Disturbing Sense of Humor

Hello, I am new to the boards. I am posting about an unsettling development involving my teenage daughter. Around October, I noticed that she started to become interested in the serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. She has read alot about him, to the point where she knows everything about him. His apartment number, the name of the chocolate factory where he worked, all down to the last detail. A few weeks ago there was a documentary about him on TV. She wanted to stay up late to see it.

She was only a baby when Dahmer was arrested in 1991 so she wouldn't remember seeing it on the news when it was a current event. I remember it pretty well. Why would anyone think that this kind of stuff is interesting? In addition to watching the documentary, she even said that she would like to go to Milwaukee some day and see the vacant lot where his apartment used to be. She is mostly a nice well-mannered person, but it is still disturbing to see her take such an avid interest in something so horrible.


Another problem is her sense of humor. For years, she watched South Park and was into dirty jokes, sexual innuendo, that kind of stuff. Now her sense of humor has become darker as well. She jokes about horrible things that shouldn't be laughed at. The other day she told me that she met another classmate with a sick sense of humor. They started talking about South Park and somehow got on the subject of Dahmer. The other student said, "When Dahmer was arrested they found body parts in his refrigerator. He ran after the cops, yelling 'Hey come back here that was my dinner!' " My daughter says she laughed at this. Then she said, "You know that expression, 'so cute I could eat you up?' " Her classmate said that was a weird thing to say. My daughter then said, "Jeffrey Dahmer's boyfriends were so cute, he could just eat them up. And he did." They both laughed again. Of course I wasn't at school when this was taking place. My daughter said the conversation was so long, she couldn't tell me the whole thing. I don't think I would want to hear it anyway. She also mentioned a poem. I am sure you are all familiar with C.C. Moore's "'Twas the Night Before Christmas." My daughter says she wrote a parody called "Jeffrey Dahmer's Night Before Christmas." I didn't see it, but I know it's something I wouldn't find funny. How do I deal with this?

my sense of humor is the same way and im 17. weird? yeah. normal? it's a phase, i move on from one tragedy to another to be honest

I think at that age kids try to find something that is different and taboo in order to shock people. It's why I wore all black and pierced my face at that age I don't think it's any indication that there is anything wrong with her. Maybe you could push her to learn more about the victims and their families so that she could really get a sense of the horror that Dahmer caused to so many.

I had an obsession with Jack the ripper and henery the 8th. still do. Henery isn't so bad but jack is on a similar par with dahmer. i also have kinda a sick sence of humor but i'm normal otherwise.

I agree.

well I find it a bit weird that she is focusing on one particular SK namely Dahmer. I have an interest in all of em (Bundy, Manson, BTK, etc) not because I idolize them I am just interested in all of the stories. I would just talk to her and find out where her head is at, why she is interested and assess it from there.

Well I have to admit....I watch the documentaries and stuff about them....and Im far from a wierdo IMO.....Lets face it..they are a part of our history unfortunantly.

I agree with whoever said she was doing it to be different and shocking.

I have always been facinated with the darker/morbid side of life or death as it were. I have read horror novels for as long as I could remember, I watch horror movies and have since I was a tyke (my dad let me watch Polterguist when I was about 3-4 and that was just the beginning), I like to read CrimeLibrary.com and I do all that until I just can't and I take a break. ( I get to where I have nightmares and life gets interesting). But I will take a break and then go right back at it. It's not bad to be interested in it and I feel I am a fairly normal person. If she is just interested and not completely obsessed with it then I would let her do what she does.

I don't think its bad to have a dark sense of humor, many LE, Firefighters, Dispatchers, Nurses, Doctors (anyone who deals with violence and death as a part of every-day life) have it. It is a good thing to have in those professions, helps keep our sanity.

Some of those serial killers are actually really intersting people, not any I would have over for dinner but definately someone to read about.

(sorry about the dinner crack )

I was really into the true crime stories, SK stuff and other things like hauntings/witchcraft etc when I was that age. I am marginally normal now. LOL I dont' think it's anything to worry about really. Just ask that she keep her offensive talk out of the house, that you don't really appreciate that type of humor but she's free to share with her friends if that's what blows their skirts up.

ETA I stopped reading and watching that type of stuff after I had kids. Now it seems more scary to me and it really effects my sanity. Before kids though, I loved it.

This post has been edited by kit_kats_mom on Feb 14 2008, 01:38 PM

Teenagers do like to shock, that's for sure.

I wasn't into things like that when I was younger, but I did love Stephen King back then

Now, I'm VERY heavily into crime stuff: all the CSI's, all the L&O's, Criminal Minds, Without a Trace, Cold Case Files, etc, etc. I find it all so incredibly fascinating. Not that I intend to go out and kill someone to see if I could get away with it - "All I learned, I learned from CSI!", LOL. On the criminal side, I want to know HOW they could do it. I don't mean on whether to use a chainsaw or their bare hands, but in their state of mind... and WHY?? Just as what sort of person would look at a cow for the very first time and think, "Hey, if I squeeze those long things there, would I get something to drink?", what kind of person could look at a BABY and think.... ah, heck, I can't even type it, but I think you know what I mean.

Maybe your daughter is getting into Profiling or wanting to be a police officer or detective... and shocking you with things is just an added teenage bonus.

Honestly though, I think that "pushing" her to talk will backfire and she may just try to get your goat more. My thoughts are that if you have any sort of interest in this - if you've ever watched Cold Case or such shows - that you could use this as a "common interest" and would find out a whole lot more from her. A "partner in crime", so to speak [sorry, but HAD to say it after the dinner puns, LOL]

I do agree that she could be having these morbid funny moments to deal with it. Just as some people grieve for years over a lost loved one, other's seem to "get over it" quicker because they try to dwell on the brighter side of life.

When I was 6 months preggers with my oldest, I was hit by a car that ran a red light at 80mph. He hit me on my left side and I rolled over his hood twice before landing on my head on the pavement by his driver side door. I was PIZZED! and not because he HIT me, but because I couldn't see the people holding up 9.0 cards because I thought it was a pretty darned good landing. Despite it being rather un-co-ordinated and on my head, LOL. Concentrating on those "people" made it easier for me to deal with what had just happened. Maybe it was just the concussion talking, who knows? lol

I also tend to giggle a lot when I'm in trouble. It always made my dad even angrier, but it was out of nervousness, not disrespect. When I was a child, he told me once that I needed to "pull up my socks". Since I'd never heard that one before, I promptly sat down on the floor and pulled my socks up. I got grounded.