WWYD - party confusion / gift

Ok, last week the day we get back from vacation Kylie was invited to an ice cream social. I got the invitation before we left and sent rsvp, but didn't get to shop for a gift until the morning of the party. The invitation didn't exactly say birthday party, but honestly Kylie has not been invited to any other kind of parties besides birthday ones so I didn't think about it. We rushed out got a gift, came home wrapped it and was headed out the door when I re-read the invitation. I started to think it wasn't a birthday party, but.....was a bit embarrassed to call, and just assumed it was so we went. I went up and talked to the mother when I dropped Kylie off, then I left. She never said anything to me about it not being a birthday party and I handed her the gift. So Ryan went to pick up Kylie and on way home Kylie mentioned to him that it wasn't a birthday party, but one other girl besides her thought it was too and brought a present. I was kinda like "crap! That was $30 I just spent". Oh well. But then I thought about it more and was wondering what I'd do in that situation if someone misunderstood an invite. I think I'd make Kylie give the present back and explain the situation and thank them for thinking of her, etc, but I don't think I'd let her keep the gift.

WWYD? I saw this mother again this morning because Kylie left her sweater over at her house. She never really said anything else, but now I feel weird about the situation and not sure why. I mentioned it here because the mother and I are "friends" on facebook.

I still would have sent dd with something, maybe a food item or something.

I would have also thought it was a birthday party. My dd hasn't been invited to any other parties, other than bday parties. Playdates....yes.

Ashley has never been invited to a party other than a birthday party either. She's been invited to lots of sleepovers that aren't birthday parties, but that's usually just a phone call, not an actual invitiation.

Same here. So I just assumed it was a birthday party. Oh well.

I think she should have returned the gift and thanked you for the sentiment. I also think that if it's NOT a bday party and no gifts are expected, the invite should clearly say so.
I do think the idea of an ice cream social for no particular reason is actually a great idea as it encourages kids at that age to socialize en masse without there being a need for a special occasion or gifts. However, because it's not the norm, these things need to be spelled out so that there is no confusion or embarrassment by anyone.
edited for a typo.

This post has been edited by cameragirl21 on Aug 22 2011, 09:54 AM

I'm wondering why that Mom took the gift in the first place. I would have said something and insisted you not leave it, if it was my party. That's weird. I think the idea of a party for no reason is great, sounds like an end of summer fun party!! Love it!

At my job we have birthday parties. We had a girl scout leader book the room for a "party" for one of their events (if you call it that? Never was in girl scouts) and there were only 7 girls but the majority of them brought gifts for the PARENT! Like, bottles of wine!
The only time I would be unsure of getting a gift would be for a going away party. When you won't see the person for years because they are moving very far away. I wouldn't get anything for the host for a holiday party maybe except a plate of food. Other than that, only give gifts for baby/wedding shower, birthday, graduation, baptism/religious.

If I were the mom I would have tried to give it back to you. Had she tried to return it to you, then if I were you, I would have just told her it was no big deal and to keep the present...misunderstandings happen.

It's possible she didn't want to embarrass you or feel awkward by giving it back to you. People can be strange like that.

This post has been edited by Boo&BugsMom on Aug 23 2011, 11:06 AM