Can I get some advice..., Father has done nothing to help...

[mommycat2244]

Just wanted to update that I tried to talk things out with the guy and we did work a few things out. But, all things considered, he's trying to still be involved with the baby, but he's not wanting to help with child support at all. He's even got a new girlfriend who has a 2 year old that he's already posing for pictures and stuff with. That really upset me. Since he and I have been trying to get along, we went Saturday to get pictures of the baby, but he didn't want us all to pose for pictures with Corvin. He just wanted the baby by himself in all of the poses. Then, after I had given him some of the pictures that I had bought from the hospital, he didn't even offer to let me have some of the pictures that he had gotten from Saturday. After the baby was born, I started to miss the guy. And my mistake, I told him so. Since then he has led me on to thinking that he and his girlfriend were going to breakup and that his son comes first for him. (he even told me that he was never going to give up on me!!!) So, this weekend, I finally confronted him as to why he never broke up with the girl and he told me that he never had any intentions of doing that. And as far as the child support goes, when I brought that up, his response was, "Well what do you want me to do, buy you and apartment?" So now my and Corvin are moving up to Dallas this Saturday to live with my mother. Corvin's daddy wanted me to get into low income housing and stay here. But he still wanted all of his visitation, but not pay for child support. To me, that was just unfair to not me, but unfair to our child. So, instead, I am doing what I can for our child, even if he doesn't want to. And BTW-I didn't put his name on the BC, so now I don't think he'll even try to establish paternity so that it can be put on there. Esspecially since he doesn't want to pay support. It makes me sad in every way. But I did try for Corvin, at least, so that his daddy could be apart of his life. It just seems to me that he'd rather get all of the rights without any of the responsibility. And, to me, my child is worth more than that.

[mummy2girls]

Hi... i think that will be the best thing expecially if he is acting that way. If he doesnt think he needs to help with child support then he doesnt have the right to see his son. Im sorry if that sounds harsh but guys like that get ot me. And him saying if he should buy you an apartment! Cmon give me a flipping break! You shoudl fo said no but diapers and formula( if yoru not BF) would be nice! I know it will be hard but it seems your mom is going to be of big help and that is good! If it wasnt for my parents i dont think i would be as good of a single mom as i am. Its hard and to have them as a helping hand helps a big way! if you need anything please pm im here if you want to vent!

[Edward's Mommy]

I'm married and it's hard with two of us! I can't imagine how hard it is for you!! If he's not going to step up and help with the baby, then he shouldn't see him. I wouldn't talk to him for a while and see how he responds to that!!! You don't need that! And neither does your child!!! I think you're doing the right thing for yourself and your child!! Kudos! PM me anytime you just want to talk!!

[luvmykids]

I think you're doing the right thing. You know you can't count on him so you have the responsibility to do whats best without him.

Best wishes for you, how IS that little guy anyway?

[CAMSMOM1]

Cathrene, I know we've talked about this before in PM's, but I just wanted to reassure you that you are doing the right thing. As hard as it might be at the moment, your ex has no intentions on leaving his girlfriend, or being the type of father he should be. He wants to have his cake, and eat it too. That's not realistic. And just because you didn't put his name on the birth ceritificate, doesn't mean you forfitted his rights as the biological father, as far as child support goes. IMHO, the best thing to do, is to take him to court. Get his wages attached, and he wont' have any option to pay you or not, he'll have to by the state...as long as he's working. Dont' feel bad about it either. He made the choice to leave, but he still needs to take on a least some responsiblity, even if it's just finiancally.

You are a GREAT mother, Cathrene. From all the times I've talked to you, I know how much you love & adore your son. And you are doing the best you can. And your son will grow up to be a wonderful person because of YOU! You don't need your ex to be apart of the picture, to creat a happy home for your son. And with the help of your mother, you'll have all the support you need. And you know that we're here for you.

Ann

[greatmotheroftwo]

i know what you are talking about my oldest daughter who is 5 now has never in her life met her father he just denies her . its a sad thing to say but its true