At an end with 20 yr. old son

I don't exactly know what to do now. My oldest son is 20 and I can't seem to understand him at all. He is going into his 3rd year in college and he is getting so disrespectful to his dad and I and brother and sister. To make a long story short he got a scholarship to play football in college. He was on honor society in school was buying his own car working a $7 hr. job, going out for every sport and still going to school. On his first week of school he met this girl and he quit football, complains he always broke and making $10 an hr. now. He doesn't come back to SD to visit always goes to her family in ND. We have him on our insurance for a price cut, added him on our cell line, gave him $800 the end of May and he hasn't been home all summer. His girlfriend brags that her daddy gives her anything she wants. Our son worked for everything and now is giving it up. I don't like this girl at all because she wants to take all his time(I think so) from him. He had big dreams of going pro in football or baseball and if that didn't happen he just wanted to be a sports broadcaster. Now he is wanting to run an elevator in a small town around where her family lives in a small town in ND. I just don't know what to do anymore. He got mad at us a couple of weeks because we wouldn't loan him $4500 to buy a car from India. Am I crazy to keep telling him what I think of her or should I just butt out?

Honestly, I'd butt out. As a parent we can give advice and guidance to our kids.. but at 20 that's all you can do IMO. A lot of the time they are going to do what they want and make their own mistakes. Just support him, even if you don't always agree with his choices do it because you're his mom and you love him.

This post has been edited by Bellasmommy10 on Aug 11 2008, 08:12 AM

I don't know what to tell you. He is an adult, and there is nothing really you can do about it. I would worry that pressuring him to much will just push him away. give him space, and hopefully, he will turn around.

My DS is only 5 and I already hate every girl he going to date. I am dreading when he meets his future wife,because the men always seem to move where the wife's family is. no woman is going to take MY man . Hopefully I get over it by the time he is old enough to date.

Also, From a fellow SD!

He is an adult but a long with being an adult he has to pay his way for everything from college to car and insurance give it all to him maybe he will see how good he had it before and maybe he will respect you and your husband.

Hi and welcome to the boards

Thanks everyone It's harder as a parent for me now than it has ever been and I just don't know how to just let him go...

ITA.