirty dishes left on the counter, in the sink, or anywhere else. If you can't wash the dishes right away, at least rinse them so there is no stuck on food on them.

Take out the garbage when it needs to be taken out.

If you have dirty clothes lying around, at least put it in a hamper. Or two. Or at least stuff it in the washer before your ex gets there.

Get rid of cigarette butts, if you smoke.

Wash stains off your floor, if there is any. They can attract bugs.

Get yourself a toilet brush, if you don't have one - and USE IT. At least every week, and wipe down the toilet seat. You are a guy...and no offense... but guys' toilet seat are usually gross.

If you're anything like my husband - pick up empty pop/soda cans, beer bottles, juice bottles, dirty kleenexes, empty snack containers, chip bags etc etc....

Sweep your floors, or vaccuum them, daily if you have to - but at least do it when your son is around, and definitely when your ex is coming.

Keep it up. Once it's been cleaned... it's easier to keep it tidy then it is to start over all the time.

Something that really helped us was to get Rubbermaid container, like Shelly suggested. You can label them... and they stack well, in a closet or something. You can put the stuff you want to keep out of sight in there.

If she was looking around because your appartment is "sparse" and could definitely use a "woman's touch" like you said, then maybe get a plant or two, a few cushions for your seating, a nice table cloth for your table, some curtains if you don't have any - that will totally change the look of your place. And, definitely get an air freshener... like those Glade Mists or whatever... then you don't really have to worry about it, it goes off automatically. Do you have anything on your walls? Get a nice print or two, or painting, or photos or whatever and get them framed cheaply. Put them up - so thtat the middle of it is at eye level. If you're like 6 feet, put the middle of it at your chin level.

I hope that helps.

[MyLuvBugs]

I say just start with one room, and clean the heck out of it....then move to the next. Clean the walls, carpet, dust EVERYTHING, get the cob-webs out, etc! I agree with one of the other moms that scented candles and airfresheners are always good, and do give a "womanly" touch to a place.

For stray clothes...make sure that you have a big hamper or two to house all the dirties. If you have dishes piled up, set a time each day that you'll wash them or load the dishwasher. Our time around here is right after our evening dinner.

Get a toy box or bin for little man's toys, just to keep the clutter contained in a spot, and have him help you "pick-up" when it's time for bed or nap or right befor mom gets there to pick him up. KWIM?

I hope that helps!

[jessbarb]

Well, with all these women answering, you've definitely come to the right place if you're seeking advice about "a woman's touch." You could do all of the above, but if it sounds like a lot of toil and trouble, you could do what my brother, a confirmed bachelor, does and just hire a cleaning service to come by once in a while. The advice about the air fresheners is good because you don't have to do any of the work; Roombas and Scoobas would also mean you wouldn't have to work so hard. If you want help in keeping the place clean after you've cleaned it, I'd say you should try to clear out all the old stuff that you don't need anymore (this could be kind of therapeautic, too, maybe) and that way your place won't look or feel so cluttered and it'll be easier to clean in the future. What's really important, beyond all of this, is that your son feels like he lives there -- make it kid-friendly with a pool or trampoline or basketball hoop outside, and with a bedroom decorated with the stuff that he likes. I hope some if this helps. My best wishes, Jess.

[My3LilMonkeys]

You've gotten some great advice from the other ladies, just be sure you don't let it overwhelm you. You said you get your son ever other weekend, and if you just had him last weekend you have 10 days if you start tomorrow.

Start with 1 room each day and make sure that room is clean at the end of the day, and then don't let it get messy again. Ex: Tues do the living room. Wed make sure the living room is still clean, then do the kitchen. After a week (unless you've got a lot of rooms) your whole house is clean, and then you only have to keep picked up and spot clean as necessary.