Mother Sprays Child At Car Wash!, **Video**

If you go back and re-read my post, you'll see that I suggested either a time out or a spanking. If it had been my child throwing a tantrum in the car, she probably would have gotten the spanking. I put time out in there too because I know a lot of people don't like to spank. A time out would be harder to do at a car wash than it is at home, but if I was against spanking (which I'm not) I would find a way. Spraying my child all over with water as punishment would be out of the question, no matter how light the water pressure was. I would never lash out at my child in such a childish manner. I want to teach my children to be obedient and respectful, and I could never accomplish that by setting the kind of example that woman is giving her kids. I don't want my kids to just be obedient because they're afraid of what crazy and hateful thing I'd do to them if they weren't.

You're right, I remember that.

I also remember suggesting that the mother might have thought the tantrum wasn't extreme enough to warrant a spanking, or as you suggest might not believe in spanking at all. I also agreed with another poster that this mom's method of discipline does seem strange...I probably wouldn't have thought to do it. However, and the whole reason for my chiming in to this thread, is that I do not believe it was child abuse (if the high pressure setting indeed wasn't used).

This is the type of action that leads to children thinking its OK to throw a fit. If you let a child throw a fit without consequences, they'll just do it again and again. While you ignoring your child's fit in your own car doesn't affect me, it's parents ignoring their children's tantrums in public that gets me going! Seriously, how inconsiderate are these people!? I point them out to my 7yr. old, and explain to him how the parents are not being good parents...even he can understand. The fact that you would rather teach your children its OK to act up instead of getting them wet is beyond me...

You're right, I remember that.

I also remember suggesting that the mother might have thought the tantrum wasn't extreme enough to warrant a spanking, or as you suggest might not believe in spanking at all. I also agreed with another poster that this mom's method of discipline does seem strange...I probably wouldn't have thought to do it. However, and the whole reason for my chiming in to this thread, is that I do not believe it was child abuse (if the high pressure setting indeed wasn't used).

This is the type of action that leads to children thinking its OK to throw a fit. If you let a child throw a fit without consequences, they'll just do it again and again. While you ignoring your child's fit in your own car doesn't affect me, it's parents ignoring their children's tantrums in public that gets me going! Seriously, how inconsiderate are these people!? I point them out to my 7yr. old, and explain to him how the parents are not being good parents...even he can understand. The fact that you would rather teach your children its OK to act up instead of getting them wet is beyond me...

Or, ignoring the fit will show them that it doesn't affect you and no matter how much they throw a fit, it won't get them what they want.

Ignoring a fit is better than doling out a negative consequence... because negative attention is worth it to the child as opposed to no attention at all.

It might be strange to compare "training a dog" to "training a child"... but in both cases, the key is consistency, and it is MUCH easier to reward good behaviour to reinforce it than it is to constantly be on their case about "bad behaviour".

Unless you catch the child in the act, much like a dog, spanking or other forms of corporal punishment have NO EFFECT....

In any case, what the mom did was wierd. I wouldn't necessarily go as far as to say it was abuse either, however, we don't know all the details... it may have been.

Uh...How about being and adult and ignore the bad behavior until you get home? That child was old enough to remember why she is being sent to her room or why she's getting her favorite game taken away. It doesn't work with toddlers because they can't remember what they're being punished for but this child could remember.

I can't believe people are arguing over what setting it was on. Are you serious?? The child was being hosed down in a flippin car wash. I don't care if the water was dripping out. It was being put on her in a humiliating manor. I'm not going to try and change anyone's mind. I'm just stating my opinion. If you want to hose your child down and demean them then go right ahead. Just don't do it where I can see you because you'd have to use your gun on me. Just call me Nosey Nelly.

Many of you seem to be assuming that the child started throwing a tantrum in the car, upon which the mother decided to pull over to a carwash and hose the kid down...that doesn't seem to be the case. From my understanding, the mother went there to wash her car, and while there, the child threw a fit. Remember, we are the adults trying to teach our children correct and moral behaviors, not responding to what the child dictates. Why should the mother have to stop what she's doing, put the child in the car, drive home and then correct the child's behavior (you can wait to punish a child if they know in advance that upon arriving home they will receive consequences for bad behavior currently being had)?

Ignoring a fit...especially in public...is not the best way to go. I will agree, though, that sometimes ignoring a fit to get attention is the best way to deal with the situation. However, this was a public carwash, and letting the girl throw a fit would have impeded on the peace of others.

Crystalina - How is getting a child wet demeaning and humiliating? The mother wasn't hosing the child down in a public square, or forcing the child to walk down main street all wet, she simply got her point across to the child, took her wet clothes off, dried her with a towel, and put her into the car...what's demeaning and humilitating about that!?

This post has been edited by huma on Mar 15 2008, 02:46 PM

Something odd to me. Huma, are YOU the mother that sprayed her girl? Seems strange that this is the ONLY topic you seem to reply on. And in defense of what she supposedly did. Just a question.

How many kids do you have huma? Does your husband agree with your "style" of parenting?

I can't believe you think what this mom did is OK!! What kind of person are you? Would you do this to your children? Have you done something this awful to your kids?

I'm thinking this thread has troll written all over it. Let's not dignify it, ladies.

I think you're right.

I think you're right.

I'm not feeding it anymore.

This post has been edited by Crystalina on Mar 16 2008, 05:10 AM

We should have an emote for that.

Not saying anyone's a troll, just sharing some funny smilies.

How would you like it if someone bigger than you hosed you down, then stripped you stark naked in front of a bunch of strangers, would that humiliate you?

I'm not 2yrs. old. Any parent here should know that kids at that age do all they can sometimes to go around naked...trust me, it doesn't humiliate them. Like I said, would you rather the mother left the child in her wet clothes?

Nope. The reason you only see me on this thread, is because I only joined this site to respond to this specific subject. I was googling more info on the story, and this site was one of the results. I was suprised everyone that had commented was so aghast, so I decided to post.

Are you serious!? I'm suprised people even use that term on a parenting site...like I'm out pretending to be a parent, so I can infiltrate a parenting website so as to wreak havoc!

Enough. I'm the husband. A sane person. Perhaps. No, I have not sprayed my children in a carwash...however, I wouldn't rule it out. I also asked two of my sisters (who are both mothers) if they thought this mom's actions constituted child abuse...they both said 'no'.

Are you serious!? I'm suprised people even use that term on a parenting site...like I'm out pretending to be a parent, so I can infiltrate a parenting website so as to wreak havoc!

yeah, cause its Never been done.

Whatever...

Enough, children.

i think we need to agree to disagree here.

as moms, we can be over-protective on subjects like this because we imagine this happening with our children and our immediate reaction is disgust and anger. understandably. but the fact remains that we do not know this family or the full details of what happened.

for everyone who said they would never discipline their child this way... does that mean you have NEVER lost control, even once, with your kids? of course not. we are human. we make mistakes. why are we judging this mom so harshly... just cuz it was caught on tape??

by today's standards, i am sure i would have been a foster kid cuz my mom was an authoritarian. she smoked. she never forced me to eat breakfast.. i was tiny til i was 10yrs old., she spanked and yelled and grounded etc etc., but was she a horrible mom? no, she just believed in rules and punishment. it's not like she beat me with a chain or put cigarettes out on me. would she do things differently now.. probably. but i have no lasting scars over a swat on the rear even though it is horribly frowned upon now.

and beyond that, men and women see and read things very differently. take what is said with a grain of salt and please, no name calling or rudeness.

I'm not 2yrs. old. Any parent here should know that kids at that age do all they can sometimes to go around naked...trust me, it doesn't humiliate them. Like I said, would you rather the mother left the child in her wet clothes?

Nope. The reason you only see me on this thread, is because I only joined this site to respond to this specific subject. I was googling more info on the story, and this site was one of the results. I was suprised everyone that had commented was so aghast, so I decided to post.

Are you serious!? I'm suprised people even use that term on a parenting site...like I'm out pretending to be a parent, so I can infiltrate a parenting website so as to wreak havoc!

Enough. I'm the husband. A sane person. Perhaps. No, I have not sprayed my children in a carwash...however, I wouldn't rule it out. I also asked two of my sisters (who are both mothers) if they thought this mom's actions constituted child abuse...they both said 'no'.

For the record, as a mod I know this first hand, that people do come on this site, act as if they are parents, steal pics of other people's children etc......so yes this happens.